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For all those who are expecting....

...or have another or more children already.. Just wanted to ask some advice, or just see wat experiences u all had in regards to having a new baby, as I would love another baby,one for selfish reasons as I want two eventually so thinkin want the pregnancy over with etc, it's took me ages to lose the weight ( I find it hard to lose weight even if I don't eat ! I'm one of the unlucky ones : ) I'd also love a sibling for maddox and don't want too large an age gap am thinkin he will be two November, getting married in September so deffo carnt be until after that so he will be nearly three at the earliest, but the issues we got are the usual financial, ( know we wud prob manage like we did last time), nursery costs for two, general fear or havin two etc I am really enjoying just having maddox at the mo but the main concern is we live in a 2 bed house and still have 2 years in our mortgage deal, and it annoys me as I'd love to move but carnt and hate the fact the house is stopping me having a baby!

Just wondered if any of you had these dilemmas and let them/ or didn't let them determine if you did or didn't have another? Xx


  • Hey,

    I had a similar dilemma in the fact that we only live in a 2 bed house. I hummed and harred for ages whether to try for another one or not due to this fact.
    Basically we could move now, but that would mean increasing our mortgage. This means that i would have to return to work when the baby is only 3 months old!!!!!as we would not be able to afford a bigger mortgage if i was on smp. I really didnt want to do that.
    We worked all our finances out and really we dont really want to move for 3 yrs.
    I also didnt want a big age gap so we just decided to stay put for now and crack on and let fate decide.
    As it was i fell first month of trying. As our mortgage is quite low i can have a full year off if we stay in this house.
    I still worry about it as eventually the 2 will have to share but baby will be in with us for the first 6 months and a little longer if need be.
    We have decided to move in 3 yrs so worst case scenario they would only need to share for 18 months.
    However if we have another girl and the room sharing has no issues then we would probably be inclined to stay here even longer. I love this house!

    The funny thing is that my dh got a new job on Friday and it pays ??500 extra pm that what he gets at the mo. We are sticking to our 3 yr plan though.

    We are able to have a loft conversion in our property but we are still undecided and still think it would be easier to move than live in a building site for 10wks with 2 kids. Could you extend/loft covert??

    At the moment we dont need childcare as we both do shift work so work around one another. DH new job will be alot more demanding shift wise and there is traveeling involved so im not really sure how that will work at the moment but im trying not to worry about that at the moment as these things have a way of working out.

    A girl i know lives in a 2 bedroomed 3rd floor flat with 3 girls and a boy (ages 6,4,2 & 3months) and she makes it work.

    You only have 2 yrs on your mortgage. If you started trying in Dec and fell first month that takes out 16 months. Babe shares with you for 6 -8months takes you to 2 yrs. If it took you longet ro concieve it adds even more time on.

    I think you have to do whats best for you hun. I put a similar post on with these concerns months ago and got the general opinion of dont put your family on hold just because of a house. A house can be changed eventually.

    Good luck with your decision.xx

  • Hi, thanx so much for the reply was a lovely post and nice to hear your experiences, just wrote a big reply then my iPhone froze right on the last bit to submit and lost it all! Will reply back soon as I get in tomorrow bloody phone xx
  • Hey,
    well i have twins as you know...i moved into the flat and it was hard work doing it up how i liked and what not then started thinking about no.3 and realised we would need to move again and i was a bit unsure and then had things going on like wanting to go to uni etc...and decided we would wait a while! Then the twins came and suprised us....we found a lovely house plenty of room and a nice garden and neighbourhood! Obv i lost the twins but we moved anyway and i ended up loving the new house we had to tighten our belts a bit but hey and now were expecting again so sometimes decisions are taken out of your hand if you feel its right then go for it and dont let outside factors decide as there will always be something not quite right in these situations i think maybe just stop trying to stop it and see what happens! xxx
  • I did want to move before having another baby as I would prefer them to have separate rooms but I wasn't bothered enough to worry too much. We put the house on the market at the same time as we started TTC and as it happened immediately we weren't sure what would happen. I decided not to worry about it too much. After all LO is likely to be in our room until he/she is sleeping through anyway and my main worry was about disturbing Abby during the night.
    Our present nursery is definitely big enough for two cots so if we hadn't found the right house then we would have coped. It wouldn't have been my preference but then nothing is ever perfect.

    My OH still thinks we had the children too early. He still feels young (he's 29 next week image ) and thinks we could have saved more money. However he does agree with me that there is never a completely perfect time and what if I had difficulty conceiving if we had left it another 5 years? He is also nervous about having them so close together but actually, conversely, it could be better for us financially as it means that I can progress in my career earlier (I want to wait until they're at school).

    I don't think there is ever a "perfect" time to have a child. Even if you were comfortable financially you may then struggle physically or emotionally. It may be hard but once they are older then the child care costs will drop and it will get easier.

    H xx
  • thanks girls for all your replies! lovely to read them all and see your experiences too, i had wrote two posts on my phone then lost them so resorting to good ol laptop dont want u all to think wasnt replying!

    gemma thanks for the post, the clause we have with our house is it really is small theres really no way theres any more room in maddoxs room for another baby, its a good size for him with big cot wardrobe and little space for toys and rockin chair but thats about it, we got a good size bedroom luckily, i really would love to move hate the neighbour shes so loud no kids so every door is banged! rrahhh!! thats mad about that girl who has 4 kids in a little flat how does she cope! : )

    never saw it like that, suppose two years on the mortgage isnt that long really if we start ttc later this year..

    angelkisses your twins are gorge its nice u got a nice big house for them! leigh u make me laugh hehe sayin ur convincin urself ul be ok! am sure ul be just fine, things always work out in the end! your pregnancy is goin well quick time flies! thats why its on my mind next baby cos got so much on this year itl be xmas before we no it!

    think if maddoxs room was bigger i wouldnt mind them sharin but my house really is tiddy and im clever at hiding stuff so my house looks tidy! but there is no way any more room for equipment toys/clothes/baby etc! its poo : ( but think when were married in september, il wanna ttc and what happens happens ! : ) xx
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