I hate that i'm so jealous.

Jealousy is something i simply cannot abide in people, it's horrible and causes so many problems. I have had many people have a dislike towards me for no apparent reason and eventually find out that they're simply jealous that i'm younger than them and married.

But i'm so jealous of everyone around me that is pregnant. My best friend is due at christmas and when she told me i was over the moon and so so happy for her and excied that we might have babies a similar age. But now i'm finding myself avoiding seeing her. (she lives 600 miles away, but i'm avoiding meeting up with her and going to visit). I'm not even doing it on purpose, i just seem to find excuses not to see her and i've just started to realise that i'm jealous and just wish it could be so easy for me.

The other day my friends wife came with him to a BBQ and i didn't know that she's 6 months pregnant. We got married about a week after them. I actually had to walk away for a few minutes and 'go to the toilet' because i was upset and just felt so bitter towards her. It's not her fault for goodness sake, it's mine. I'm a horrible jealous person.

In a way i'm glad i'm aware of it, at least i can stop myself from letting anyone know and ensure it doesn't effect my relationships.

I also get really angry when i see parents being horrible to their children (i'm a teacher, so see this more than most) and i just get so cross because they are so lucky to have children.

And if anyone else asks me when we're going to start a family...grrr

Sorry for my rant about myself, but needed somewhere to let off steam.

Posts

  • dont you dare blame yourself and think you're a horrible person honey!my sis in law just had a baby, as did my friends wife and two of my friends are pregnant. i've had all of the same feelings and its all hormones rolling around making things seem worse and harder to deal with. our time will come soon!big hugs xxxxxx
  • awwww babe ur not a horrible person you cant help but feel that way! i am pretty much the same. i dont let anyone else know it, but really im hurting inside when i see/meet another pg person, especially when they havent planned it image

    and im also the same about parents being mean to kiddies, i cant help but think, here you are moaning and shouting, and i would give my arm to have what u have, and yu dont even appriciate it!

    your not a horrible person babe, and the fact that u keep it to urself proves that rather than taking it out on others. feel free to vent on here whenever yo like we are all in the same bat, and im sure almost every other lady feels exactly the same as us, so dont worry ur not a bda person, its totally normal. hugs xxxxxxxx

    i just try stay clear of new bubbas and pg people! lol apart from fellow b.e'rs bcoz we have all been trhu the journey togather including the hearbreak, ahhpiness and all so its not so bad! xxxxxx
  • Thanks girls.

    It's just so hard isn't it? I guess i was naive and thought it would be as easy for me as it has been for other. I'm still only on month 5 and i dread to think what i'll be like in another 5 months.

    You never know how something feels until you've been through it yourself. I have made a vow to myself that when i'm pregnant i will be very careful and forgiving around anyone who it may hurt.
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