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Need a little whinge
I know you ladies don't mind, i just need to get some crap of my chest and thought id unload here!
Firstly im so tired of people asking me if Max is sleeping through yet, i know people are just making polite conversation but i feel like im doing something wrong when i tell people he's nowhere near. This then leads to the person advising me to top him up with formula and when i say he wont take a bottle i get a barrage of further advice on teats, leaving the room while oh does it, letting him starve until he takes it bla bla bla.
My friend called yesterday and the converstaion soon got around to it again, i was so fed up i told her straight 'what kind of mother would i be if i was happy to let my baby get hysterical for nights on end so that he would take a bottle and i could go out for the night?!' Her reply 'one who cared'. I've no idea what she meant by this but it really hurt.
Most women fight to bf and im suposed to now fight to bottle feed after Max made bfing so easy for me?! Id' love it if he could drink from a bottle and i'd happily give him a ff but he was SO upset when we tried and i don't want to see him like that.
Then today we went out for lunch with friends. My friends baby is so placid, just like his daddy. Max is a fiesty, strong willed little fella. We went round the shops first and Max was so excited by all the people, lights and music-i could see he was getting wired up. He wouldn't nod off so went from 7am until 1pm without a sleep. By the time we got to the pub for lunch he was so overstimulated he wouldn't feed. I was back and to from the baby room (too self consious to feed in public) that my food went cold, Max went hysterical and we had to cut the whole thing short.
We were both in tears by the time we got to the car, i just felt like a crappy mum. The other baby was so well behaved, i know Max isn't being naughty, he's my little angel but i just felt rubbish for not being able to get him to sleep, eat or stop crying!!
There, that's better, just having a bad day .
Tell you what did make me laugh-we went to see the vicar first thing about Max's cristening and he farted in the rectory!!(Max not the vicar!) He's now farted on a man of the cloth, pooed on a paediatrician and weed on a gp, that's pretty impressive stuff!xx
Firstly im so tired of people asking me if Max is sleeping through yet, i know people are just making polite conversation but i feel like im doing something wrong when i tell people he's nowhere near. This then leads to the person advising me to top him up with formula and when i say he wont take a bottle i get a barrage of further advice on teats, leaving the room while oh does it, letting him starve until he takes it bla bla bla.
My friend called yesterday and the converstaion soon got around to it again, i was so fed up i told her straight 'what kind of mother would i be if i was happy to let my baby get hysterical for nights on end so that he would take a bottle and i could go out for the night?!' Her reply 'one who cared'. I've no idea what she meant by this but it really hurt.
Most women fight to bf and im suposed to now fight to bottle feed after Max made bfing so easy for me?! Id' love it if he could drink from a bottle and i'd happily give him a ff but he was SO upset when we tried and i don't want to see him like that.
Then today we went out for lunch with friends. My friends baby is so placid, just like his daddy. Max is a fiesty, strong willed little fella. We went round the shops first and Max was so excited by all the people, lights and music-i could see he was getting wired up. He wouldn't nod off so went from 7am until 1pm without a sleep. By the time we got to the pub for lunch he was so overstimulated he wouldn't feed. I was back and to from the baby room (too self consious to feed in public) that my food went cold, Max went hysterical and we had to cut the whole thing short.
We were both in tears by the time we got to the car, i just felt like a crappy mum. The other baby was so well behaved, i know Max isn't being naughty, he's my little angel but i just felt rubbish for not being able to get him to sleep, eat or stop crying!!
There, that's better, just having a bad day .
Tell you what did make me laugh-we went to see the vicar first thing about Max's cristening and he farted in the rectory!!(Max not the vicar!) He's now farted on a man of the cloth, pooed on a paediatrician and weed on a gp, that's pretty impressive stuff!xx
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Replies
I was just thinking of you actually and was going to post to ask if Max got over his hiccup and has gone back to sleeping for up to six hours a night. I hope he isn't getting you up too often. As for those people who are telling you to top him up, tell 'em to butt out! I know of at least one person whose son is now entirely formula fed and still gets her up two to three times a night. So ff'ing may have no effect at all.
As for the bottles, my siblings and I were all bf'd until we were weaned on to cups. In fact, my mother was quite shocked that I decided to make sure that Peter would take a bottle from six weeks. As long as you can handle it, you are doing the best job you can of nurturing you son. Hold your head up with pride, girl! I couldn't manage without the promise of a night out next week or the evening off when my husband feeds Peter. You are doing a fabulous job!
And I do sympathise with you over the overstimulation problem. Peter is NOT a placid baby. He loves people and new places and faces. He is quite solemn, which makes people think he is calmer than he is but he never seems to stop! He has howled in restaurants, on buses and I am sure he is going to howl on the train when we go to London this weekend. It is heart breaking, but we are not bad mothers, we just have intelligent, curious sons. They will run us off our feet for the rest of our lives, I imagine, but oh, they will be worth every grey hair they give us.
