hi Charli - its hard work looking after kids and when they're your own they really know how to push your buttons. my 4 year old drove me to despair today i was so cross with him. i compeltely lost my temper with him and started shouting at him. I don't really know how to deal with him when he just pushes and pushes and pushes. he was on the naughty seat 4 times today and he still doesn't do as he's asked. the worse thing is when he hurts noah. you have been having a stressfull time and suddenly being at home trying to keep yourself and your lo happy and entertained and keep ontop of all the boring things like laundry and cleaning sucks. don't beat yourself up over it. you're a good mum and you love your little boy. move on and do something just for fun with him, zach and i ended up watching mamma mia and dancing round like loons. we had real giggles and all was forgotton. If its something that starts happening all the time then maybe you should talk to someone about the stress you've been under but for now go easly on yourself lots of love and big hugsxx
Hi hun, I agree with Jules. I have had the odd moment with Brendan too where he has just driven me insane not doing what he is told. It is hard work being with them 24/7. I think the main thing is you didn't do anything bad, you realised what you were about to do and kept it under control. I think you would have done the same even if you were at home too. Maybe think about time out techniques you can use when Max is pushing things and it is a situation that may get out of hand, that way you will feel a bit more in control. If you can talk to your hv then do as I am sure she will have heard it before and may have some useful advice you can share with the rest of us lol!
oh sweetie, dont worry too much i think every parent has there patience tested several times a week and some kids just go through random phases... we have found that fin on the whole is fab and i know i cant moan as all friends and family say he's an angel....HE'S NOT at home with me but i know he could be worse... we know that if fin starts having tantrum it's only ever if we tell him off or he's not allowed something he goes in to complete meltdown and nothing works apart from leaving him or distraction....... distraction being my preferred!!!
if i was like you and out - i prob would have git very flustered and just shoved him in pushchair and left......... then been fuming for rest of day!!!!
i would talk to hv and then you'll see that they will prob say that loads of mumjs feel that way!!!
also if you have worked full time since he was young then it must be total shock being at home - it can be a long day! when im off work i litrally jam my days full - silly as no housework gets done but i just cannot be at home i get bored!!! also have you got a garden... we have just done ours so we can open back door and fin goes outside on his own as safe now and plays in sand pit with lanmower etc... also good one is some water in tub and an old paintbrush and they think there painting the floor............. this way fin is happy as he's out i get bits done and keep eye on him then go and have a play!!!
Went to baby clinic but totally chickened out of saying anything - HOW STUPID! Got him weighed and measured and had to cajole him the whole time - That's what I am finding so hard keeping that happy smiley cheering voice on when really you want to yell!
I have decided that I will try and do a bit more each day in the house or for me whether max clinges or screams or not so I feel more productive, also going to get some more excercise as that always makes me feel more positive so I will go swimming twice a week.
We went into town to meet a friend for lunch today and we went on the TRAIN - MAx loves the train and it meant I got a good walk to the station and back rather than being lazy in the car. Max was too tired to enjoy lunch but refused to sleep so yelled a LOT! :roll:
Think that's also making things tricky - I am the only one of my friends that has a lo so although I would normally talk to that lot about ANYTHING I don't want to mention this to them as they won't understnad really! And my mummy friends I get on well with but we are not THAT close if you know what I mean - we've only known each other 20months really Also it's really lonely being on school hols I've realsied cos everyone else is at work, all the baby groups round us seem to stop over the hols so I am finding it hard to give myself some company as well as keep max busy!!!
ANYWAY one thing for max and one thing for me every day and more excercise is my way forward. If When I am back at work I am still feeling like this then it will have been over 2 months and I WILL make a GP appt!
Hope you don't all think I am a total wimp just didn't want to be a 'failure' and admit things to the hv (which actually makes me a failure cos I should be able to admit it ( Some of you are a lot stronger than me!)
don't feel a failure just because you didn't feel you could discuss it with the hv. she might be a nice lady but its not like you know her really well, also it maybe just wasn't the most opportune moment to have a heart to heart! it took me a really long time to 'click' with the people at baby groups. i know loads of people who are really friendly and i see round town etc but it doesn't mean i can open up to the whole bosom buddies thing. after a while it does get easier and sometimes opening up is what makes you get closer because as you've probably realised from here is we all have moments like that. i think its great that you are moving forward and making plans for yourself - you'll feel loads better. big hugs x
Oh crafty, it's darn hard work at the best of tines and like everyone else said we all lose our rag at sone point because our kiddies can be little monsters. There are times where I just cry and say I can't cope but it's usually down to the fact I'm frustrated I can't do what I need to and he's frustrated that I don't understand what he wants- it doesn't change anything but it makes it easier to cope understanding why you feel the way you do. Admitting you felt the way you did on here or in real life is a big stepand you didn't do anything so it is not a big deal. I am a stay at home mum and it is very wearing, ESP if you have a husband that doesn't understand that 5mins to sit down for a cup of tea would be bliss to you lol! I am sure you already feel better as everyone has said some really nice things and you have even mentioned getting out and about more. I also would have trouble telling my hv as I don't like her at all, however I'd be happy to tell my gp- they wouldn't think you were a bad mum and get social s on you, honestly, they'd just help talk you through feeling better. Take care x
i think everyone has said it all already and hopefully reading all of this is making you feel better. We all have deep dark thoughts about all sorts of things and people but remember...
It's not what you think, it's what you do.
I hope that's a good way to sum it all up.
We all have ups and downs being a mummy is the hardest but ultimately most rewarding job there is.
