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felt like a bad mum...
Had a world swallow me up moment yesterday at the post natal group I go to.
Marcus had been feed, had a nappy change and a play just before and during the group. I noticed he was starting to yawn so went to put him down in his pram in the hope he would sleep for the last 15 mins or so of the group.
( Now as I think I have mentioned on here he fights sleep during the day and the only way I get him to sleep is to take him for a walk or a drive in the car. He isn't fooled by just being pushed backwards and forwards in the pram but sometimes he only needs two minutes outside of walking and he is asleep. )
Anyway there he was in the pram with it not moving and getting tired and grizzly so he then starts to wail and wail and wail. so I end up bundling him into his snow suit turning on his musical bear and trying to leave which was hard to do as several other prams in the way.
I felt like everyone was watching and thinking I was crap at this mothering lark as he sounded so pitiful.
What made it worse was we had spent the majority of the session talking about sleep problems and opinion was divided on did you let them cry or did you pick them up. If it hadn't been me it had happened to I would of thought how ironic it was. the health visitor followed me out to see how I and he was and by the time I had pushed him about 10 meters to a chair he was asleep and I just burst into tears! She is due to see me tomorrow to finish of his 6-8 week check and she will think I am lying if I say my mood is fine and my post natal depression score isn't elevated.
So I guess my question is would you guys of felt/ thought similar ie everyone thinks I am crap, or what would you have thought if you had witnessed this? Or was i just being mad and silly due to tiredness as had a bad night with him the night before.
Jillycat
Marcus had been feed, had a nappy change and a play just before and during the group. I noticed he was starting to yawn so went to put him down in his pram in the hope he would sleep for the last 15 mins or so of the group.
( Now as I think I have mentioned on here he fights sleep during the day and the only way I get him to sleep is to take him for a walk or a drive in the car. He isn't fooled by just being pushed backwards and forwards in the pram but sometimes he only needs two minutes outside of walking and he is asleep. )
Anyway there he was in the pram with it not moving and getting tired and grizzly so he then starts to wail and wail and wail. so I end up bundling him into his snow suit turning on his musical bear and trying to leave which was hard to do as several other prams in the way.
I felt like everyone was watching and thinking I was crap at this mothering lark as he sounded so pitiful.
What made it worse was we had spent the majority of the session talking about sleep problems and opinion was divided on did you let them cry or did you pick them up. If it hadn't been me it had happened to I would of thought how ironic it was. the health visitor followed me out to see how I and he was and by the time I had pushed him about 10 meters to a chair he was asleep and I just burst into tears! She is due to see me tomorrow to finish of his 6-8 week check and she will think I am lying if I say my mood is fine and my post natal depression score isn't elevated.
So I guess my question is would you guys of felt/ thought similar ie everyone thinks I am crap, or what would you have thought if you had witnessed this? Or was i just being mad and silly due to tiredness as had a bad night with him the night before.
Jillycat
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Replies
its hard but time is great on the old confidence
big hugs
xxxxx
I think because we had been talking about sleep and there he was fighting it and getting upset that made it worse. Normally if I am out walking him or in the shop I can think stuff you about people looking because 9 times out of 10 I don't know them. But there it was other people I will see again and the bloody HV, Too late now but it is what he does when he gets tired and he wants is walk to settle him its his way of say "mummy take me out for some fresh air I need to sleep".
Jillycat
its just sods law, cleverly timed on marcus' part, he was just testin to see if u were listening..OR he dont like the mummies ther and was telling em so!!
HVs make u paranoid dont they. mine made me question if i had pnd, in the end i stopped tellin her 2 much cos i knew i was fine. iv never had a baby before, body been thru the mill, hormones, cut, stitches, not pg anymore....all really got to me and i now no i wasnt alone.remember to vent on here if ur down, its so lovely to realise everything we go through is normal
xxxx
I would bet that the others in the group go through exactly the same things and were probably looking at you feeling sorry for you so try not to beat yourself up about it.
As for your health visitor if she has anything about her she will understand what it is like to be a first time mum and the pressure we feel to do our best for our los.
You are doing a great job and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
L xxxx
You are doing a brilliant job!! Keep smiling, Tracy
I totally understand and would probably have done the same thing - Cole is a bugger for not napping in the daytime and won't have a decent sleep unless we have been on a long walk. You know what is best for Marcus, you know how to make sure he takes a much needed nap and you were attending to his needs... sod what anyone else thinks - I'm sure all the other mums have done things like that.
Every time I walk out my front door wiht a grizzly boy crying in his pram I bet the nosy old lady across the road is watching me and thinking how awful I am but I don't bother because I know by the time I get to the end of the road Cole will be asleep!
As for the hv.. they all seem to be obsessed with pnd.. if you know yourself you are fine and just were tired from a bad night then don't let her hassle you. I'm sure my hv thinks I have problems cause I have no interest in going to mother and baby groups .. she's not gonna be impressed when I tell her where to stick her pnd questionnaire!
Only we know our lo's and how to settle them so b****r everyone else!
Kia- Sounds like Marcus and Cole are very similar with the fighting sleep issue I seem to spend my day going for walks or drives to send him to sleep, but oddly have found if he doesn't sleep properly during the day then he wont on a night.
Health Visitor was fine today when she came round not due to see her till 4 months now for this weaning visit they seem to do round here.
I get that too at night if he's not napped in the daytime. I think I'm gonna have to take him for a walk if he doesnt drop off soon and after asda I really cant be bothered!!