Don't know what to do - O/T

Vautier · Sep 21, 2010 5:22AM

Sorry to whine yet again ladies, but I don't know who else to 'talk' to about this.

My husband has been signed off work for 4 weeks already due to severe depression, and has today been signed off for another 4 weeks. The doctor says he's getting worse and is sorting out some councelling for him. To make things worse, he is trying to help his cousin through a hard time too (his cousin tried to hang himself last week) so this is the last thing that my hubby should have to dealing with on top of his own problems. I don't know how to help him, I'm no good with words so I alsays end up saying the wrong thing.

As I'm only working p/t now, and hubby is on SSP we now can't afford our rent this month but don't know how to tell our landlord. We have told the council as we get some housing benefit and this may be affected by our reduced income, but until we get my husband's payslip on 1st Oct the council can't recalculate our payments, by which time our rent will be late. We don't have anyone that we can borrow from so I'm really starting to worry about what we're going to do.

So sorry to put such a downer on the day so early on, but I really would appreciate any advice.

Thanks, Vickie

mithical · Sep 21, 2010 5:21AM

I'm so sorry you are all going through this. I do agree hubby has to concentrate on getting himself well, before taking on other people's problems. But obviously he cares about, and is worried about his cousin. Does his cousin have a larger support network? Then hubby could take a small step back, knowing he'd still have support. It is such a difficult situation. Maybe say to your husband you understand he wants to be there for his cousin, but he needs to be a little selfish as he has his own little family to concentrate on getting better for. It's a hard balance between not making him feel guilty for being ill, and him not feeling guilty for potentially not helping his cousin. There are a few lending businesses, a couple on the internet that had a reasonable interest rate, so it could be paid back next month. But don't know if that's a help, as you'd effectively be paying 2 months rent next month plus more. I don't know if there is another, better borrowing option. You could try speaking to the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They might have a solution for the financial side, and chat to your landlord. Hugs. xx

mum2jaynjas · Sep 21, 2010 5:22AM

Aww im really orry things are tough for your family at the moment. we were in a similar situation with rent as a couple of months after we moved in together we had to change tax credits over to a joint claim and i lost 245 pounds a week which was for paying childcare etc. and to top it off tax credits took 7 weeks to sort the claim out. we had to be really honest with the landlord and say what had happened. we really struggled for first 4 months as had to pay rent arrears off ad childcare. i really know what ur going through.
im not going back to work so wont get paid this month and we will prob jsut scrape by.
jsut wanted to say dont panic and right down everything u need topay for in priority order. is there anyway u could skip another bill rather than rent?
also re ur husband is there anyone in the meantime he could talk to about how he is feeling? there are sometimes support groups etc.

hope everything gets better for u soon.
hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Don't know what to do - O/T

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