To tell or not to tell....

kate0311 · Sep 22, 2011 4:44AM

Aargh, I'm in such a dilemma whether to start telling people I'm pregnat or wait until 12 week scan. At the moment no-one knows apart from my husband and the instructors of the fitness classes I do.

One of my friends has just announced she is pregnant and due within days of me. I also have other pregnant friends at work and want to tell them, and want to tell our family. But once you tell one person then word gradually gets around!

So I can't decide whether to tell people now or will they all think "Ooh, that is early to be telling people" (I'm 6 weeks)

The thing is, if anything went wrong I would want people to know what had happened to me anyway.

Oh the dilemma!!

PalePinkRoses · Sep 21, 2011 11:35AM

We've told our parents and sisters and brothers-in-law, I've told one person at work because I sit opposite her and she would guess anyway! I also feel I need her support when I'm feeling sick. I'm planning on telling my immediate boss unoffically next week as I have my MW appointment on 28th so will need time off for that, I will tell work officially after my 12 week scan. I have also told my best friend because I know she'll keep my secret and I just had to share with her

I think it depends on you and your hubby and who you feel comfortable telling

pudding77 · Sep 22, 2011 2:15AM

Hey Kate,

I've told a few people that I'm pg and those are the people I would go to for support if something did go wrong. I'm going to wait till after my 12weeks to tell everyone as I don't like the idea of having to ring round to tell people the bad news if the worst happens.

I also like the fact that my OH and only our closest friends and family know the secret, it makes it more special xx

lec299 · Sep 22, 2011 3:40AM

Sorry to gatecrash, but I just wanted to say that I also wondered about this. I read a post on this forum that said to ask yourself about what kind of person you were - do you like to keep things private if something goes wrong? Or would you prefer everyone to know so they could support you?

I originally thought I was the latter, but when I actually thought about it, I realised that I would hate it if friends / family were worried about me / feeling awkward whenever there was a baby around. So I decided to tell only a few family members (mum and dad, MIL and FIL, and my sister) and my closest friends (told three currently and will be telling two more just before 12 weeks on Friday). I'm really pleased I didn't say anything, as I am so excited about revealing the big surprise when I've had the 12 week scan and tests (got to wait til 13 weeks and time is going very slowly!)

The other thing to consider is what you would do if you found out there was a problem with the baby? We're having the downs test, as I just don't think I would be a strong enough person to cope with that (have so much admiration for those that do). I don't think I'd want everyone to know what had happened if the worst came to the worst.

It's such a personal thing, I hope i have helped a bit. Oh and massive congrats too!! xxx

kate0311 · Sep 22, 2011 4:12AM

Thanks folks, that helps. Think I will try and keep it in but may confide in one trustworthy person at work in case i faint or anything

loops26 · Sep 22, 2011 4:22AM

Hi, sorry g/c from due in march, i had some spotting very early on in my pregnancy so was expecting the worst but we still told imidiate family (mum/dad/mil/fil/bil/sil) and also my best friend as if the worst was to happen i would need them there for me. I told my manager at work when i was 9 weeks but we have a really good friendship anyway not just a working one and so i knew she would be there for me at work if anything went wrong and also if i needed time off, gradually towards my 12 week scan a few people started guessing (i started to show quite early) and i felt safe to share the good news with them by then but it is one of the best things after 12 weeks showing all your other friends and family your scan and sharing your good news

rosemary20 · Sep 22, 2011 4:44AM

gatecrash from due in march.

if you want to tell people, do it. There's really no curse on pregnant women who do tell, I told most people at 6 weeks and just went completely public after our scan on tuesday.

if you would want the support from the people u would tell then theres no reason not to, family, friends etc.

u could ask them to keep it confidential?

i know many people keep it a secret till 12 weeks but for me those 3 months are tough and i enjoy having supprt.

To tell or not to tell....

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