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Support needed sad post*!

ninninninnin
in My baby was born in Nov 09
Hi Girls,

i Hope someone remembers me from my previous post a while ago about being pregnant and being very worried about telling my parents and about what others may think... well i told them, but unfortunatly i had tell them the baby was dead at the same time image this happened in July and im just numb from it.... i had something called a missed misscarrage, meaning i went for a scan and thought i was 12 weeks only to find out the baby had no heartbeat and had died at 8 weeks, im devistated! I had to have an operation on the 21st july to remove it as it wasnt gunna happen on its own and im just so confused now... its been so hard and now i dont know what i want.... at first i thought i never wanted to have another baby... that was it and now i dont feel im gunna be complete untill we have another... but i feel like i should wait and do the things i was gunna do b4 i found out i was pregnant!! image im just everywhere... i couldnt have got Through this without my OH and my gorgeous son, bless him little does he know it but he has saved my life! I have good days and bad...some days i wanna cry all day about it others i just dont wanna remember it!! i have just gone back on the pill and feel so sad... and just wanna know why this would happen to me!! =[

Thank u for listning... sorry for long post

Gillian

Replies

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    RosapennyRosapenny
    oh hun I am so sorry you had to go through this, you need to take the time to grieve and heal and let your body heal and when you feel you are ready and starting to feel 'normal' (sorry I hate this word) again you can decide then whether you want to ttc again or leave it for a while and do the things you planned to do. You are a fantastic lady and I cant imagine what you are going through hun but you can get through this and your brilliant little man is there to help along the way. Remember to talk to your oh about it all, you both need to talk and it will do you good to keep talking about it rather than bottling it all up.
    I wish I could say something to you to make you feel even a tiny bit better xxx i'm so sorry for your loss
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    TetburyChickTetburyChick
    Hi Gillian,

    It sounds like your still coming to terms with it all, could you ask your HV to come and visit you and discuss it with them. They may be able to help you or refer you for some counselling to help you through it.

    Sending hugs for you in the meantime.

    xx
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    mummabear-72331mummabear-72331
    Oh hon I do remember you and Im so sorry to read of your recent loss. I really can understand what you are going through as the exact same thing happened to me a year before I had my son in Nov, the op and all. It was absolutely devastating for me and it did take some time for me to work through my grief. So do allow yourself the time. There are certainly some days that are harder than others, but as time goes by there are less of those as you come to terms with your loss.
    Why has it happened to you? I think that's something any women who has lost a baby has asked themself. With time you will find some inner peace, and perhaps see a reason why the time wasnt right for your lo to come. Im sorry, it is really painful. It certainly helps to talk about it though, I went for counselling and it got me through it so speak to you doc to get a referral if you think that will help you. The miscarriage and etopic forum on here is also great, it's actually where I joined the site.
    Take some time out for yourself and in time you will know when it's right to ttc again. If you feel maybe you should go out and do the things you wanted to do before you were pregnant, then go for it and don't feel guilty. You never know, your lo may have realised this and wants to let you experience some more before they come back again. Im a believer that they do come back, it's what gave me hope and the strength to move on. I hope you can find some strength somewhere, we are always here too hon. Big hugs x
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    summer_76summer_76 Regular
    i replied yesterday but dont know where my post has gone???

    It is so cruel and iam so sorry you have to go through this./ Like mamabear i had a mmc and an erpc - it still affects me everyday but i truly believe that my darling angels (twins) are always around.

    It was very recent so the way you are feeling is totally normal - and it does get better. I promise it does. You will always be a mummy to your angel - councelling is a good idea as is talking tp the MC association.

    I am so sorry and hope that each day hurts a little less x
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    ninninninnin
    Thanks everyone for ur replies.... i think me and oh are gunna have a long talk and decide whats best... it really does make u apprichiate what u have got! This year has just been such a bad year, my friend lost her little boy in febuary, he was born 31 weeks and put up such a fight sadly he grew wings on day 3... i am a great beliver in fate and everything happens for a reason... and like u mummabear i also belive they come back, like u said it keeps you going! Thank u all so much, its nice to talk to an outsider sometimes.... helps u see things clearly!

    x x x
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    XXmummy-of-3XXXXmummy-of-3XX
    So sorry to hear this- I had exactly the same thing happen with my first pregnancy and it is heartbreaking. There just isn't an explaination for it and it's so hard to get your head around- it happened 12 years ago but I can remember every detail of it. Hope you are able to get the support you need to help you through this tough time.
    Alison x
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    Ems101Ems101
    So sorry to hear this. I hope your family continue to give you support and you work out whats best for you.

    Do keep coming back and talking to us if you'd like.

    Em x
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    daves_frienddaves_friend
    Sending big hugs hun, I've been through it too (MMC and ERPC) and it's just the most heartbreaking situation.

    The way you're feeling is exactly normal I'd say and although you never ever forget as Summer says in time it hurts less (although it probably doesn't feel like that now)

    Wish I'd known about BE back then as none of my friends/family wanted to talk about it as they thought it would upset me but I needed the support and talking helped me grieve.

    Whatever you decide with TTC you'll now when the time feels right for you

    Take care chick xx
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