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bedtime dramas!
hey lovely biddies,
just looking for any suggestions/similar experience of the problem i am now having with settling theo to bed.
before going back to work i had him in a great routine - bath, book, bottle, brush teeth, bed. i could put him down in his cot awake, press the musical, night light seahorse he sleeps with on, kiss him goodnight and leave the room, and he would happily settle himself to sleep, it was perfect.
now i work evenings the routine still works perfectly for al, when we are both home the change is i can not put him into his cot as he screams for me, so al takes him from my arms after his book and bottle, he cries for me but al can settle him and then i have to leave the room and al puts him down - he wont go in his cot and stay laying down if he can see me, he wants me. it's not perfect, but it's ok.
the big problem comes on nights like tonight when al is out. so i followed the routine, we had great fun splashing in the bath, a lovely cuddle with book and then bottle, all lovely until it came to when i have to put him in his cot and he just goes hysterical. he screams 'mama mama' and tonight was so upset i wwas worried he was going to make himself sick. i kept going in every few minutes and lieing him back down but it was just awful. ended up with theo hysterical in his cot and me crying on the stairs outside. i just felt like such a rubbish mum - what mum can't put her own son to bed?:\?
now he's settled, i'm not feeling so dramatic about it and know it's nothing about me being a bad mum, but i hate to think he was so upset going to sleep, it can't led to a peaceful nights sleep can it? so i really want to get this sorted - any suggestions gratefully received!
thanks, k x
[Modified by: kateandal on 19 July 2010 22:32:32 ]
just looking for any suggestions/similar experience of the problem i am now having with settling theo to bed.
before going back to work i had him in a great routine - bath, book, bottle, brush teeth, bed. i could put him down in his cot awake, press the musical, night light seahorse he sleeps with on, kiss him goodnight and leave the room, and he would happily settle himself to sleep, it was perfect.
now i work evenings the routine still works perfectly for al, when we are both home the change is i can not put him into his cot as he screams for me, so al takes him from my arms after his book and bottle, he cries for me but al can settle him and then i have to leave the room and al puts him down - he wont go in his cot and stay laying down if he can see me, he wants me. it's not perfect, but it's ok.
the big problem comes on nights like tonight when al is out. so i followed the routine, we had great fun splashing in the bath, a lovely cuddle with book and then bottle, all lovely until it came to when i have to put him in his cot and he just goes hysterical. he screams 'mama mama' and tonight was so upset i wwas worried he was going to make himself sick. i kept going in every few minutes and lieing him back down but it was just awful. ended up with theo hysterical in his cot and me crying on the stairs outside. i just felt like such a rubbish mum - what mum can't put her own son to bed?:\?
now he's settled, i'm not feeling so dramatic about it and know it's nothing about me being a bad mum, but i hate to think he was so upset going to sleep, it can't led to a peaceful nights sleep can it? so i really want to get this sorted - any suggestions gratefully received!
thanks, k x
[Modified by: kateandal on 19 July 2010 22:32:32 ]
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Replies
You might just have to try leaving him a little longer, or when it's the two of you, take it in turns (or probably better randomly) so he doesn't get used to a set pattern of who goes in to settle him. Not an ideal solution and requires a lot of work, but might make life easier for when it is just you.
(P.S. Nothing much worked for us last night. I was dead on my feet anyway so he ended up in bed with us until he fell asleep!)
havent worked out a solution yet but just wanted to let you know that you are most definately not alone
Even if my hubby did her book and put down routine she would start wailing for me within 10 seconds of him leaving the room!
I can't bear to hear her sobbing her heart out so go in on and off every few minutes, but think I may have over done it as now she seems worse than ever and takes a good 45 mins to settle
So sorry, no real suggestions of help here either, just another Mum in suffering!
how is your hubby after his accident? hope he is well on the mend. k x
ok pulling out some brain cells from many moons ago when i did my psych degree (only did one module on child development so has taken some searching in the mush that is called my brain)
what our lo's are going through is seperation anxiety which can come and go throughout the toddler years, typically peaks around 18 months and fades altogether by age 3.
.
Children with separation anxiety can show a range of behaviours because of their unrealistic worries
Refusal to sleep or be alone
Clinginess
Huge tantrums at the thought of or actually being parted from the parent
Refusal to go to school
General disruptive behavior
Physical illness
Claiming that they are sick
Worry that some harm will come to them or their loved ones
12 to 18 months
Early in the second year of life, the adventure of self-discovery truly begins. This is a time of astounding transformation from helplessness to independence. As a result, it's also a period of extreme mood swings and troubling behaviors. But understanding the reasons behind your toddler's actions can help you survive this tumultuous period.
Your toddler's self-awareness turns an important corner at this age. Evidence comes from a famous British study that compared babies under 1 with 21-month-olds. Researchers placed the younger babies in front of a mirror to see whether they understood that the reflection was an image of themselves. They didn't. The babies patted their mirror image, behaving as if they were seeing another baby. And when researchers dabbed red rouge on the babies' noses and plopped them back in front of the mirror, the babies always tried to touch their reflection's nose, not their own.
hope that helps everyone feel a bit better that what is happening is 'normal' despite knowing this though she does do my head when she is super clingy, and knowing that it is just a phase doesnt really help
Me! My OH has had to put Abby to bed the last couple of nights. I put it down to moving but maybe it is partly to do with her age. She is also throwing major tantrums if things aren't completely perfect. I'm just trying to keep calm - it's only short-term, well until they turn into teenagers!
H xx