Bi-lingual problem!

Disneybaby2 · Nov 18, 2009 6:41PM

Hi all i haven't been on here for weeks now so hi hope ur all doing well x

Right here's the problem; My husbands Swedish (not the problem) and we live in England. We really want our baby girl to be Bi-lingual, of course she has to really as we intend to move there one day.
My hubby always speaks Swedish to her at home but unfortunately i still can't speak it (to which i'm very ashamed as we've been together over 6 yrs!!!) Every time we go to visit his family we come home with the intention of me learning Swedish...but it never happens! Its just so easy to talk in English as having a conversation takes so long otherwise and my husbands English is perfect with no accent. I understand quite a bit but its not good enough, I'm so embarrassed that I've not learnt yet, really bad of me i know.

Anyway my problem is, on top of that, my MIL is from Chilli so speaks only Swedish and Spanish, not English!!! Because she didn't speak enough Spanish with her children and they're not fluent in it (although hubby understands it) she is determined to speak only Spanish with our lo. So do all of his aunts, there's 8 of them and they're a really close family so we see them everytime we go over. Its great that they want to teach her Spanish and i'm not complaining but won't it be too much? I mean she'll hear English with me all day and from tv, my family etc, but only Swedish when daddys home so I think that it might be more prudent to have Swedish all around her in Sweden so she can learn it fluently. But if she's got Spanish there too is it not going to confuse her so her Swedish (which she'll need when we move there) is only adverage?

Sorry to witter on. Any opinions welcome. What do you all think?

LouLou09 x

jojo149 · Nov 17, 2009 5:55AM

no she wont get confused hun, baby's are like sponges and pick up new languages really easily, hte more languages she knows the easier it is for her to learn even more!! i only know this because i'm welsh and in wales they try to get you to speak both english and welsh to your babies from birth to promote both languages. she'll be fine and amaze you all!!

also my dad has friends who live in greece with their little girl, they speak english, greek and spanish (the mother is from puerto rico) and she does all the translating when my dad goes over to visit because the adults find it too difficult!!

xxxx

WoWbabies · Nov 17, 2009 6:47AM

hi g/c from born in march 09. my OH is belgian so we're trying to bring ds up speaking english and dutch/flemish, can't really help with ur situation tho as ur looking at 3 languages, personally i wld think as its most ipmortant for her to know english and swedish i personally wld concentrate on those and add spanish in a few yrs so it will be a third language but swedish and english will be her main two. but anyway the whole reason i was replying is cos i'm the same with dutch/fleimsh i only speak a tiny bit and OHs parents don't speak any english. whenever their over here or we're over there i vow to learn but its so tricky especially as all books are dutch pronounciation but flemish is same words but different accent on them so if i say it how a holland dutch book says then his parents still don't quite get what i'm saying if that makes sense?. also tyhey have a dialect that is not just yet another accent on words (like cornwall and yorkshire for example, same words just said differently) its whole new words, and they are forver talking in that so i can't even learn flemish dutch from listening to them, drives me insane. i'm dreading going over in january as i'm gonna spend a week in house full of ppl i can't talk to and if there is more than one person talking OH won't translate as it gets too complicated grrr, and will then only translate things to me that he feels i need to know. like when they were over here last the only bits i got translated were when they wanted to know the nearest atm pont etc. anyhoo, pointless post rant over lol xx

Disneybaby2 · Nov 17, 2009 6:51PM

Thanks for the advice, i think i'll just let her hear as many as pos and hopefully she'll be fluent in all 3. Its reasuring to hear about the little girl in Greece jojo, my lo will probably be translating to me!

Siany, i completely understyand ur rant lol Its frustrating isn't it not knowing whats being said. The worst thing is when i'm sat with all hubbys aunts etc and they're all laughing at some joke, then everyone stops and stares while the joke is repeated to me in English! Its so embarrassing, i kind of do a fake laugh and hope they start talking again.
Anyhow, i'm quite used to it now but really wish i knew the language. The problem is its so easy to forget to learn and next thing you know its 6 yrs later and i've still not learnt...rubbish!
I'm lucky as my hubbys dad speaks English (not great but well enough) and his sis and friends are all fluent. But i feel awful everytime i go.
It sounds really really complicated with the whole flemish thing, i feel for you.
How are you learning, just with ur OH or recording etc? x

WoWbabies · Nov 18, 2009 5:43AM

i know what u mean about forgetting to learn, i had a book out from the library for months, had to keep updating the loan of it but never actually read it lol! everytime i did try some of it, i wld say it to OH and he'd be like 'no thats holland dutch' and procede to tell me the flemish pronounciation but he never really has time to help (rather he forgets i can't learn alone) so it gets left and left. his brother and BIL are fluent english and most of his friends but his bro refuses to speak to me in englush until i can speak to him in flemish (grrr) even in my own house! i have mainly tried to learn via books with the help of OH as recordings etc have the wrong pronounciation (there are no flemish books only holland dutch) so are no use really.
it took me a while to get my head round the dutch/flemish thing, basically felmish is exactly the same as dutch when written but the pronounciation is completely different, so on papare its all dutch but when spoken it becomes flemish, and then each area of the flemish speaking part of belgium (not sure about the french half) has its own dialect where they use completely different words and there seems to be no link between any of the dialects with each other or with flemish (mind boggling) so u can be in one area and they'll be speaking one dialect and go to the next town and they'll have a whole new set of words for almost everything. lol i have learnt a fair bit in retrospect but its all pre made sentences if u know what i lmean? i can't just say anything spontaneous....but i do know how to say 'there's an elephant in the bathroom with and umbrella' lol, useful i know!
is ur hubby teaching u? its annoying as i've looked at the colleges round here and they teach fench german, spanish, italian, polish russian etc but none of the northen european countries. xx

floss78 · Nov 18, 2009 12:08PM

Hiya Loulou,

I agree with Jojo; my mum always said 'babies brains are like a sponge, they just soak up information'. Roxy will learn easily enough but I also agree with Siany about English being her first language as it more universally spoken throughout the world.
Hope you had a good trip

Shell & Alfie xx

Disneybaby2 · Nov 18, 2009 6:41PM

Hi Shell, yeah our trip was fun but hectic as we had to see people everyday for 10 days! Manic. I am def going to have her spoken to in all 3 languages in that case but as we live in England and i'm with her all day her first language will prob be english anyhow.
Annette i'm confused just reading about it so you must be baffled! It sounds so complicated.
I got one of those tape/book learning thingys when we first met in 2003 but my hubby laughed at it as on it they were speaking from Stockholm which apparently is really different from Gothenburg(where he's from). And ur right it is so frustrating not having any classes like you said. Nowhere does it except London grrr. I was actually thinking about ordering the Rosetta Stone learning software. Apparently its really good but ??300 odd so expensive. I'm just feeling slightly desperate now lol xx

Bi-lingual problem!

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