As I say, I hope you are feeling better now you have got everything off your chest. Take care of yourself, hun, as well as Max. x
I kinda replied in my 'Failure' post on Baby... I just think that too many people are allowed to butt in and give their opinions, none of this is easy!
I would say that I do have an easygoing, placid little girl, for which I am very grateful, but I REALLY dearly wish that I could have been doing what you girls are doing! I beat myself up frequently about the fact that I couldn't breastfeed - it was a physical thing, possibly because of my pregnancy medication, but it was also an emotional thing.. I just couldn't cope with any more battles after my pregnancy and gave in very quickly, possibly too quickly...
Anyway, I'm going on again, just want you girls to know that I think you are brill because you are persevering with it all and one day they will sleep through beautifully - that'll probably be the day that Daisy stops (and I know it will happen!)
C xxxxxxxxxxx
This whole 'is your baby sleeping' I think is a way for people to show off! every child is sooooooooooo different and what one will be good at another will be bad out. Thats the way it goes. Just smile and take on the advice and then throw lots of tips back to them!!! LOL.
I think you are brilliant! xxxx
i tried to express but can only get 2oz out at a time so gotta build up a supply as i dont know how much she actually takes! I am very lucky thou in that she does sleep thru from 9pm ish till 5am..not sure why but do count my lucky stars!
As for lunch...pls dont stress think about how much he was learning and taking in whilst he was awake..he would of missed all that if he was sleeping ;\)
I agree Mrs buttons ppl do butt in and give their opinions..it dont matter what we do someone will always of done it better or done it another way..we can only do what we as their mums think and ultimately know is best for our babies!! and they can all just butt out!
He's currently upstairs fighting his nap even though he's clearly tired-thankfully ive got hubbie here this week so he's upstairs 'shhhing' him and im relaxing down here-ha ha!!x
Keep doing what your doing, I'm sure max is thriving. Amelia is an angel at home but as soon out and about she's so nosey and wants to be involved in everything then she gets overtired and screams so loud - Bit like a cat being strangled. She also doesn't feed properly when we're out which makes her worse. I'd rather have a nosey little monkey as she is learning all the time rather than a baby that sleeps all the time.
My mum tells me its good for babies to exercise their lungs!!!
As for night feeds, max will decide when he wants to sleep through, my friends little girl is 2 and very rarely sleeps through!!
Hope your feeling better xx
How's Peter doing?x
How's Peter doing?x
Glad to hear Max is having good nights. Hope you get lots more of them.
Peter is currently waking up at midnight and 4 every night, then between 7 and 8 in the morning. I thought that his jabs would upset the pattern last night, but it doesn't seem to have made a difference. We are away this weekend and next which is going to muck up his routine, so we could be in for some long nights but I'm trying not to borrow trouble.
And I completely sympathise with the lack of attention while feeding. I can't even look at Peter now as he just latches off and grins at me!
Whether he takes a bottle or not will seem so irrelevant in no time at all. Angelo wouldn't have a bottle and now at 22 months drinks brilliantly from an open cup..I'm so proud and wonder what I ever worried about.
Had to laugh at the poo thing! Last week Nina pooed on our friend. It shot straight out the side of her nappy onto his hand..oh how we laughed! x
I need to give Freya a bath but wanted to post you a note first. Firstly, you are doing fantastically by still breast feeding. I think so many of our parents generation arent' understanding because it just wasn't really the done thing then...and so many people have the 'if it's okay for me, it should be okay for you' attitude. Freya did take a bottle,..initially, and hten she started to refuse it. And she would scream and scream and work herself into such a state (we tried over about three evenings). And then we gave up. As you say, you just can't torture your baby like that. I'm sorry to say it, but I think it is shocking that your friend suggested you might not be a good mum for not giving a bottle. Either she doesn't have kids and doesn't have a clue, or she is somehow jealous. Either way, it is unbelievably unsupportive of a new mum who is doing a fabulous job.
On the sleep front, Freya is all over the place. Some nights it is every three hours, and once, shemanaged the WHOLE night. Babies are just so different. And, if Max is more of a night waker (which is totally normal), then you should be so proud of yourself because it is so hard for you to deal with! He will sleep through the night, and I'm so sure it is nothing to do with what you are doing but the fact that he is young and just needs the food.
SInce freya won't take a bottle, we are going to try her with a cup soonish. I think that they actually suggest you wean babies off bottles at around months, and you can get bottles for babies as young as 4 months. That way, you might be able to keep breastfeeding for as long as you want and still get your nights out occasionally.
One last thing, have you ever seen the list that the NCT do about the benefits of breastfeeding at different ages - I love looking at that because it makes me feel proud when I'm tired and finding it hard.
And, one last little point - I have total respect for those who tried breastfeeding and didn't manage it. It was hideoulsly hard and I think it was luck that we got the right support that we managed it.
Hugs,
Ally x
Enjoy your little curious explorer - all that interest is the sign of an intelligent little boy
ally x
http://www.tommeetippee.co.uk/explora/cups-first-sips.php