Fed up :(

GlitterBug09 · Dec 14, 2011 3:45PM

My DD doesnt sleep through the night. She sleeps from 7 until about half 1, feeds, sleeps until 4-4.30, feeds and then sleeps until 5.30 if im lucky before wanting to get up. If I had my way go to bed at 7 to make the most of that first stretch, but my hubby complained that he didnt get to see me when I did that so I stay up until 9ish before falling in to bed knackered. That first four hours of undisturbed sleep is the only thing that is stopping me from going insane, Anyway. Yesterday I went out for dinner with a friend from work. All hubby had to do was entertain our daughter from 4.30 until she went to bed at 7. She is always a bit of a cranky madam in the evenings, so usually I have to bounce her around and entertain her to keep her going. However, last night, despite repeated arguments in the past not to, hubby put her in her carrycot at 5 because she was cranky and she fell asleep. When I got in at 7 he was feeding her whilst she was asleep. He told me that she has slept all evening and he had just woken her for a feed because it was getting late and was almost bedtime. I bit my tongue and didnt say anything but I was annoyed that he hadnt bothered to stick to the routine. Anyway, she took five oz, was very sleepy and went straight to bed - no bath or bum wash which is normally part of the routine. Then she woke at 10.30, 1.30, 3.30 and we were up at 5. Clearly she had her long stretch of sleep at 5-10.30. Im so tired and so fricking annoyed with my hubby. He just put her down because it was easier than entertaining her. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been out without the baby. Yet every saturday I take Phoebe to my mums so that he can have the day to himself to do his planning and get some rest time because he works all week. He also goes to watch the stupid football once a week so he has plenty of time for just him. But when I ask for 2 & 1/2 hours he manages to balls up her entire routine. We have argued because he thinks that I should put her to bed at 5 if that is when she wants to go to bed, but he fails to understand the effect it is having on me when she is up every 3 hours in the night. Friday nights are usually his nights to get up to do the feeds, but I have to wake him up because he doesnt hear Phoebe stir and leaves her until she is screaming before getting up and sorting her so I dont actually end up getting any more sleep. So, tonight I am going to stay at my mums and let him go it alone. Do you think that is mean? I really, really need some sleep. Since the clocks went back Phoebe's sleep patterns have been worse because she gets up an hour earlier than she used to and its taking its toll. He just will not accept that I know what I am talking about when it comes to Phoebe. I know that keeping her up and having an hour or so of cranky time in the evening makes for a more settled baby, but he seems to think that im wrong and trying to control everything. I just want to teach him a lesson, yet feel so bad for doing so.

ZLS23 · Nov 25, 2011 2:56PM

Hi GB, sorry to hear you are feeling fed up and no I don't think you're being mean, you clearly need a break and maybe by going to your mums will make him realise exactly what you do do. You need a routine and he has to learn what that is and support you through it.

Everything probably seem worse because you are tired too, sleep deprivation is just the worst thing ever.

Really hope you get things sorted soon sweetie,

chin up.

Zxx

Shelley5185 · Nov 25, 2011 2:57PM

Honey you poor poor thing x

I think you are dong a fabulous job and admire whole heartedly that you are doing. I think that your hubby needs a good talking to as i know how hard it is to establish a routine and stick to it. You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to teach jim a lesson it sounds like he deserves it!

Try not to be too don as Im sure your Phoebe will sleep through the night soon. Hang in there chick it will get easier

xxx

GlitterBug09 · Nov 28, 2011 2:12PM

Thanks for your words of support - they are much appreciated! Thankfully hubby has seen the light and has offered to do the first feed (providing that it is before midnight on a work night) which has helped a lot! He is currently putting her to bed which is something I usually do so im hoping walking a mile in my shoes (so to speak) will help him to be a little more considerate!

piggypops · Dec 1, 2011 3:11PM

we are pretty much the same and i have a nearly two year old too! DD has never slept through on a good night she'll go down at 7 then up around 10 then around 3 then around 6/7 on a bad night i dont acctually sleep

as i am BF i do it all myself pretty much apart from a night i go to zumba and she has a bottle, hubby is quite good although i do have to remind him sometimes that i am sometimes so on the edge through lack of sleep and that if i am grumpy its for a bloody good reason! after him moaning that i was always tired and him suggesting i go to bed with the children he soon changed his tune when he spent every evening alone! sometimes they just need a reality check as they simply have no idea,

i would suggest he look after her for 24 hours and let him see how hard it is, let him do it his way and he will soon learn that a 5 am wake up is not fun!

MrsP · Dec 14, 2011 3:45PM

Glitterbug I feel for you. Our nights are like that and although hubby is good at appreciating what I do he sometimes winds me up by doing something different or not understanding what I mean etc and I can be quite snappy with him.

The thing is that he doesn't understand that if something is changed at night time then I have to deal with the grumpiness all by myself the next day and when he comes home Matilda always has smiles for him, so I think he doesn't realise how it has been during the day.

On Sunday I had a day of bridesmaid duties so hubby had Tilly for the whole day after she hadn't slept well the night before. I found it funny when he told me how she shouted at him for the whole morning! I feel more valued this week

hope things are going better for you x

Fed up :(

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