am i a bad mum

tracey_1981 · Dec 22, 2008 4:50PM

Not to caitlin, but to Robbie. I never seem to have any energy to do anything any more, no sleep, housework to do and my poor son suffers. Robbie doesnt moan bout it, today he didnt get breakfast until 10, i didnt have energy to move plus caitlin was screaming so i deal with her.

I worried as Robbie's dad my ex has our telephone number n is seeing him soon im worried robbie will tell him he is not happy with me, maybe another reason i gave up bfeeding.

I love Robbie its just he is such hard work, never shuts up, talks bout rubbish n can be cheeky. I used to be able to deal with him, but now i just cant.

Robbie n i didnt bond too well at the start as i struggled helping a druggie boyfriend get clean, giving birth and then his dad stealing and abusing me physically and emotionally.

I love my children so much and im scared that Robbie will hate me or the bond Caitlin a n I have will break.

Does this sound stupid?

Tomorrow I am taking the kids to stay and play whether I am ill or not, just to make an effort.

Over xmas i will try to let Ray be hands on with Caitlin and i take care of Robbie.

Ray and I are arguing a lot of over lack of sleep and me being too ill to motivate myself, I really hope bottle fedding will take some pressure off me, my house is a tip, im still not dressed and i want to cry

I know i always seem so happy but right now i feel likke im not coping with anything sorry to go on. Needed to get it off my chest x thanks for listening xx

karen130770 · Dec 22, 2008 11:43AM

Sweet, if you were a bad mum, you wouldn't be on here asking us if you were!

You're a fab mum, you're just knackered as your health is not brill atm and you are worn out from Caitlin. It's just the way things go sometimes and Robbie will grow up learning that he has got a great mum but she is not superwoman! He'll understand.

I could have written this a few weeks ago, but things have settled down now, I'm getting a bit more sleep and like you, I'm making the most of Reiss not being solely reliant on me at milk times, especially overnight!

I think sometimes that even though we try to escape our mistakes and our pasts, they catch up with us and remind us of what horrible places we've been. This is what's probably really dragging you down, but remember that even though you have to have contact sadly with this man, you are not in the same place and neither is your son. You have done so well getting away from that lifestyle and that's what Robbie needs.

Big hugs to youxx

amylou81 · Dec 22, 2008 1:14PM

no way are you a bad mum! Its hard looking after just Zac so to manage as you do it two you do a great job... i have learnt that along with becoming a mummy comes the 'guilty about everything feeling' but it is so unjustified! Your doing a fab job!
xxx

ItMustBeLove · Dec 22, 2008 2:08PM

Oh love you certainly are not!

You are doing the best job you can't with the skills and energy that you have got!

Nobody love's your son as firecely as you do! you are the best Mummy Robbie can have! You are his! Sometimes we get tired.. & you know what! That's okay! I currently have Charlie bouncying around in his Jumperoo.. not for his benifit but so I can have a few mins to get on here! No I don't feel good about it, but we need to preserve a sence of self too otherwise if we go Ka-Poot!! from exsaustgin (sp) there will be no body to look after anybody!

How about sitting Robbie down & just aknoledging in words what's happening? tell him how impressed you are with him for being such a great big brother? & make a date where it can just be you & him & you do something special together..

Remember love this wont last forever! Things will get easier! & of course your & Ray are going to argue over sleep! you never relise what a vaulable comodity it is untill you can't have it anymore!

You take are of you and the rest will follow! promise! cause if your refreshed and have energy everything will seem so much easier! x

ClaudiaTsoontohave3 · Dec 22, 2008 2:20PM

hey hon, just to say that u needn't worry, u are doing great...although i'm not having health probs like u babe and i dont have Braedon disturbing my sleep, i still feel guilty for neglecting madi sometimes and she does say to me tht i clearly dont love her as much as i love Braedon...i have to sit down with her and explain that thats not the case, i love more than ever but Braedon is so tiny he needs more help and attention because he cant tell me what he needs. she seems to understand this and i also tell her that it wont last forever soon he will be big enough to look aftrer himself a bit more and then i will have more tme for her.

please dont feel bad hon, we all as mummys worry that we aren't doing the right things but we all know how much u love both your kids and what u hhave been thorugh in the past. u have come out a stronger, more loving mummy and Robbie will realise this in time xxxx

hks123 · Dec 22, 2008 4:44PM

hun from what i've read on here you are a great mum, you love both your kids equally and would do anything for them

if i can be as good a mummy as you and the other junie multiples when i have another i will be very happy!!

Rebecca_and_Riley · Dec 22, 2008 4:50PM

Of course you're not a bad mum hun, you are a fab mum who is coping with being unwell as well as no sleep! I'm sure everyone feels guilty about dividing themselves between their children, this is the one thing i'm not looking forward to trying to do when we have another, but you seem to be doing it very well. With the brekky thing, i'm sure he'd have been very verbal about it if he'd have wanted it sooner. Give yourself a break hun, you're doing a great job. xxx

am i a bad mum

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