TTC is making me sooo unhappy

Hey all

Some of you may remember me, alot of the newer TTC'ers may not. Me and hubby have been TTC since Sept 09. It seems like forever. Its really starting to get me down though now as we are both in 20's, both a healthy BMI, do not drink excessively, dont smoke, eat healthily and had been taking all the folic acid and vits etc. So why isnt it working???

When we first started TTC I was so excited and had indulged in the baby mags and what pram would be best etc. Now the whole thing makes me feel sick. Its not that I no longer want children but the whole TTC is stressing me out so much and Im finding it so disheartening.

Has anyone gone to the GPs before the 1 year wait? And were you given any help? I dont want to waste an appt for them to just tell me to wait another 6 months.

Thanks for reading my moaning , H x x x


  • Hiya Mrs Allen, sorry you are feeling like this, the stats say that you only have a 1 in 4 chance every month even if everything is in working order.

    I know its easy for me to say but try and relax and enjoy the process. I'm sure you will get there in the end.

    Have you tried charting you temp and using opks to make sure you are bd at the right time..............its a long process but I'm sure you will get there in the end.

    We went to the docs after 14 months and have just had our first infertility appointment.

    If you or your partner have a history of problems in the family you may be able to go sooner but as you are both in your 20's and healthy I would say they won't see you until 12 months.

    Sorry if I haven't been much help, sending you a big hug xxx
  • Hiya hun.... I know exactly how you feel. DH and I started ttc our first in 2006 and we didn't concieve until oct 08 (on our honeymoon!!!). I think it worked for us because I became pre-occupied with wedding plans etc to worry about ttc for a while.

    We are now ttc number 2 (incase it takes the same amount of time) and while we are planning it we are trying not to put too much pressure on ourselves.

    Just try to relax - it will happen for you!!

  • thanks for the advice guys.

    hubby had a motobike accident 7 years ago which badly affected his testes. They slammed against the fuel tank at around 40mph. This has left one 'crushed'. He doesnt know if this will affect his fertility and as he was only 18 at the tim, i dont think it was mentioned or even if he asked about it. It has started to cause him pain recently, and is having some ultrasound scans on them on Fri.

    Im wondering given this, would they be able to test fertility? (obv at another appt)

    We have tried using opks but didnt have much luck with them, and only got a high on 2/5 cycles. So obv that made me worry even more!

  • If he is willing, I would maybe ask about getting a fertility test done, just so you know.

    Do you get regular af? My sister had difficulty concieving and she began using herbal medicine (my auntie is a herbalist, don't try anything you don't get from a professional) and she has just found out she is expecting her 3rd baby in 3 years!! Just another route you could maybe think about.

  • thank you all and littlewolf, i remember u 2

    i know that if we relaxed a little more it would help but like you littlewolf, i do think it is having a massive impact on our relationship. We have been through far worse situations together but i think because we feel so helpless in this, we are both struggling.

  • Hi Mrsallen, I remember you too. Sorry to hear that it is getting to you so much, we are on month 6 now and it is so hard - although we are already seeing doctors as we know that we have a few problems. Considering the accident your husband had I think the doctors will be more likely to let you get tests done as there is a history of injury. If you really want to get the tests done you could always tell them you have been trying for a year anyway, they won't know that you haven't!! Good luck chick, let us know what you decide to do.x.
  • hi hun, sorry to hear your feeling like this though i know what you are going through.

    I went to my docs after 7 months as i have been off the pill for 18 months before starting to try. he said it is easier to test the OH first as its a easy procedure. We just got our results back for OH and something has shown up so we can now deal with it, hopefully.

    So i think you should go to your docs and say you are concerned, there is no reason why they cant do some tests sooner rather than later. My docs is very sympathetic and used to ruin a fertility clinic so he tends to think acting earlier is better in the long term.

    Hope you get some asnwers hun!
  • I remember you as well. We've been ttc since July 09, had an ectopic and a 3 months gap and now back onto month 3 of ttc but seems like an eternity since we started.

    I'm so fed up, we do everything we should and it's still not happening. Is so annoying and like you i'm sick to death of it. All the years I spent trying not to get pregnant thinking that if I missed a pill i'd immediately fall! Little did I know! x x x
  • mrs allen a week and a half ago i could have written your post then as you know i got my bfp last monday! i don't really have much advice as i was terrible at coping with it myself but i'm just hoping to give you some hope as, like i said, i was in thre exact same position. we're both early 20s,healthy, don't smoke, don't drink much, not overweight...
    we also started ttc in sept 09 and in my head i'd sort of decided it wouldn't happen straight away but probably quite soon (i had 3 months in my head) and as soon as that passed i've been feeling worse and worse - like it was never going to happen, like we weren't going to be lucky and i wanted it too much (stupid i know)
    now that i am actually pregnant we can't believe our luck and it just puts the last 6 months into perspective - yeah it probably took a little longer than average baring in mind our circumstances but someone has to be or there wouldn't be an average! and we were probably really close so many times and this was just our lucky month.
    the only thing we did differently was to use pre-seed (which i am obviously now totally sold on!) i didn't have any symptoms in 2ww and was fully expecting af to arrive.
    anyway, sorry for the really long reply, just hoping to reassure you a bit!
    fingers crossed this is your month and you can join us in DID!
  • Hello mrsa

    I dont know what to say really but i wanted to offer a shoulder (((hugs)))

    I went to the DR this month and was told to relax (ggggrrrrr) and that as im young and healthy i would be fine.... Wot with evrything going on we forgot about ttc and only BD twice max image

    I have tryed to relax before but i have never really forgot about ttc and bd etc but this month i really did.... i sat thinking about when would AF be due as i always have 4/5days spotting and realised af was due the next morning image running to the loo with my SD test it was pos image

    I had given up and i had even started getting used to the idea that it was never going to happen... coz after 20 months surely it would of happened if it was going to...... and there it was a bfp image - i was so excited i put conditioner on my face and used facewash in my hair :lol: not good for face or hair.....

    Maby you should think about going to the DR and get hubs looked at (well his swimmers) lol

    I am going to keep my fingers crossed for you xxxxxxx

    Gems (was gembags)

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