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How are you getting on with oh?
Hi Ladies,
I was just wondering how you are getting on with oh since the babies came along and if your relationship has changed?
We really aren't getting on very well at all and haven't had a conversation about anything but the baby since he was born. We have had sex once but other than that haven't cuddled, kissed or even held hads. I don't really want him to touch me as I am afraid that he will think its going to lead to sex and I feel so repulsive at the minute I can't stand the thought of being naked with him.
He has been great with house work and has done all the cleaning and washing but really hasn't haad anything to do with the baby at all. He cuddles him and chats to him when he gets in from work but has never changed a nappy, dressed him or given him a bath and I genuinly mean never. He says he is scared of hurting him and will do more when the baby gets older and is refusing to do night feeds because he has to go to work in the morning. He had been sleeping in the spare room towards the end of my pregnancy and never moved back into our room again and it seems to be a permanent arrangement.That would be almost ok but he is always critisising and questioning how I care for the baby and makes me feel like sh*t.
I'm considering going and staying with my mum and dad for a while an was looking at flats near them for me and Jason. I just don't really like oh anymore and we have nothing at all to talk about anymore. I''m not sure if we are still in love. Do you think lots of people go through an awkward adjustment stage when a baby comes into the house?
I was just wondering how you are getting on with oh since the babies came along and if your relationship has changed?
We really aren't getting on very well at all and haven't had a conversation about anything but the baby since he was born. We have had sex once but other than that haven't cuddled, kissed or even held hads. I don't really want him to touch me as I am afraid that he will think its going to lead to sex and I feel so repulsive at the minute I can't stand the thought of being naked with him.
He has been great with house work and has done all the cleaning and washing but really hasn't haad anything to do with the baby at all. He cuddles him and chats to him when he gets in from work but has never changed a nappy, dressed him or given him a bath and I genuinly mean never. He says he is scared of hurting him and will do more when the baby gets older and is refusing to do night feeds because he has to go to work in the morning. He had been sleeping in the spare room towards the end of my pregnancy and never moved back into our room again and it seems to be a permanent arrangement.That would be almost ok but he is always critisising and questioning how I care for the baby and makes me feel like sh*t.
I'm considering going and staying with my mum and dad for a while an was looking at flats near them for me and Jason. I just don't really like oh anymore and we have nothing at all to talk about anymore. I''m not sure if we are still in love. Do you think lots of people go through an awkward adjustment stage when a baby comes into the house?
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Replies
I do think u need to take sometime alone together even if ur mum an dad only take him for a couple of hours at the weekend just talk an be urselves
It is hard trying to readjust, my hubs can be pretty crap regarding housework and I've been ill and felt like I had to beg him to do stuff, which has really hacked me off. He also went out when Sophia was two weeks old until 2am and I felt totally abandoned and I didnt speak to him for 3 days!!! Since he has been off work he has seen that I dont sit on my arse all day on facebook!!! Im glad he's back at work though!!!
We havent had sex either and he is winding me up saying he will have forgotton how to do it and honestly I couldnt care less! I've got my 6 week check next week and I was supposed to have decided really on contraception (if I have an iud they will fit it then) but honestly contraception is the last thing on my mind!!!! At this point I cannot imagine having sex!!!! Hubs tried to passionately kiss me the other day but all it did was gross me out! Prob coz I didnt want it to lead anywhere!
Me and hubs have both critiscised each other regarding how we look after baby! I try to stop myself and I fly off the handle if he even questions my methods! It has since relaxed a little though!!!
You are not alone!!! It's a big time for readjustment!!! I love Sophia more than anything in the world, the bond is stronger between me and her because I did all the bloody hard work! Hubby loves me and her equally but he knows that I will never love anyone as much as I love her and I guess that makes him in wary territory!!!
Take some time together, if you need some space just go to your mums for a day!
Take care babe, I've rambled a bit but just want you to know your feelings are shared xxx