Frustrated

Hi girls,
Well last night was the first night we tried as this week I should be OV. Hubby had been looking forward to it all day and being naughty sending me texts and so on. We got home chilled out and then just before bed had a nice shower and then went to start and - no show!!! Hubby felt so much pressure and it just never really happened. He felt awful and I felt so bad for him this has never happened before. He said he just kept thinking about it and the more he did the more nothing happened.

We kind of managed to bd with me on top sorry TMI, but I don;t feel he came very much and i am just freaked out now that this will happen this whole week when this is the time to try.

This morning and I am going to sound like a right cow I am really mad with him, I have course not told him this or shown it but I just feel mad?

k xx

Posts

  • Mine was knackered this morning, but I think I'll OV this week. I felt really guilty demanding BD off him.....I told him he'd probably get sick of it!

    I'd just try and do something really romantic together and not think about anything happening.
  • Hi K

    Last month I wrote almost the exact same post about my hubby. We were on our first proper month of trying and he REALLY felt the pressure. He told me that he literally couldn't think about anything else but making a baby and he stopped enjoying it and got -stage fright' - he really did struggle and felt absolutely terrible all month. It was hard because on one hand he was telling me how much he wanted a baby but then when it got a bit tough, he just about gave up and we hardly did it at all that month. Of course when AF arrived he felt even worse and started to panic about this month. I did silently get in a little bit of a mood with him, but definitely didn't express this as I know it would have made it worse! We spent hours and hours at random times talking about it and how he felt. I was just as supportive as possible and telling him it'll happen when it happens and it'll be right and he needs to just relax. Easier said than done I know...

    So our plan this month was to forget we were trying and not talk about it or discuss it. I didn't tell him about my ovulation dates, fertile times etc. etc. and we also went shopping for a few fun goodies to make it more fun and less like ???????we're doing it to make a baby???????. It's really worked for us this month and we didn't have one episode where he got -stage fright' as I call it! I'm not sure we've done it this month, but as I keep telling hubby, he got his mojo back and we had a lot of fun trying!

    I have to say, when I first posted I was so worried about whether others hubbies / OHs had had the same thing - and loads did. Not nice I know, but I can't tell you know nice it was to know me and hubby weren't alone in this!

    Hope you feel better soon.

    Joo xxxxxx
  • Thank you so much this has never happened to him before and he looked so gutted last night i felt so sorry for him. I just want to make it better. I think what you said about not telling him the OV dates is perfect as he wont be thinking god i have to do this tonight.

    To be honest I think he just put too much on it you know he wanted the long shower before hand and then all the foreplay and it was just building it all up. i am hoping tonight will be better but we will see.

    Thank you for sharing your story with me though as i did wonder if it was just us so am pleased to see it;s not image

    k xxxx

  • Hi K-lou
    Same thing happened to us in February. It was the first time I got EWCM (although in retrospect I don't think i ovulated anyway). I had jumped my husband so often he knew I thought it was 'the right time' and felt loads of pressure (plus didn't help he'd been made redundant at the time!). Soooo, inside i was also crying and a bit pi55ed off, but I just said don't worry about it, no problem, it doesn't matter. Despite how annoyed you are definitely try not to make a big deal about it as it will only make things worse.
    If you can, hold off trying again tonight and maybe go for it again the tomorrow?
  • my husband says he doesnt want to know when i ov (excitment got the better of me yesterday though when i got a smiley face on the ov stick) so he can just carry on as normal without pressure !
  • Do you think we should hold off tonight?? I don't think I have OV yet am due on friday I think though have been trying to check CM to see and I think it is on it;s way?

    I am just so down I was all happy yesterday as I really felt like we were doing something towards trying.

    xxx
  • i was almost caught out this month but ovulating early. I thought maybe weds or thursday not mon/tues. My ov pains are worse than period pains.
  • You know I never knew you got OV i swear to god i still can't believe i did not know this. I actually have pains today not all the time but I can feel them and I am due t OV this week friday I think? Thats why part of me wants to take it easy with him and let him take his time and the other part is like we have to do it every day this week!!! Or god knows when my next AF will come and this will be my first real AF after coming off the pill.

    XXXX
  • If you bought the sticks they detect 24-36 hours before hand so you dont necessarily have to give it death all week.
  • I didn't know anything about ovulation either!!! I just thought you did it anytime during the month and wham - baby!!!

    How bad is that?!?!?

    K-lou, I forgot to say on the first time we knew for sure I was ovulating, we made a big deal of it, candles, baths, massage, nice dinner, wine (him!) etc. and that was the biggest failure of all - we'd built it up soooo much!

    Good luck - thinking of you!

    XXX
  • Mrs Joos you sound just like me!! To be honest it was hubby building this whole thing but and even i started to feel a bit worried before we started so no wonder he did as well.

    I am also glad I am not the only one about not knowing a thing about OV I am starting to see a real change in my cm which I never even knew happened. i still feel a bit lost but i am sure the more I go on the more i will pick up.

    Thanks again it really does make me feel better other people went through the same things.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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