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just need a moan
Hello,
am feeling a bit down and just wanted a moan. As some of you might remember, I had a foster son living with me who I had looked after for 4 years. He was well and truly one of the family. To cut a long story short, his social worker decided he was going to be a danger to our baby (based on no evidence whatsoever) and took him from us.(we have since been told that he was removed because it was cheaper to have him where he is now which makes us REALLY mad). The last time we saw him was the day after Ella was born but none of us knew this would be our last time.
We miss him so much and feel like we are grieving the loss of a child. It doesn't help that we know he is really struggling where he is and is very confused (he's only 8). The whole thing is just so cruel and unfair. Just can't believe that the people who are supposed to be looking out for him are the ones that are causing all his suffering. I now feel guilty because I love Ella to bits but am missing our wee man so much. I almost feel like I shouldn't be allowed to be happy when he is so upset. I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to change things but I can't help it. Everybody keeps telling me it will get easier but I just wish he was still here.
I know there's nothing anyone can do to help but really needed to get this out. We will tell Ella all about her 'big brother' when she's big enough. People are scared to mention his name incase it upsets us but this is worse to me. I want to talk about him but I think it's too weird for other people.
Sorry for the rant.
xx
am feeling a bit down and just wanted a moan. As some of you might remember, I had a foster son living with me who I had looked after for 4 years. He was well and truly one of the family. To cut a long story short, his social worker decided he was going to be a danger to our baby (based on no evidence whatsoever) and took him from us.(we have since been told that he was removed because it was cheaper to have him where he is now which makes us REALLY mad). The last time we saw him was the day after Ella was born but none of us knew this would be our last time.
We miss him so much and feel like we are grieving the loss of a child. It doesn't help that we know he is really struggling where he is and is very confused (he's only 8). The whole thing is just so cruel and unfair. Just can't believe that the people who are supposed to be looking out for him are the ones that are causing all his suffering. I now feel guilty because I love Ella to bits but am missing our wee man so much. I almost feel like I shouldn't be allowed to be happy when he is so upset. I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to change things but I can't help it. Everybody keeps telling me it will get easier but I just wish he was still here.
I know there's nothing anyone can do to help but really needed to get this out. We will tell Ella all about her 'big brother' when she's big enough. People are scared to mention his name incase it upsets us but this is worse to me. I want to talk about him but I think it's too weird for other people.
Sorry for the rant.
xx
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Replies
xx
we haven't had any contact yet and it's unlikey we will. The longer it goes on, the harder it is for him and we don't want to do anything that will make it worse for him. Hopefully we will still be able to write to him at least and he will know we are still thinking about him.
[Modified by: shons on September 24, 2009 03:02 PM]
[Modified by: shons on September 24, 2009 03:03 PM]
Poor mite, surley the stability of you/your family and your home would be a good thing for him (obviously cost are more important to the Government than the happiness and well being of foster kids/parents) They're always crying out for foster parents, this must put you off doing it in the future?
I don't have any advice really, but we're here to listen to you moan.xx
Louise and baby Emily x
I really think that you not contacting him is one of the most wonderfully selfless things I've ever heard. You are putting his future in front of your own needs, in fact youre being a mum. Keep strong missus and all I can offer is tons of hugs to youxxxxxx
xxx