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those with 2/3 etc child - who looks after the others ...
when you are in labour?? This is my current total panic! Sorry if this turns into a ramble but i think writing it down may help!
So, we live 6 hrs drive from my mum and dad and 3 hrs from Mil and Fil (and I DO NOT get on with them either). With my last preg I went into labour 6 weeks early and my actual labour was only 3 hrs! So I imagine this time around it may well be quicker and we can't really predict when it might happen either (I know you never can!)
So we need to have some kind of plan for who will look after Max when I do go into labour and it is too complicated. My mum has said she will head our way at the first sign of ANYTHING so we need someone to be around for the 6 hrs until she can get here basically.
Max will still be in nursery on a Tues and Thurs all day - so the ideal would be that I went into labour on the mornign of a nursery day cos my mum would be here in time to pick him up from nursery
but the chances of that happenign are minimal! If it could be ona weekend then options are easier as we have a few friends who would happily have max for us and who he knows well enough to be very happy with! But the other week days are more tricky as most people are at work! One of my friends will be on mat leave with potentially a 6 wk old and she has said she is happy to help BUT She has met max a handful of times and I don't know how settled he would be with her. If nursery is NOT busy on the day we can drop him for extra sessions and pay and he would be very happy there but that depends on the day! His key worker from nursery would have him ANYTIME of night or day for us which would be fab and he would LOVE but if she is working that doesn't work either, and then we have a couple of friends who work parttime so on their days off might be around to help out abnd he would happily go with them and their kids! If it is the middle of the night it is more tricky as apart from the key worker we have one good friend who would come here so he could stay in bed but She is an hour away (in the process of moving closer tho) and would need to go to work I imagine come the mornign (maybe she could ring in sick or get a last minute day off but feel awful making someone do that for us)
SO - it's complicated, constantly playing on my mind and not really solvable in a DEFINITIVE way as it is so variable on the day etc. I really want max to be left happy and relaxed as we go off to welcome a new one into the world and I want to know what;s going on!!!
So what did everyone else do??? NO homebirth t is just NOT on my radar!!
So, we live 6 hrs drive from my mum and dad and 3 hrs from Mil and Fil (and I DO NOT get on with them either). With my last preg I went into labour 6 weeks early and my actual labour was only 3 hrs! So I imagine this time around it may well be quicker and we can't really predict when it might happen either (I know you never can!)
So we need to have some kind of plan for who will look after Max when I do go into labour and it is too complicated. My mum has said she will head our way at the first sign of ANYTHING so we need someone to be around for the 6 hrs until she can get here basically.
Max will still be in nursery on a Tues and Thurs all day - so the ideal would be that I went into labour on the mornign of a nursery day cos my mum would be here in time to pick him up from nursery
but the chances of that happenign are minimal! If it could be ona weekend then options are easier as we have a few friends who would happily have max for us and who he knows well enough to be very happy with! But the other week days are more tricky as most people are at work! One of my friends will be on mat leave with potentially a 6 wk old and she has said she is happy to help BUT She has met max a handful of times and I don't know how settled he would be with her. If nursery is NOT busy on the day we can drop him for extra sessions and pay and he would be very happy there but that depends on the day! His key worker from nursery would have him ANYTIME of night or day for us which would be fab and he would LOVE but if she is working that doesn't work either, and then we have a couple of friends who work parttime so on their days off might be around to help out abnd he would happily go with them and their kids! If it is the middle of the night it is more tricky as apart from the key worker we have one good friend who would come here so he could stay in bed but She is an hour away (in the process of moving closer tho) and would need to go to work I imagine come the mornign (maybe she could ring in sick or get a last minute day off but feel awful making someone do that for us)SO - it's complicated, constantly playing on my mind and not really solvable in a DEFINITIVE way as it is so variable on the day etc. I really want max to be left happy and relaxed as we go off to welcome a new one into the world and I want to know what;s going on!!!
So what did everyone else do??? NO homebirth t is just NOT on my radar!!
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Replies
We had the same worries, obviously living abroad no family around to help out. My Mum booked to come over for two weeks (a week either side of my due date) in the hope that would cover it. But like you I was worried it would happen earlier or later so we had a few friends on standby just in case. We have some good friends who have two boys themselves and they were really keen to have Brendan for us if necessary. We don't see them loads though so like you I was worried how Brendan would cope if we did need them to look after him. We made an effort to go and see them more the weeks leading up to my due date and they called over to us a few times too. I had a bag packed for Brendan with pjs and a couple of changes of clothes, all the essential stuff he would need and I wrote down our normal routine, what he usually ate, when he went to bed etc etc. It was lucky I did as I had Jacob 10 days early so my Mum wasn't here yet. My waters went at 3am so we dropped Brendan round at our friends at about 5am. I did feel awful getting Bren out of bed and leaving him while he was still sleepy but there was nothing we could do! He was with them for one night as hubby stayed in the hospital with me the first night we had Jacob. Bren was totally fine and had a great time, our friend works in a nursery so took him along to work with her as her boss had said no problem. Apparantly he was a real hit with the other children and had a brilliant time.
I think you have to be realistic that you need to have a few people you can call on depending on when things happen. It isn't always ideal but it won't be for long and Max will be fine as long as you make a big fuss of him afterwards. It may be worth preparing him as you get closer towards your due date. Telling him who may be looking after him when his baby brother or sister arrives, where he may stay etc. Having a bag packed for Brendan put my mind at rest a bit, I at least felt more organised! Plus I could make sure he had some nice toys in there, you could put a little present in there too and a favourite book or two.
It will all work out ok I'm sure so don't stress too much x
my mum lives half an hour away and we quickly realised she wasn't going to make it so we phoned my mil too. we ended up with a houseful cos my mum bought my brother (god knows why!) but we ended up sending him to look out for the second ambulance.
definately have someone on standby who lives near you!
We had to get my friend to go round my mum n dads after having Gracie as they were both out on Xmas does/conferences that night lol. And the hosp were so slow to do her 6hr check, we literally got to their house as my mum was off out, and we got home and my dad arrived an hour later to meet his 1st grandaughter.