Who needs enemies when you have NCT classes? :cry:

sabbath_cat_and_kitten · Mar 26, 2011 6:53PM

The lads in the class all planned to go out for drinkies tonight, husband invited. Turns out all the ladies are going to an aquanatal class at the same time, but no invite for me

.

Really upset, didn't make it into work today was crying all the way home last night. I've been super nice and put ultra-smiles on but I must just come off as really insecure or irritating. After losing my only local close friend because I'm pregnant I feel totally gutted and don't want to go back despite the classes being really informative and helpful.

I don't think I have the strength to just go along as two of the ladies (one I think runs it) give me the cold shoulder sometimes, hubby doesn't mind not going for a drink as all the lads chat about is football and he hates football.

Sorry to vent, but I can't believe how these two have treated me and I have no idea why or what to do, I shouldn't care but I really wanted a local bump buddy as I'm such a worrier plus the thought of 24/7 baby for 9 months scares me!

Rach46 · Mar 23, 2011 12:47PM

Ah hun that's terrible!

TBH though you don't want friends like that. Are there any other groups you can join that you might make friends at. Our NCT do a bumps and babes cafe twice a month, maybe try that? Or how about pre-natal yoga or pilates? I've started to make friends through them.... Or you can join a mother and baby group once bub is born. Like you I know noone in my area so I'm on a friends mission at the mo!!

Don't let them get you down hun, they're really not worth it. Your DH should go along and say something to the lads to shame them. men are always very critical when women are like that I find. Take heart in the fact they'll all make horrible mothers as they obviously don't have a nice bone in their body!!

R x

sabbath_cat_and_kitten · Mar 23, 2011 1:25PM

Thanks ladies

it is really nasty I shouldn't let them bring me down nasty cows :x

I'm finding it really hard to find things on-line and no idea where else to look and no time to, I'm still working full-time.

I think I'll also email the NCT, see if there's another class or another group like a bumps and babes cafe, wish me luck!

Moominmummy · Mar 23, 2011 1:40PM

Oh you poor thing

Are you sure it wasn't a mistake, like everyone assumed someone else had told you? I would send my husband out to find out! If they really just didn't invite you that is just awful and you definitely dont want friends like that!

If it's any consolation, I moved to a totally new area when my son was 5 weeks so I missed out on all the ante-natal stuff in my area. I have made a group of friends though through just going to loads of stuff - post natal group at my surgery was the best one, they gave us a list of everyone there with emails so I emailed everyone about meeting up after. The first few times nobody could do, but a few said would love to meet up another time so I persevered. I Also go to things like rhyme time at the library, monkey music, nct play things (bumps and babes when he was young, now jack and jill play), church hall toddler groups, etc. It's difficult to be bold but if you make an effort you often find there's loads of other people out there who are searching for new friends as most first time Mums dont have a network around them already, either their friends are working or their children are a different age so don't do that much together. Hang in there xxx

-Bliss- · Mar 23, 2011 2:44PM

Thats horrible! Are you sure there wasn't a mix up about who was inviting you?! If not then that is really mean!! You definitely don't want friends like those!

Do you have hospital antenatal classes? I made better friends through those classes rather than the NCT ones in my first pregnancy. I did both, only had 4 NHS ones and we all took a list of eachother's numbers and met up with mums who wanted to when the classes finished.

You will meet some nice friends if you go to lots of groups when baby is here! xx

lucyah · Mar 23, 2011 3:24PM

sounds to me like ur better off not being friends with those snobby cows! ull find true mummy friends elsewhere chick, dont you worry.

beaniesmum-46199 · Mar 23, 2011 3:54PM

Oh thats horrid, its not nice feeling lonely. I met some ladies through the local NHS run classes when I was pregnant first time round, the classes are crap but I found that the same ladies would be at baby clinic & the post natal group both run by the health visitors & I still see a couple of them now 3 years on. I found that the health visitors are a gold mine for information for local bumps & babies groups so even if you don't make any new mummy friends now I'm sure you'll start connecting with people afterwards.

Its all really very petty & playground like. I find an awful lot of cliquey groups of mummys around. Playschool was my particular gripe. In the first year that my son attended I didn't really know anyone, they would always be polite enough to say hello but that was it, on a particular day trip out I was even told by one of them that 'these things are so much better when there are a group of you', nice. :? I do know a few more people now. You will find that you want to go out to a few different groups once your baby starts taking an interest in things & honestly not everybody will be so stuck up. Big hugs xxx

MaddyW · Mar 24, 2011 4:44AM

God thats awful! Maybe there was a mix up?! I find it outrageous to believe that they would invite your hubby for a lads night out and not you when they know you would have found out? If they did, then thats really mean and you are better off without them, but totally understandable how that would be so hurtful.

I would definitely contact the NCT organisers and let them know what you think, especially if your course leader is not particularly nice or involving. Thats a main part of their job!!!

xxxxxx

Rach46 · Mar 24, 2011 6:48AM

HI hun,

I just got this local NCT newslatter which had so many different groups in it. I would contact your local branch and ask what there is going on. I'm also going to a la leche meeting as i want to breast feed and apparently they're quite sociable.

maybe check mumsnet in your area too and see if there are any meet-ups on there?

