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emotional regulation

Hi all

Just wondering what the other lo's are like at the moment with their emotions. Max is just all over the place and can't seem to control or regulate his emotions he can be having the time of his life one minute and as happy as larry and then it's like a switch has flicked and he will be in floods of wailing tears over NOTHING! things like which colour plate of cup he has or if you ask him to get his shoes or turnign off the TV (with plenty of warning) can just turn him into a wailing wreck. we are finding it VERY wearing as he needs comforting to calm down yet at the same time it seems ridiculous to be comforting him over basically nothing, also at times I feel we are pandering to him which might make it worse but sometimes it's anything for an easy life.

Just wondered if this is a phase - if so I hope it ends soon!

Replies

  • Sorry I have no advice Hollys not like that but she is getting cheeky and answers no if you ask her to do anything, here's hoping its just a phase for you xxx
  • Brendan is like this too, goes from being as good as gold to having a big tantrum over something really silly. Normally something he wanted to do himself that we did automatically, or as you say if he wanted a particular cup and got a different one.
    To be honest I'm not very patient with him over it, I usually ask him to tell me what the matter is - which normally he can hardly do as he is in such a paddy. Then I will just say he needs to take a deep breath and calm down and I focus on Jacob so he isn't getting loads of attention for the tantrum.

    The worst time he does it is when I go and get him from nursery, 9 times out of 10 he wants to stay there and keep playing even though I leave it until 4pm to pick him up (the nursery closes at 4:30pm). I get Jacob first from upstairs then go and get Brendan and he is happy to see me but then just refuses to come with me and makes a big fuss. It is really embarassing as all the other children go happily with their mums or dads. Plus as I already have Jacob in my arms, and any dirty clothes, it isn't easy for me to just grab him and carry him out! I've tried all sorts of techniques, even saying ok then bye, and leaving the nursery. I've got as far as fastening Jacob into the car and he still isn't bothered!! I'm really really hoping he grows out of it soon as it really upsets me when out and about.

    Sorry no real advice! Just that I can totally sympathise! My main worry is that I can guarantee as soon as Brendan grows out of it Jacob will start with the same thing!! Arrrgggghhh!!! x

  • We're not really going through this either but when he does have a meltdown it's usually down to frustration as he lacks the communication to explain what he wants all the time. If he does throw a huge paddy I do just tell him to get on with it because I'm not listening and that tends to finih it off quite quickly.
  • Oaks does this....if we are in a rush we just bundles him into coat shoes etc and without eye contact or talking just take him where ever we have to be.

    If it's no rush we tell off, then ignore. he now is so funny as he realises we aren't falling / pandering to it and he distracts himself....literally he will then wipe his tears take a big breath and say in a voice like me 'Oh I think I'll just play with this /look at this' etc.

    Give it a go!;\)
  • Well I am pleased it's not just my little treasure doing this!! But sorry that others have to go through the same - I find it very trying and frustrating. I do try to ignore it and be very 'busy' doing other things and it usually works but it's just so often through the day and it winds me up something chronic (and my hubbie too) sometimes when it's reaching snapping point we just put him into the small hallway and tell him when he's finished he can come back - I just need distance and a door between me and the moaning racket and that works too.

    Liz - Max is the same you ask him too explain and he just can't even get any words out or even more irritating he says 'I don't want to' arrrrggggghhhh!
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