Well Im glad thats over.............

LOOBYLOU81 · Feb 28, 2009 8:35PM

My friend came round tonight for a girly gossip and to catch up. Anyway she knows that im having tests done ect to find out whats wrong and why I dont get AF and is well aware Ive been told Im going to need help concieving.
TTC conversation came up and she decided to spend the next hour talking about how she has a feeling she cant have kids! Now she has no reason to think this as she has always had regular periods and never had any gyne probs but she just has a feeling because she came off the pill and is desperate to have a baby despite not being in a relationship, then proceeded to tell me 6 months ago she was timing BD with her ex to try and get pregnant (he is an ex for a very good reason) but as she hadnt got pregnant then something has to be wrong with her, she failed to realise the fact the bloke was a lying cheating idiot that broke her heart and that was prob more the reason things didnt work out with her getting pregnant. (which was just as well really as they are no longer on speaking terms, not exactly the situation to deliberatlely bring a child into)
But its really annoyed me because it very much felt as if she was trivialising my situation and what im going through at the moment and I feel like she hasnt really got a good reason to feel like this so all felt a bit insensitive really knowing my situation at the moment, she isnt even seriously thinking a bout kids right now because she is single and wants to find a nice bloke to settle down with first!
Rant over, thanks for listening xx

gummibear · Feb 28, 2009 8:20PM

Hi LoobyLou

I think you have every right to feel like this. Obviously you need support from your friends just like we all do when TTC and its really stressfull. I know that with my group of friends not many have kids and so I do feel a bit isolated sometimes in the sense that I dont know if they truly understand how much I would love a baby and again I then feel guilty for feeling that if that makes sense?!

I think its one of these things that she will probably only realise what it truly feels like to be in the situation when she is actually in a different position. She maybe just sees you settling down and looking to start a family and is a bit panicked and thinks she wants to as well?

Sorry that was a bit of a ramble but hope it made some sense!

and im sure your friend probably didnt realise she was being unsupportive or trivialising your situation but again can totally understand how annoying it can be when someone goes on like that!

Anytime u need a rant thats what we are here for x

LOOBYLOU81 · Feb 28, 2009 8:35PM

Thanks gummi, you are so right, it does put it in perspective to hear things from someone elses point of view. I think I sometimes feel like people dont really see my situation as difficult because I do have an 8 yr old son, I love him to death and am so greatful to have him, he was kind of a miricle baby as in theroy shouldnt have been able to get pregnant as didnt get AF! But having said that I dont feel that makes it any easier, it doesnt stop the yearning I have to have another baby and because Iv had one I know what im missing and to think i might not have it again tears me apart, being a mum is the only thing I ever felt I was naturally good at, and being pregnant with my son was a whole different experience to what it will be if and when it happens next time as I was left on my own last time but i am happily married to a wonderful man now and want to experience it with him.
Like you said tho i know she didnt say anything to intentionally upset me and mostly its just because she is so ready to settle down and have children but hasnt met the right person yet so think its that more than anything

Well Im glad thats over.............

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