🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Options
anyone else feel like they're doing this alone ?
Hi ladies
is probably just the mood i'm in and lack of sleep but I feel at the moment i'm doing everything on my own with tyler. my OH is back in work so i'm doing all the night shifts downstairs whilst he is upstairs in bed, then he's in work during the day and sometimes nights aswell. On his days off he's working on the house building an extension and basically doing loads of running around. I know its selfish of me to feel like this as he's doing loads to make the house better and he does all the cleaning so all i have to do is look after the baby, but i want him to look after him aswell to bond with him and for me to have a break once in a while. we have had many arguements about it which is much worse when i haven't slept for 3 days.
just having a bad day...... also night from hell last night, oh was on nights and i thought i would try tyler in our room in the moses basket where he is supposed to be and he hated it so i was up all night.
is probably just the mood i'm in and lack of sleep but I feel at the moment i'm doing everything on my own with tyler. my OH is back in work so i'm doing all the night shifts downstairs whilst he is upstairs in bed, then he's in work during the day and sometimes nights aswell. On his days off he's working on the house building an extension and basically doing loads of running around. I know its selfish of me to feel like this as he's doing loads to make the house better and he does all the cleaning so all i have to do is look after the baby, but i want him to look after him aswell to bond with him and for me to have a break once in a while. we have had many arguements about it which is much worse when i haven't slept for 3 days.
just having a bad day...... also night from hell last night, oh was on nights and i thought i would try tyler in our room in the moses basket where he is supposed to be and he hated it so i was up all night.
0
Replies
Sorry you're feeling like this, I feel very much the same. OH finds it difficult comforting baby as I BF and he works so sleeps downstairs which I hate as it makes me feel like our old life has disappeared! He does lates too and then as soon as he gets in on those days he eats and then has to sleep.
WHen he is off it does give me the chance to leave her for a while to get a bath or do some housework but its me 99% of the time. OH off for 2 weeks now so planning on getting him more involved as Im worried about the lack of bonding between them, saying that though he's just not a baby person and has always been very open about it and I know he'll be great when she's older and he can relate a bit better. I miss my old life so much but also love my baby so much and I know things will get easier in time.
If I could have a nights sleep I think I'd be in heaven, Ive got the hairdressers on Mon and he'll have to cope for 3 hrs on his own, cant wait! (cancelled it once but not this time!!)
Hope you feel better soon, Im still very up and down, having an up day today just curled my hair and put some make-up on as we are going out to the in-laws and Im actually excited to be going out even though its just a family get together xx
Inka xxx
sarah
I was spoilt and had OH at home with us for almost 5 weeks when Freddie arrived and he did loads (I'm v v lucky I know) - to the extent where I broke down in tears one day and said all I was to Freddie was a boob cos that's all he came to me for. I couldn't even cuddle him cos all he wanted was milk. Thankfully we're over that now and I enjoy loads of non milk related cuddles with our little man.
But I do feel like I've been thrown in at the deep end, I've very little confidence in how to be Freddie's mummy cos OH has been here to look after both of us. Now he's back at work - 12 hour shifts and an hours drive there and back so I don't expect him to take over when he comes in but it comes as a proper shock to have to do everything day and night . And as for trying to keep Freddie quiet in the night it results in me getting no sleep while they have snoring competitions!!!
Even getting on my own nerves ringing him all the time asking his advice constantly grrrr
I hope you have a better night tonight hun
:roll: I sound like a right moanin moo - sorry
Welsh xx
[Modified by: welshka on December 19, 2009 05:51 PM]
Rather than hand Brody over to my hubby I do it in a way that I allow "daddy time" when he gets in, which is bath time and massage, dressing and evening nappies and burping after feeds. This gives me a chance to get other things done, or just have a moment to myself. Can you try a different tact with him?
xx
I feel awful saying it but I think my o/h may be a bit huffed about how well i am coping.
Before Sophie arrived, I had no confidence at all and was really worried about how I would cope. Although I have 5 nieces and a nephew, I was not a maternal person at all. I had given bottles, but never in my life changed a nappy or looked after the kids alone. O/h was so confident as he had done a lot with his nieces when they were little, and he was full of "i'll show you what to do"...etc.
At the start on his two weeks off, o/h was really good and did loads with Sophie as well as helping me. Labour really took it out of me, as I had loads of stitches and lost loads of blood.
We agreed that I would do the night feeds as o/h has epilepsy and so needs a regular sleep pattern, as this is what triggers things especially if he gets too tired. Although I would LOVE a full nights sleep, Sophie only gets up once during the night and I can kinda cope as we dont have to be up at a particular time.
Since o/h went back to work he hardly does anything with Sophie or in the house. He will give her a bottle and comfort her if she cries etc. But I have asked him a few times to put Sophie in the bath, change her nappy, get her ready etc and he just says "you do it, I've been at work all day". I am sick of saying "yeah but my job is 24/7 and I dont get any time off". I think he thinks I sit here all day and do NOTHING!!! :x
This morning I asked if he would top and tail Sophie and get her ready. The response was "I dont know where her things are", to which I replied "well you better learn". He is now off work until 4 January so I am determined he will be helping out. I felt really petty but we were at his mums tonight and I told her he didnt do anything, she got really annoyed at him. He normally listens to his mum so this may well change things. Fingers crossed.
Sorry for whingeing girls. I so know how you feel although not on the b/f front which I guess is a major part of things for you guys.
Nici xxx
I dont breastfeed either, well last night wasn't too bad. my mum came up and he would not settle for her either so its not just me, after 2 bottles of hungry baby milk (greedy boy) he finally settled at 11, then he was back up at 1, 3.30, 5 and then 7. mum thinks as he sleeps alot during the day he's not getting all his milk so is then hungry all night, so will try and get more milk down him today, also he's 4 weeks today so am trying him on gripe water for his wind. have noticed he's starting to have his own little routine in the day so maybe in a few weeks things will be easier. either that or i will start looking like something from a horror film.
On a slightly sour note, hubs came in from work this morning, held him whilst i went to the loo and then said 'oh well i have to crack on' and handed him back to me !!!!!!!! Have only just managed to get out of my pj's, take my tablets and have breakfast !!
sarah