Lots of day to day queries

Sarahlouisdue17thNov · Mar 27, 2010 9:46AM

Hi ladies!!1

I've not been on here for such a long time nice to have a read through and see how you are all doing.

I've got quite a lot of queries and was hoping that you could give me your HONEST opinions even if you think the truth may be rude.

I think the best way to do is write our typical day and add my queries to each point and than you can get an idea of our structure. Trying to follow the ideas behind E.A,S.y as she wouldn't sleep without being fed so wanted to break that habbit but looks like we are regressing

6.30/7-7.30 E - about half an hour and nappy change (if she s still asleep should i wake up?)
8- A go on mat while i prepare expressing exipment and get my breakfast. I try to express a bit more from boob she fed from.
9 E this feed is about half an hour-hour but is a sleepy feed and she often drops off.(Am i maybe mistaking tiredness for hunger? She does always feed well though)
9.45 A get dressed for the day play on Mummys bed/ in cot while I get ready for the day. Usually go of to a group or have a bit more of aplay.
11 S... about a month ago had about 45 m sleep by herself in her cot but now she just cries so I will sing while i fold clothes in the room but that dont work anymore. If she is crying alot by half past then i will cheat and feed then put her in cot. (Any tips for sleep?We did control cry for about three mins a time but she used to go straight to sleep almost straightaway anyway)
12 E
12.30/1 Active time usually at a group or if home go in activity station/ on mat/have a sign song etc
2 -S as 11 sleep... needs to be fed to take it
3 -3.30/3.45 feed
3.45-6 active time she used to have a sleep at five but dropped it weeks ago
7-8 cuddles with daddy/go in seat while we eat
8 feed
8.30 bath and massage with relaxing music
9 feed
9.30 bed (fed to sleep)
10-11 sometimes wakes up in this hour...has every day this week.

she only naps for 15-20 mins. I've been told this may be because she is overtired but I thought if she was tired she would just sleep longer!
Although everything has gone wrong the last month or so she was on a 3 hourly routine but think she may be able to go longer for sleeps but as she is only on the 2nd percentile I dont want to spread her feeds out any longer. She's only 11lb 7oz!
She is B/F what do suggest I do when she wakes after going to bed. She doesn't murmor just screams if it was a murmur I'd sing etc but she gets in such a fluster.
Also, in order to help reduce engorgement over night I've tried expressing a tiny bit before going to bed but will this make my body actually produce more over night and make engorgement even worse?
Apparantly she is a clingy baby she really cries with anyone else. Do you think that I should take her back and comfort her or leave her. I can see pros and cons for both.

She's 19 weeks.

sorry lots of points and not sure if i have made any sense just intersted in your views!

thanks!!!

Dylansmummy-17577 · Mar 24, 2010 3:05PM

I cant help with breast feeding hun, im sorry but re sleep I find best way is look for signs of tiredness, Dylans big one is eye rubbing or yawns then put him down awake in his cot even if he's smiling at me as I do it. I then shush and stroke his face if he cries after i've left the room. He does however fight sleep even if I have read the signs perfectly and I find white noise then works a treat so on goes the hair dryer or vac

you could try this?

Also does she have a dummy just as she may want to comfort suck? This may then help your problems with overnight feeds if you dont think she needs them?

I hope someone maybe able to help you re breastfeeding questions but your routine sounds lovely sounds like she gets plenty of interaction etc, I think lots of us are having issues re daytime naps so dont worry your not doing anything wrong

xxxx

rfran · Mar 24, 2010 6:33PM

I'd say it seems a long tile from getting up at 6.30-7.30 and sleeping at 11, my lo would have a miserable day if she didn't go for her nap before 9.

She naps three times in the morning for about 1 to 1 1/2 hours, at lunch about 2 hours and a short nap in the afternoon probably only 20 to 30 mins but some days she I can't get her to take this one especially if she has gone for her lunch time nap late then she sleeps through from 7.15pm til about 6.30am she feeds about 3 hourly during the day but the exact times change depending on the day, some days she she has an extra feed before her morning nap and on Tuesdays I go for an adult swim so I feed her before I leave her with my mum even if she was fed only an hour and a half previously.

