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Birth-just hit me

Me & hubby have been talking about another baby recently, Im looking for work again, as well as focussing on getting my health sorted & fingers crossed hubby's money will rise again in September. We said we will talk about it again around that time.
Anyway, I just replied to someone on the traumatic birth form, and it all just hit me. Im terrified of labour again, not the pain of contractions, but Elijah's birth was really traumatic. Well here's what I just posted on there:

I also had a failed epidural during labour, although the 2nd one worked just in time for me to have ventouse delivery & lots of stiches.
I was so drugged up on pethidine at the time I couldnt understand what was going on and am also worried about this happening again with baby no. 2 when it happens.
My labour was also v.long (72 hours) and I had various complications with both me & baby.
Ive never talked to anyone about it like midwife/doctor but plan to when i next get pg x


Until I wrote this out, I had really forgotten how scary it was. Elijah was back to back, so although I coped really well with the contractions, the back and leg pain was the worst thing ever. I almost died and so did bubba image Was really scary for everyone, especially hubby.
Im not against trying to give birth again, im just so worried it might go wrong again. Ive never talked to anyone about this; dont think I even posted on our forum at the time as I didnt wanna scare those of you who were still due! :lol:
I guess I should have really got my notes afterwards and talked to someone, but I wasnt really up to facing it.
Just wanted to get all this out really! Im not even pg again, just the thinkings got me worried xx

Replies

  • oh bluey, you've kept that bottled up all this time, i don't remember you posting anything like that, although i still have baby brain and can't remember last week, let alone 2.5 years!

    My sil also had an awful first delivery, tore really badly and ended up having surgery to "put things right" down there. She spoke to the dr before getting pregnant with no.2, and then with the midwife whilst pregnant and they arranged for her to have an elective c-section if that was what she wanted, which she did.

    Every pregnancy and labour is different, you may find that the next one is quick, easy and without complications. To put your mind at ease talk to your dr now before you even start trying, with that at the back of your mind you will be stressing yourself out.

    hugs x
  • Crikey Bluey you poor thing! I was really lucky with both my labours and got away with no pain relief with Brendan and a little gas and air with Jacob (which I hated so threw the mask away lol!). But everything went smoothly which obviously made a huge difference to the pain levels.

    As Pootle says 2nd labours can be different to your 1st, the baby may be in a much better position and give a straight forward birth. If you are this worried now though I wouldn't hesitate going to talk to your GP about it so you can try and relax a bit more about it. I think (as Pootle says her sil did) I would be tempted to go for an elective c-section if I was particularly worried to make sure everything is safe for you and baby.

    Big hugs xxx
  • Oh you poor thing..and scary for both you and yoru hubby.

    I can highly recommend talking with your hubby or here or wherever you are comfortable as a way of dealing with it. I had a really rough time with cole but it hit me a bit after (mostly when i figured out how much blood I'd actually lost - they told me in litres and when i realised it was 5 pints thats when it hit!) - and I found talking with hubby helped. Actually.. the traumatic birth forum was my idea lol..and I found posting on there in the early days of the forum helpful too. I wrote out my whole birth story to post here, and then lost the post but felt better after getting it all out.

    You are entitled to have a review of your labour/birth - I forget what its called but anyone has a right to ask for it - I was going to but decided to wait and deal with it for baby no 2.

    As for elective - sounds like it might be what you need - definately worth looking into. My friend had a difficult labour with her first which ended in an emergency section and had electives with her next 2.

    If you want to talk feel free to message me on fb or somethign

    big hugs

    xx
  • That's terrible! If it were me I'd request my notes - it's helped writing it down on here so that could help you too.

    I too would be tempted to go for elective c-section but you might be able to do a bit of research and see that you are just as likely as anyone else to have a 'normal' delivery.

    Talk on here more if you need to get it out.

    xxxxx
  • Oh sounds awful, and to have kept it bottled up for so long...
    You must def talk to hubby and also when you do get pg, tell the mw asap about your worries. They say every birth and labour etc is different, but I was very lucky they were all relatively easy in length and after-effects etc. An elective c-sec may well be the best option. My friend had a really tough 1st labour and ended up with em c-sec so was booked in for an elec c-sec early on with her 2nd lo. She said it was so much better knowing lo would arrive on such a day, and that she knew there would be no pain (other than recovery).
    I wouldn't let it put me off having another baby, as there are so many options these days. Hope you can get your head round it and that talking it through helps. x
  • It's never too late to go through your notes - we had a 'reflections' session (that's what they are caled in our NHS trust but they all do them) witha midwife not long ago. I would highly recommend one it's deinitely worth inding out about them for your area!

    Sorry to hear it was so terrible.
  • Thank you all.
    Kia I will send you a message when a get a proper minute image
    Maxi-yes I think i need to go through my notes with someone, it would really help as no ones has ever really explained exactly what happened. The reason labour was so long though was due to the cord being wrapped around his wrist. I was pushing literally for about 2 hours and nothing, because of this, which obviously they didnt know about.
    Ive also thought about a section, but really would just liked it all discussed so i can think it through & make an informed decision x
  • Thank you all.
    Kia I will send you a message when a get a proper minute image
    Maxi-yes I think i need to go through my notes with someone, it would really help as no ones has ever really explained exactly what happened. The reason labour was so long though was due to the cord being wrapped around his wrist. I was pushing literally for about 2 hours and nothing, because of this, which obviously they didnt know about.
    Ive also thought about a section, but really would just liked it all discussed so i can think it through & make an informed decision x
  • Sorry I've only just had time to reply to this - I guess I've been lucky with all mine - I've only had relatively minor problems that have happened after the birth.... I can't really add any more than to the advice you've already been given.. just remember that what happened last time is very very unlikely to happen again but it would be good to talk it through with someone... sorry for being useless xxx
  • Thnakyou Em. Youre not useless either. image xx
  • Thnakyou Em. Youre not useless either. image xx
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