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Help!
Hi ladies!
It's so nice to finally be over here, but I'm already after a bit of advice!
Dexter is now 5 days old and we're having some issues with feeding and sleeping. Dexter has absolutely no pattern with either except that he seems to mistake day for night. The last couple of nights he's not settled after feeds so I've been up with him for 4 or 5 straight hours. Before this we were having to wake him up for feeds a few times which took ages, nothing worked! When he does feed now he fights against me even though it's obvious he wants food and attaches and detaches so many times which is so painful! He also doesn't stay very settled when we put him to bed (am sitting with him on the sofa atm- completely soundo now!) but we really didn't want him to get into the habit of falling asleep on us though he seems to sleep ok elsewhere. Luckily hubby has been amazing but it's frustrating because I'm breast feeding and just getting so exhausted and dreading it because I know it's going to hurt like hell!
Guess I'm just looking to see if anyone has experience of this with some advice or if someone else is going through it atm?
Thanks ladies!
It's so nice to finally be over here, but I'm already after a bit of advice!
Dexter is now 5 days old and we're having some issues with feeding and sleeping. Dexter has absolutely no pattern with either except that he seems to mistake day for night. The last couple of nights he's not settled after feeds so I've been up with him for 4 or 5 straight hours. Before this we were having to wake him up for feeds a few times which took ages, nothing worked! When he does feed now he fights against me even though it's obvious he wants food and attaches and detaches so many times which is so painful! He also doesn't stay very settled when we put him to bed (am sitting with him on the sofa atm- completely soundo now!) but we really didn't want him to get into the habit of falling asleep on us though he seems to sleep ok elsewhere. Luckily hubby has been amazing but it's frustrating because I'm breast feeding and just getting so exhausted and dreading it because I know it's going to hurt like hell!
Guess I'm just looking to see if anyone has experience of this with some advice or if someone else is going through it atm?
Thanks ladies!
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Replies
I think it does take them a while to settle into a pattern - I tried to only ever put my LO in the crib upstairs when it was night-time, I would always put the nightlight on and keep noise to a minimal. During the day she sleeps in daylight with all the usual day to day noise. This has really worked for us and she sleeps between 4-5 hours, feeds and then another 4-5 hours at night, whereas duting the day she only does 2-4.
As for cuddling my HV told me to make the most of them, she said you can't spoil a baby too much and to cuddle her to sleep as much as I want (which I generally do!!) I try to let her self-settle more through the day but will cuddle her to sleep after feeds at night.
Have you tried holding (firmly, without smothering with your boob!) Dexter's head? I've noticed that if I don't hold LO firmly initially she pops on and off - (looks like a nodding dog!), whereas if I hold her head she remains latched after a couple of minutes.
It all just takes time, my little princess is 33 days old and I see improvements everyday. Try not to worry about what you said you would/wouldn't do and what others say you should/shouldn't do - do what's best for you and your baby - you can always break habits later....
xxx
My LO was the opposite way round to yours! He had a great routine at 5 days and would happily go about 4 hours at night between feeds but was quite unsettled in the morning. That all changed though lol!! He became a really windy baby and now is really really difficult to settle at night and is now only going 2 hours between feeds!! I think unfortunately for all of us what the other ladies have said is true. It will take quite a while for them to settle in to a routine and whilst we are trying to get them in to a rutine they will go through growth spurts etc which will mess it all up again. All I can suggest is do what Chickadee mentioned about crib upstairs at night and ltos of noise during the day. I do that and he does sleep at night and settle quite quickly after night feeds.
And the age old advice of sleep when he does haha! I have managed that a total number of 2 times since he was born 31 days ago! LOL.
Sorry I can't be more help!
Love the name by the way!!!
With the feeding I don't seem to have enough hands! I've worked out I can trap one of his arms against my body and the other under a long bib but my boobs are now ginormous (no kidding they're Jordan size) and I've been needing to keep hold of the one I'm feeding with to make sure it stays where it's meant to! If hubby is there he'll help me but he's not going to be there all the time so at a bit of a loss with that one
Have you tried different breast feeding positions? Imogen loves to play with her face or mess around with her hands in general so I sometimes use the rubgy ball position to combat this. Also are you using a breastfeeding pillow? or pillows in general?
Imogen, 6 days old xx
I just wanted to agree with Rosemary about the BF using a pillow. If you haven't got one go and buy yourself a V pillow!!
The MW told me to use mine when breastfeeding and it made such a difference, sometimes I don't even have to hold Teddy he just lays on the pillow and I cup my hands around his body for security.
Karen and Teddy (26 days old) xxx
At this stage I don't see a problem with cuddling to sleep, make the most of it because all too soon they're grown up and not wanting cuddles anymore (typing this looking at my 2yo asleep on the sofa who HATES mummy cuddles!)
I have a BF cushion but because my boobs as so big it's too high for me to use, so I either use a cushion from the sofa, or sit in bed with my legs brought up to support her. She's going through a phase of not latching properly so I feel your pain! Do you have Lansinoh cream? It's fab stuff and really helps, I also use nipple shields occasionally if I'm getting too sore.
Well done and keep with it, you're doing a fab job even if Dexter can't tell you himself! xx
I have to say though i'm not enjoying the boobs being so huge and sore! It actually feels like something is sitting on my chest they've got so heavy! Also leaked everywhere yesterday when we had visitors over lol! Oh well not a lot I can do about it.
Laninsoh is just fab, I tend to put it on after every feed at the moment even if my nipples arent particularly sore. I just find it helps them before they get really painful. Sometimes I put a second application on between feeds if they are sore.
Ive been fortunate again to have lots of milk that my pads are usually wet with milk before each feed. The day my milk came in properly in hospital I woke up in the morning with a wet top lol! Personally I have found the asda breast pads to be rubbish for holding milk and although more expensive the tommee tippee ones are bigger and more slim line and hold more of the leaking milk. I put 2 in each cup and usually have to change 1 of them after each bf. I have my nipple in the middle of one b.pad, then have the other lower b.paddown to catch any over flow which would otherwise leak into my bra/top! If that makes sense!
I have found that he is less willing to latch on when my boobs are really full that the ducts feel like they are about to pop! I just express some off so its more comfortable for me and easy for H to latch on.
There are adv and disadv to having big boobs with plenty of milk!
Like others have said, make sure he is fully winded before settling him. Theres also the possibility of a wet or dirty nappy or a slightly sore bottom could be keeping him awake. I can sympathise, I remember sitting on the computer rocking her in the early hrs of the morning. I'm trying not to rock H and keeping him swaddled as I believe this was a bad habit we got ourselves into with our dd