OMG what a weekend!!

Hi everyone, i have so much to tell you! had such a rollercoster weekend and need to get it off my chest! anyway i'll take it one day at a time:
yesterday morning i found out my SIL is pregnant. obviously this was a bit of a blow. i was actually fine when i heard and managed to be happy for them and excited and i thoguht to myself "wow i'm actually ok about this" but then about half an hr later it sort of hit me and i just got really down about it and couldn't stop crying. noone knows we're ttc and my whole family were so excited by the news (as they would be) this will be the 1st grandchild and niece/nephew so its big big news. i sort of feel ok about that aspect of things - obviously i thought our child would be the first and had imagined the scenario where i tell everyone and they're really excited a million times, but i don't feel bad coz thwy've "stolen our thunder" or anything and i wouldn't say i'm jealous either particularly, i just feel really sad that we're not pregnant yet - like when af comes only 10 x worse! i also feel like theres suddenly an added pressure for it to happen for us really soon so we don't have to watch it all happen for them and feel gutted about it. it doesn't help much that i'm pretty sure that it was a "happy accident" for them (though like i said - i really don't feel particularly jealous or like it should be us instead - i just feel sad that we haven't got that) so yesterday both hubby and i were on quite a downer but at the same time i was really happy for them and desperately wanted to be able join in the excitment with everyone else - so it was all a bit of a rollercoaster of emotions!
today i went over to my mums for sunday dinner without hubby. i was expecting it to be non-stop baby talk but actually it wasn't really (i suppose there isn't actually too much to talk about in the early stages!) but my mum said something to me like "were you excited when they told you" and i know it doesn't sound like much but the way she said it made me think she might have guessed we might be trying and therefore not as thrilled as everyone else. so later on just the 2 of us were upstairs and she said how my auntie had assumed it was me who was pregnant when she told her she was gonig to be a grandma and i just started crying and told her everything! like i said before absolutely noone knows we're ttc and we had no intention of telling anyone but it was actually just such a relief to get it off my chest and talk about it to someone else. as you'll all know ttc is such a big, high pressure, emotional thing going on in your life and it feels so good that its not just between me and hubby anymore! i told her not to tell anyone else coz i really don't want everyone to be waiting on our announcement - thats part of the reason we didn't tell anyone in the first place!
phew! so anyway, tht was my crazy weekend. well done if you got to the end of that and it all made sense to you!
never a dull moment when you're ttc hey!


  • glad you feel better, thats very nice that your Mum is so lovely about it all.

    ive got a SIL who is ready to pop and you are doing so much better than me, im still a bit of a maniac about the whole thing.

    x x x
  • Hi hun,

    Sorry to hear you have had a crappy weekend but am pleased you finally got to tell someone on the outside world that you are ttc.

    I have told my closest siblings, our parents know and 3 of my friends I couldnt go through all this alone and if anything did happen would want people around me to help me through it.

    Hugs hun and it will be you soon xx
  • thanks everyone. homefairy i'm sure i'll be a lot more manic if it doesn't happen for us soon having to watch her get bigger and bigger! thats what makes it all suddenly so much more pressured!
    on a positive note it would be lovely to share the exoerience with if i do get pregnant soon!
    all i can say is they'd just better not nick our names!! lol
  • teehee, get in there first so they cant!!

    Im ok with the names as they've chosen my dogs name?!! So i wouldnt have been using that one!!

    Yes just think of all the clothes you will get from them!!
  • Hi,

    Your post has really touched me. I actually had a small tear but mostly a feeling of relief, I just wanted to reply to tell you that. I think I had an up and down weekend but just the feeling that we're all going through it together - over the internet! - and that we all basically feel the same is very conforting.

    I am sending you some love and hugs and positive vibes. I'm sure I would have felt very wobbly in your shoes, so good luck over the next few weeks and months.

    ES xx

    PS I just re-read that and now i'm picturing some very tall wabbly high heels?! hehe

    [Modified by: evenstevens on February 01, 2010 12:17 AM]

  • evenstevens thanks for that it is great to know we'r all in the same boat - i couldn't wait to get on here and get all that out of my system yesterday! you also made me giggle with the high heels comment!
    home fairy i hadn't thought about the hand-me-downs! good thinking! xxx
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