We are flexible with everything except bed time which she will not be flexible about, but she is a really easy and sociable baby, Her sleep has got much better since she has started really obviously rubbing her eyes.

sarahwill · Mar 25, 2010 8:17AM

Dear Sarah,

i am ebf my little one (amber) and over the past couple of months have settled into a routine that suits us very well. I know a lot of people dont like rigid routines and I totally get that but I now find it very easy to anticipate if amber is tired, hungry, wants to play or just needs a cuddle.

Your little one sounds lovely- its great that you build in time to get dressed etc and she is happy to watch/play on the bed- its great! I used to find with Amber that if she got overtired she would have what I describe as a 'meltdown' she would literally become hysterical. This happened very quickly if I missed her tired signs or if someone overstimulated her. Obviously every baby is different but I still find she cant go more than about 2 hours without a nap. So I wasnt feeding her in cycles of two hours the trick became to encourage her to nap longer.

I would say that by 9 (if not before 8.30ish) your little one would be ready for nap based on when you get up. Could you try settling her in her cot at 8.15 ish for a few mornings and see if she would go to sleep- it may take 45 minutes but if you put her down early she may go to sleep without feeding. You seem to want to try and break the habit of feeding her before napping which I understand. I would aim to build in 'feed' times and then if you need to top her up before settling for a nap for a while then do it- dont beat urself up about it. Once she begins to nap well then you can cut out the top ups as she will be used to going to sleep.

So my tips on how to get them to nap longer- Well clearly they need to be tired but not overtired. Not too much stimulation before naptime/and top up if that helps her to settle. Amber used to only sleep for 20 minutes then I managed to get her to nap for a sleep cycle 40 minutes ish- then I managed to get her to nap at lunchtimes for 2 hours. How did I do this? The lunchtime nap was the hardest to work out because she was getting very tired by 11ish. The time between 11.-11.35 I find I have to tread carefully so she doesnt get wound up. Gentle play in the cot seems to work. Then I would give her a top up at 11.30 and settle her for sleep by changing her nappy. One piece of advice that I got from 'No cry sleep solution' was to anticipate when baby would awake. If you know that they will wake after 20 minutes or 40 minutes because it always happens then watch the clock and make sure you are in the room to sshhh/pat back to sleep in a kind of 'its not gettting up time yet' sort of way. I think I did this for about a week and it works. Obviously if little one is crying lots then you may have to abandon the nap.

Amber also needs a nap in the afternoon (like I said its pretty much 2 hours to the dot she will get tired) so nods off at about 4. It used to be 4-5 but over the past month this nap has got shorter and yesterday she only napped for about 25 minutes and still made it through until bed time. I think of this nap as just the opportunity to refuel and get her through until bed time comfortably and enjoyably. I tended to wake her at 5 though so she would settle at 7 and this worked.

those of you who have done some reading will know that this sounds suspiciously like CLB routine which is abhorred by many. I spent the first 10 weeks of amber's life going with the flow and writing everything down so I could see what she wanted. I have never left her crying once. Ive noticed her change so a month ago or so she would not wait more than 5/10 minutes without feeding once she awoke but now she will wait about 20/25 minutes. Also she does fall to sleep feeding sometimes before her lunch and bedtime nap and if she does I just put her down asleep. I have also been lucky that she sucks her thumb so puts her self to sleep when she is tired but it wasnt always that way and I truly believe that putting them down before they get overtired is the trick even if it takes you sitting quietly with them for 45/1hr. If they are happy and 'in the zone' then its worth it. OH discovered this when she was about 8 weeks old- after weeks of screaming before any nap he say patiently with her for about 45 minutes while she was happy and then she just fell to sleep. I never thought this would happen. It gradually reduced from 45 minutes to no time at all over the past months.