Big hugs sweetie. I know where you are coming from. You spend all that time longing to be a Mum, so sure you will be the best Mum ever and then... Toddler-hood hits!! The 'baby' you ooh'd and aah'd over turns into this willful little bundle who is trying to assert their own authority and you suddenly find yourself wondering 'What the HELL have I done?'.. It doesn't make you a bad Mummy, it makes you human and I am sure you wouldn't be saying to your HV the same things a hundred other Mummy's have said before!! XXX
d1ydiva is totally right, at the end of the day you're a human being who, when pushed, just may find you cant always cope, youre not always perfect or patient. Just like all of us. I constantly feel guilty, no matter how little or how much attention I give Elijah, whether im in a good frame of mind or not. I think the important thing is to keep talking to people like you are doing and remember to praise yourself when you do something well The TV thing is something which bugs me too, i really dont want my lo to watch too much, yet it keeps him still and quiet. If for example i get up and take Elijah to the park, i will then come back and think, right, i need to relax for a minute now. I will put the TV on then and not feel guilty about letting him watch it for a bit. I think its just small steps you have to take. I tend to look at the whole picture which is often too scary to deal with, its always better to sort one thing at a time. At the moment whats important is that you feel sane and that Max is ok too, so do what makes you feel ok xxxxx
Replies
you have been having a stressfull time and suddenly being at home trying to keep yourself and your lo happy and entertained and keep ontop of all the boring things like laundry and cleaning sucks.
don't beat yourself up over it. you're a good mum and you love your little boy. move on and do something just for fun with him, zach and i ended up watching mamma mia and dancing round like loons. we had real giggles and all was forgotton.
If its something that starts happening all the time then maybe you should talk to someone about the stress you've been under but for now go easly on yourself lots of love and big hugsxx
If you can talk to your hv then do as I am sure she will have heard it before and may have some useful advice you can share with the rest of us lol!
Take it easy, big hug being sent your way xxx
if i was like you and out - i prob would have git very flustered and just shoved him in pushchair and left......... then been fuming for rest of day!!!!
i would talk to hv and then you'll see that they will prob say that loads of mumjs feel that way!!!
also if you have worked full time since he was young then it must be total shock being at home - it can be a long day! when im off work i litrally jam my days full - silly as no housework gets done but i just cannot be at home i get bored!!! also have you got a garden... we have just done ours so we can open back door and fin goes outside on his own as safe now and plays in sand pit with lanmower etc... also good one is some water in tub and an old paintbrush and they think there painting the floor............. this way fin is happy as he's out i get bits done and keep eye on him then go and have a play!!!
xxx
UPDATE:
Went to baby clinic but totally chickened out of saying anything - HOW STUPID! Got him weighed and measured and had to cajole him the whole time - That's what I am finding so hard keeping that happy smiley cheering voice on when really you want to yell!
I have decided that I will try and do a bit more each day in the house or for me whether max clinges or screams or not so I feel more productive, also going to get some more excercise as that always makes me feel more positive so I will go swimming twice a week.
We went into town to meet a friend for lunch today and we went on the TRAIN - MAx loves the train and it meant I got a good walk to the station and back rather than being lazy in the car. Max was too tired to enjoy lunch but refused to sleep so yelled a LOT! :roll:
Think that's also making things tricky - I am the only one of my friends that has a lo so although I would normally talk to that lot about ANYTHING I don't want to mention this to them as they won't understnad really! And my mummy friends I get on well with but we are not THAT close if you know what I mean - we've only known each other 20months really
ANYWAY one thing for max and one thing for me every day and more excercise is my way forward. If When I am back at work I am still feeling like this then it will have been over 2 months and I WILL make a GP appt!
Hope you don't all think I am a total wimp just didn't want to be a 'failure' and admit things to the hv (which actually makes me a failure cos I should be able to admit it
it took me a really long time to 'click' with the people at baby groups. i know loads of people who are really friendly and i see round town etc but it doesn't mean i can open up to the whole bosom buddies thing. after a while it does get easier and sometimes opening up is what makes you get closer because as you've probably realised from here is we all have moments like that.
i think its great that you are moving forward and making plans for yourself - you'll feel loads better. big hugs x
Admitting you felt the way you did on here or in real life is a big stepand you didn't do anything so it is not a big deal. I am a stay at home mum and it is very wearing, ESP if you have a husband that doesn't understand that 5mins to sit down for a cup of tea would be bliss to you lol!
I am sure you already feel better as everyone has said some really nice things and you have even mentioned getting out and about more. I also would have trouble telling my hv as I don't like her at all, however I'd be happy to tell my gp- they wouldn't think you were a bad mum and get social s on you, honestly, they'd just help talk you through feeling better. Take care x
It's not what you think, it's what you do.
I hope that's a good way to sum it all up.
We all have ups and downs being a mummy is the hardest but ultimately most rewarding job there is.
It doesn't make you a bad Mummy, it makes you human and I am sure you wouldn't be saying to your HV the same things a hundred other Mummy's have said before!! XXX
I think the important thing is to keep talking to people like you are doing and remember to praise yourself when you do something well
The TV thing is something which bugs me too, i really dont want my lo to watch too much, yet it keeps him still and quiet. If for example i get up and take Elijah to the park, i will then come back and think, right, i need to relax for a minute now. I will put the TV on then and not feel guilty about letting him watch it for a bit. I think its just small steps you have to take. I tend to look at the whole picture which is often too scary to deal with, its always better to sort one thing at a time. At the moment whats important is that you feel sane and that Max is ok too, so do what makes you feel ok xxxxx