OH doesn't approve of bf

evab1 · Dec 18, 2009 4:24PM

I had this problem last time but getting into same arguments again. Hubby can't understand why I want to bf full time and on demand. He hates that it isn't totally conducive to a routine and therefore less likely to make baby sleep all night from this early stage. Also thinks I overfeed him! :x And then says its my fault if baby is sick which has only been twice in four weeks ( proper sick that is). So much like last time and made me upset. I'd forgotten this recurring argument but it has popped up again and I can't cope with ten months of torture and being told of for doing something good for my baby. Is it a man thing?!? Sorry just wanted to see what everyone else was experiencing re bf $:\$ ? x

daves_friend · Dec 16, 2009 7:05PM

Sorry to read this hun, and don't want to rub your nose in but OH actively encouraged me to BF and when it was all going wrong with not latching on and then the reflux problems it's him that's made me stick at it. If it wasn't for him I'd have given up on day 2.
I'd love a routine but accept we won't be having much of one if I continue to BF. On a good day I aim to BF for 6 months - other days I say I'll give it one more day. OH also isn't too bothered about routine ... where I'd like to start a bedtime routine - he works shifts so I'm home alone a lot, and I guess selfishly it would be easier for me if Freddie had a routine that we could stick to.
We've talked about me expressing so he can give Freddie a night time feed (when he's not at work) to give me a break and to feel more involved but as yet we haven't tried it. Could you express so he could do a feed before bed then you know how much Zach is having and whether it affects the length of time he sleeps for?

Sorry - that's not a lot of help really ...

Welsh x

[Modified by: welshka on December 16, 2009 11:06 PM]

[Modified by: welshka on December 16, 2009 11:07 PM]

[Modified by: welshka on December 16, 2009 11:07 PM]

EmilyB · Dec 16, 2009 8:23PM

Does he realise ff babies aren't exactly guaranteed to sleep through the night either? It's not as though formula is a magic cure to make babies sleep, it just doesn't work that way! I'm so sorry he's not being supportive. Is it worth trying to get your health visitor or a breast feeding councillor to help you talk to him about it? As for baby eating too much, they get a lot more from breast milk than they take from formula, which is why their poo is yellow i think. Something to do with the mother's milk being tailored to the baby's needs.

Em + Jak x x x

summer_76 · Dec 17, 2009 9:00AM

sorry its not detailed but tell your other half to call me and i will explain how much sleep i didnt get last night and toby has been bottle feed almost from birth - what a wally!

Hope that it settles down soon - but you are def doing what is best - i would love to bf but milk never came in x

evab1 · Dec 17, 2009 4:14PM

Thanks ladies. I don't let him make me stop as I would feel incredibly guilty if i did. I love bf actually. Will be going for the year if Zach wants to bf that long. Just hate to argue over something stupid that is best for baby. Wish he was like yours in this respect welshka. He sounds like a great support. Thanks summer - I know thats the case but most of my friends have bottle fed and theirs all sleep all the time which seems to support his argument so should put him on to you to prove it's not true

I think it's the fact that baby is sick that makes him think he's being overfed but i'm sure this happens anyway no matter what kind of feeding. I'll persevere and he'll have to put up with it.

I'm sure part of it is boob envy

x

mummabear-72331 · Dec 17, 2009 4:48PM

I understand where youre coming from!! I don't know how many times I have told hubby to back off, or how many tears have been shed over this the past 4 weeks. He wants to share in the feeding - I do give him the burping and cuddles afterwards, and the bathing as well. He says though that I should have a break from it and that's his reasoning. I don't believe it and the pressure from him really upsets me.

I have decided today, and started tonight, to top up with ff as a temporary measure. Only because I realise that my milk supply is too low and Brody is not getting enough so I need to do this until I get my milk supply to increase over the next few days. Also I wanted to introduce a bottle this week to make sure he won't reject it down the line for the times I do need to express and leave the feed for him. So I expressed tonight (to see how much I actually have) and hubby gave this to him in a bottle, then he fed him ff to make up the rest. I can tell hubby was really happy about it... but he needn't get used to it!!

He better not use this to get on my case more or I will clobber him. My hormones never raged during pregnancy but right now they are so he really shouldnt dare cross me!!

Summer .. love it. Yeah, get your hubby to call!!

And yes, I too think it's partly boob envy!!

xx

xx

evab1 · Dec 17, 2009 5:11PM

Glad it's not just me sim. I think the best way to get your supply up is to express daily in the morning as this is when it's higher and then in evening. I was doing this for a few days but had too much milk and was v engorged. I have lots of milk anyway all the time so don't know why i bothered. I'll send you some

Think i would be a good cow in another life. I know what you mean about hormones, mine are making me crazy. I don't think they realise we don't really want a break. After all it's only for such a short period of time anyway. Good luck with hubby, lets hope they never meet and compare ideas, ha x

mummabear-72331 · Dec 17, 2009 5:27PM

Thanks for the tip hon. Expressing tonight has left my breast quite tender, and it was only 1oz! I guess it will be easier as i get more milk in. I plan to go to the gp tomorrow to get a prescription for Domperidome which is supposed to increase your milk supply in a few days. Id rather the natural methods but these will take longer and I want to get back on full time bf asap. Plus with a few days of me having a "break" and topping Brody up with ff will allow me to get back on my feet, rest more and eat better which I havent been able to do the past week being so stressed by it all.

Every time I get the pump out (have been at night to use colief) hubby starts mooing. I just want to slap him. Last night I was thinking how to pump both at once (I have a twin pump)as I have to lean forward with them so he told me to put both on, get on all fours and he would hold them like he was milking a cow. Does he really think that's funny?? I told him I would stick them on his nipples and pump away and see how he feels before he laughs :evil:

And yes.. it's not about having a break!! I don't want to be away from my baby at the moment. By me expressing, Im still here, and would rather be bf!! He doesnt get it.. if I want a break then I will say so. I don't need anyone else telling me that I need one!

xx

EmilyB · Dec 18, 2009 4:16PM

Give him a smack Sim, I really wish these men would realise that everything they do right now either adds to or helps to ease our self-confidence. I for one feel more vulnerable now than I did during labour, and if hubby mooed at me each time I expressed I'd never forget it and it'd just compound my own feeling that I'm pretty much the feeding machine whilst everyone else gets the cuddles and fun. Just tweek his nipples really hard or something (I think I may be a little on-edge today! :lol

In my small experience, both the times I've expressed and had a 'break' it's left me really really sore by the morning when I'm full to bursting with milk. Takes a couple of days for the tenderness to go, so before husbands start thinking it's a break, they can sod off!

Em + Jak x x x

Dylansmummy-17577 · Dec 18, 2009 4:24PM

Eva Dylan is sickly (although not today) and he is ff, sometimes babies are sickly no matter what they are fed. So there you are both his arguments (the sleep and getting too much) have been disproven you do what YOU feel is right.

x x x

OH doesn't approve of bf

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