Groups

Brunette · Oct 13, 2011 9:39AM

Has anyone managed to go to any groups yet?

My husband and I got out and about a lot during his paternity leave but now its just me I'm taking it easy - going to appointments when I have to and having friends over for coffee but nothing too ambitious.

Everyone keeps telling me to get out and meet other moms and join baby groups but I want to wait a while and feel more confident first. I guess I just feel a bit bad as today I had tracksuit bottoms on all day and apart from tidy the house a bit and me and baby spend time together we haven't actually done anything. Should I feel bad?

KazzieM · Oct 11, 2011 12:15PM

Not in these early days, you're still getting to know each other. Once baby passes the first month stage it can help to get out of the house at least once a week for some fresh air (and to stop you going completely bored). A stroll to baby clinic will allow you to check up on your baby's progress and meet other mums (you may also find toddler groups go along to promote themselves).

Tigerlily13 · Oct 11, 2011 1:09PM

I've been in my pj bottoms everyday while i've been at home - only get dressed if we're going out. I did have a section though so it's more comfy for me - and i don't care what people think!

We've not been to any groups yet, but i might try and get to the children's centre this week to the breastfeeding cafe. Not fed in public yet so hoping this group will give me some confidence. They also do an under ones group which i might start going to.

I feel really nervous when i'm out alone though. I can't drive yet but have been for a couple of walks alone. I walked into town to meet hubby after work but Ryan started screaming and had to keep getting him out the pram to comfort him coz i didn't know what else to do!

Don't feel bad about not doing anything, at the end of the day you've just had a baby!

xxx

spongebobby · Oct 11, 2011 2:33PM

We've only been to clinic to be weighed and at that I scuttle in and dash back before he wakes up properly and screams the place down!

They do an under ones group at the childrens centre and I will go when Oliver is a bit older and I feel more comfortable.

You shouldn't say that you are not doing anything as you are doing the best job in the world and that is being a mummy.

SB x

xFran82x · Oct 11, 2011 4:07PM

No don't feel bad at all! Its nice just to spend time you and baby and its time you won't get back. When Mia is a little older I will go out to baby massage and toddler group with her my other daughter who is 2 and a half.

All we have done is go into town or for a walk while ds is at school and dd1 is a playschool (3morns a week 10-12) last week we went to see my granny and today we called to see my friend and her 17wk old. I have a light twin buggy my mum got us and I've walked both girls down to the park in the village.

I haven't fed in public as such either, just in the mothercare room, and in the car

Meandmygrowingboy · Oct 11, 2011 4:33PM

Im looking into groups, there is a big wait for the baby massage course and cant go to aquababies until hes had his first needle.

I live in my jimjams and no bra lol, it took me 3 hours to get ready to go out the other day, planned to get the bus to clinic as still not driving as i was leaving, hubby come home early to take us. I was happy about the fact i didnt have to get the bus but was naffed off as well due to all my hard work.

oscar2 · Oct 11, 2011 4:44PM

hi, i think you're doing the right thing not pressurising yourself. Becoming a mummy and getting to grips with feeding are massive challenges and you need to take it all on board before joining groups and heading here there and everywhere. I have a 7 week old and i was in hospital for most of week one, then my OH was off for weeks 2 and 3 and we only went to grandparents (him driving). I had a rough birth and breast feeding 2-3 hourly, i put no pressure on myself. I let OH sort the pram out etc tidy up, sort meals etc. The first week i stayed in a birth centre for tlc and feeding help and, as well as having OH to lean on, i really felt nursed back to life. By week 4, as a result, i felt strong enough to start heading out in the car to postnatal group (which i thought id hate - but actually really enjoy!) it was a good first for breast feeding in public as everyone else was doing it. Even now i limit myself to 3 or so things to do a week, as i still love the time with my baby and i like to have a bit of time for sorting the house too. I also love lying in with my baby where possibke! For some people, they seem to have a need to fight changing their lives at all and need to be busy and socialising all the time. This is exhausting and the reality is your life has changed a lot! Its better to except the changes and enjoy time with your baby and being a mummy than trying to fight it all when you're getting over labour and dealing with sleep deprivation. You'll know when the time is rigjt. It would be different if you were feeling low and trapped in the house but you clearly aren't. It sounds like you're enjoying coffee with friends etc.

when you do feel ready for public feeding - pick your places to start with and go with someone who gives you confidence (best mate, mum, OH) John lewis have an infant feeding room with comfy sofas etc which, some way down the line, might make you feel you could go shopping again! Im braving it this friday with my mum as desperately need some winter shoes (am wearing flip flops in the rain!) my baby's 7 weeks though and feel much more confident about it all. I can accept we may only get a couple of hours and if he screams the place down we can always just admit defeat and come home. Would not have dreamt of doing this in the beginning though - you need to be getting a few hours sleep first.

xxx

KazzieM · Oct 12, 2011 10:52AM

Am starting to try and get out but it's more for Samantha's benefit as toddlers get bored spending all their time stuck indoors especially when mummy's time is now split between two children. If I could rewind time back to when Samantha was newborn, I spent almost all day in PJs slept when she slept and left things to pile up (sadly I can't do that these days and just have to accept I'm gonna be more tired)

candimum · Oct 13, 2011 9:39AM

I go to a coffee morning on a Tuesday and a mother and toddler group on a Friday but i went to them before i had Oliver so its no different from before.I go to the friday one as i take my daughter and also the coffee morning i go with the mums from there school when i have dropped the kids of but they are within a ten minute walk to me so not far to go.They keep me sane as i don't drive and i need to get out so i don't get depressed.x

Groups

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