The day looks like this

6.45/7.00 wake - FEED
play
8.45/9.00 - settle for nap she sleeps for about 45 minutes
10.00 feed then play
11.30 (top up to settle for nap- Ive found I can cut this out now by stretching her feed until about 10.15 but if you do want to try this then I encourage you to keep this because youll know if she wakes then its not from hunger). She sleeps for about 2 hours
2.00 feed
play
4ish nap for about 45 minutes (sometimes a bit less) often out in buggy or carrier
5.00 feed then play
5.45ish bath/getting ready for bed
6.15 feed
6.45ish bed (sometimes awake sometimes drowsy or almost asleep)

This may not be helpful at all because every baby is different but I hope some of it is useful. I totally understand where you are coming from and understand why you want to see her nap for longer (for her and you!!).

Sorry for the long post- rambling on!

Sarah xxx

sarahwill · Mar 25, 2010 8:25AM

PS I forgot to mentioned that I too started with the EASY principle (yes YOU time what a joke!). I found it a good idea but found it tricky because until I could get her to nap longer I was doing it in cycles of about 2/2.5 hours and she was having four naps a day. THis may work for you but I now prefer that she is having one longer nap and she is really refreshed afterwards. I also found 'activity' time really a difficult concept until she was about 3 months old. Activities would last about 10 minutes before she got overtired.

sarahwill · Mar 25, 2010 8:29AM

Sorry just reread your message and realised I missed another point about bf. I too had engorgement and starting pumping. Like you I found that it didnt really help plus I wasnt really using the milk for anything because OH is at work and I do night feeds. I basically stopped pumping more out of laziness and I have found the supply has just settled down over the past 6 weeks. Again, everyone is different but I reckon when they about 2/3/4 months your supply will naturally be abundant because of all the growth spurts. I think it will adjust if you dont pump but thats just my opinion!

rfran · Mar 25, 2010 5:50PM

Re read post and read noticed what you said about your lo being clingy I think it is a bit of a phase at the moment, my lo is normally very social and has always been passed round amongst the family but in the last month she is noticeably more clingy I have found she is best in our house, at my mums and in small groups if other people have her and there is no point trying to give her to any one other than my mom and her auntie lo (who has magic baby touch no matter who's baby she's holding) in large groups and unfamiliar surroundings

evab1 · Mar 25, 2010 6:43PM

Expressing will increase your milk so unless you're doing it for a reason I'd cut back on that and might help? Too tired for more sorry x

Star11 · Mar 27, 2010 9:46AM

sorry not bf so cant help with that! but i have had an awful time of it - you may have read previous posts but i then realised that a lot of the screaming (like you wouldnt believe i really thoight sumit was wrong) was down to tireness and me getting in such a flap and stressed and trying to feed/cuddle to sleep!

it seems to have imporved when i put in own room in cot (hubby had to build a room in end of our lounge random i know but proper room so looks good and it was needed)

so if he wakes at 7am by 9 he starts putting his hand on head and scratchinga bit, rubbing eyes etc starts winging so i lay in cot not blind shut just curtains and give dummy and leave room - some times when i do this he doesnt seem tired once lay down but i leave - i let him winge and start a cry then go in and put mobile on and dummy and leave sometimes goes straight off (miracle) others i go in lots...

he will only have 40mins max

then 2 hours from waking he seems tired again so around 11.45/12pm so i do the same - he wakes after 40mins but last 2 days i have left him to cry when wakes then gone in dummy etc and left and he went back off

he will then need a nap again at 3ish if only short at lunch if not it will be later

but if at 3ish he has another at 6pm - this one is a bit silly to everyone and me a but as obvioulsy want him tired for bed but found he then has a lovely bath, gets dressed without screaming and drinks bottle without fallinbg asleep after half of it - he then goes down bout 8pm!

he then has dream feed boyt 11pm and wakes for feed at 4am (just cannot seem to drop this )

soooooooo sorry prob just rambled but what im trying to say is try 2 hours after waking laying in cot and leaving and then take day from there - if you crack first nap it should follow oin as wont be overtired!

xxxxxx

Lots of day to day queries

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