I've just signed up for everything; nct bumps and babes, Le leche, yoga, pilates, baby first aid, hypnobirthing, those crazy post-natal exercise in the park things and my local church mum and baby group. I figure out of all those things I'll meet some nice people as I currently know noone in town except my hubby!!

Good luck and honestly don't let themget to you!

R x

Picklesx · Mar 24, 2011 8:05AM

Women can be so mean sometimes, that is really horrible and very low of them. I had a similar experience with my antenatal classes when I was expecting Abby.

Have you joined netmums? Your local board will have a meet a mum section where you can meet mums in your area and will also advertise all the local baby and toddler groups.

Also you could do a couple of extra classes like a baby massage class when baby is born, thats always a good way to meet new people.

xx

Lambchop80 · Mar 24, 2011 12:59PM

I really feel for you, I found out my NHS class from having Charlotte all met up but I wasn't invited. Think I'd annoyed them by getting the first class cancelled when I passed out & had a fit during the ice breaker! Lol

I never really got involved in groups when I had Charlotte & regretted it, now I'm doing more and have met more people which I hope will turn to friendship.

Persevere hunni, don't let mean people ruin it. Xxx

wonderwoman40 · Mar 24, 2011 3:13PM

Oh hun, mean bitches, It makes me so mad when people are mean and horrid, I have just finished NCT classes and everyone was lovely, we all had lunch after last class, but noone has organised anything yet to meet up(or maybe Im not invited ha ha) but I am gonna try swimming and yoga and mum n baby groups, basically just anything to make friends and build a network as Im new to area we live in too. Please perservere and Im sure we will meet nice people who want to do lots of things...big hug xxx

sabbath_cat_and_kitten · Mar 24, 2011 5:03PM

Hiya,thanks for the sympathies ladies, one of the mums contacted me about 8:15pm saying she wasn't going to Aquanatal either and if I was up for a drink!! She'd contacted eveyrone else but it was just us, but it was GREAT 8) nattered for ages and it was great to exchange stories and share a non-alcoholic drink

! Hopefully some of the nicer(but quieter!) ladies will come out or invite me to the class, either way it was nice to feel like I'm not a social leper

. I would prefer to chill tho than go to a class, work is EXHAUSTING atm!

I'm finding it incredibly hard in Colchester, there is literally nothing!! No Maternity clothing on shops too, very strange. Just been on netmums,it was hopeful, but the meet-up is Friday at 10am and I work

it didn't look promising as the group was teeny and it's only just up and running and the first meet was cancelled due to illness!

Been on Mumsnet, no yoga, no pilates only the aquabump.... Will talk to MW about the NHS classes and cross my fingers! I know there are some mum+baby classes, methinks I shall hit them with a vengeance lols!

I shall not be defeated! Many thanks for the boost everyone, DH didn't go because tbh he doesn't really like the guys in the class as all they talk about is football and he's not a fan. And he was with all of you if they're going to be that bitchy, src**w 'em!

PS. Oh Lambchop+Peanut that sucks that wasn't your fault!! Cows are everywhere aren't they?!

mowani · Mar 24, 2011 8:01PM

Aww hun sounds like you are better off away from that group! I've never done NCT myself but have heard from a lot of friends that it can be really cliquey... There are plenty of Mum's groups about you could go to instead.. And I don't live that far from you

So if you ever fancied meeting up let me know!!!

Smudgetake2 · Mar 25, 2011 4:14PM

Boo! That is such a shame. My NCT class are lovely. Maybe try asking if you can join another group. There are at least two groups at the same venue as us just all different teachers. Maybe you just got a bad mix of people. Hope it works out.

sabbath_cat_and_kitten · Mar 25, 2011 5:02PM

Hi MrsEH__mini_mulberry, there isn't I looked on the class list on the site

Colchester is truly pathetic for antenatal stuff!!

Hi Mowani where are you then? I haven't found any, I bet they are all hiding from me lols

you can pm if you want I'm just totally putting up a "help me" flag lols!! Far too bored sitting on my bottom I'm terrible with staying still, not good when all I wanna do atm is nap

MrsP · Mar 25, 2011 5:18PM

G/C Just to say that in our local libraries they have folders with lists of all sorts of local groups (not just mum/babies) and that might interesting for you to meet some more people?

Also - glad that one of the ladies suggested a drink instead!

sabbath_cat_and_kitten · Mar 25, 2011 5:24PM

Thanks MrsPwithpud she was my self-confidence saviour lols!! I'll check out my library and see what I unearth, I'm rubbish at looking around the internet is usually so easy

wonderwoman40 · Mar 26, 2011 5:02AM

Hi SC Im not too far away either, so drop me a line if you wanna meet up and we can all get coffee or something...I finish work next week woo hoo xx

mowani · Mar 26, 2011 9:29AM

Have PM'd both Sabbath Cat and Wonderwoman about maybe meeting up

I think I'm not too far from either of you so maybe we can arrange a get together if you ladies fancy it? Couldn't work out how to send you both a message at the same time so have had to send them separately! I have only got 2 more weeks at work- hurrah!!!!

wonderwoman40 · Mar 26, 2011 2:33PM

Just replied to you Mowani, would be nice to catch up when we all finished any excuse for cake

xx

Who needs enemies when you have NCT classes? :cry:

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