Hello, and is/was anyone else not ready?

Wilko · May 9, 2007 9:11AM

Hi as you can probably see im new here, although i have spent a couple of weeks lurking in the background and reading up on some of the topics.

im due to start ttc (i think thats the only acronym i understand on here!) next week and i feel terrified. im married and we're in a good as a position as any to start our family (OH has a daughter already who lives with her mum).

whilst i would like a family i dont feel broody, and i dont feel this massive urge for a baby which i feel i should have. my parents had trouble concieving me and im worried i may have similar problems (based on nothing other than irrationality!!) so we've decided just to see what happens.....after all reading on here it could take some time.

i dont want to offend anyone, as i can see how much some people have been through in trying for a baby and my heart goes out to you.

i just wondered if anyone else felt so out of their depth, or whether everyone else just knew the time was right?!?

thanks x

FunkyRabbit · May 6, 2007 11:33AM

Hi Wilko. I feel your concerns are very valid, having a baby and all thats related to the topic is a major thing and incredibly daunting. I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd unxpectedly and the timing wasn't perfect, but you know what? It never is. My OH and I have adapted to the situation and are pretty laid back at the minute, things that would have worried us earlier just dont matter now and the reason for that is because 1) theres nothing we can do other accept and prepare and 2) we know we'll cope as we always do.
WIth it being your 1st (when you are successful) I imagine you'll be very happy once over the surprise (yes, surprise even tho you are ttc) because if you were dead set against it happening, you wouldn't be on here would you? Try and adopt as relaxed an attitude as poss and go with the flow... it gets easier I promise x good luck x

George35 · May 6, 2007 11:55AM

Hi Wilko. I think if we all waited for the "right time" it would never happen. I have been ttc for a year now (managed once but had m/c). When my OH and I made the decision, we knew we wanted a baby but ideally felt we could wait 6 months or so to be in a better position financially, and to enjoy being married as just the two of us for a while before life really changes. In the end we decided not to wait. I am now glad we didn't as I have learnt that you can't predict when it will happen, and actually I wish we had started to ttc earlier as age is not on our side. Good luck to you. George, x

Amberley · May 7, 2007 4:21PM

Hi Wilko, I understand where you are coming from. I always thought I was desperate to have a baby until the time came that I was in the position to start trying and then felt terrified! Have decided to keep trying but not to get stressed about it and when it happens it happens. I just think it's sad that women have this pressure of our biological clocks, I'd probably wait a year if I thought time was on my side but as I'm nervous about it taking years and then having trouble conceiving. I think that some people just don't have that massive urge to have a baby but once that little bundle is in your arms you'll realise there's nothing better. Sure those Mums out there would agree....

MrsV06 · May 8, 2007 12:35AM

I'm 11 weeks pregnant, and it was a total accident, although a very happy one after the shock wore off! We only got married in September, so we're getting lots of comments about not wasting any time. We've got used to the idea that we're going to be parents, but it still seems very surreal...and hasn't sunk in yet!

mamapink · May 8, 2007 5:35AM

Hi, I agree with the other comments I don't think there is ever going to be an ideal time to have a baby. My oh and I kept saying we would wait for us to get our own house, or have more money etc etc and then we realised that if we wanted to have a baby we could make it work regardless. I am happy that it is the right time for us (I am about 7 weeks pregnant now!) it only took us 1 month of trying (and like you I thought it would take a while so I was v surprised!!). I do have moments where I think OMG what am I doing, I have no clue how to look after a baby what if I get it all wrong!! But I think that is perfectly natural and its fab having a site like this where you can share your symptoms and worries and realise how perfectly nomal it all is.
I would say it is a big step, a baby changes your life and you need to be happy its what you want at the moment. Don't rely on the fact that it may take you 6 months to conceive, there are a few people on here that have done it in their first month or couple of months trying so you never know! Have a talk to your oh, tell him your concerns he may put your mind at rest. If not what harm will six months wait do until you are certain its what you want.

Good luck in whatever you do, we are all here to give you advice and encouragement!! Liz xx

Wilko · May 9, 2007 9:11AM

thank you all for making me feel so welcome, and a little more normal.

i was begining to think i was the only person to feel like this........

im sure in a couple of months ill be fretting about why i havent fallen, and ill be baby obsesed....in the meantime im just looking forward to the fun of trying.

will no doubt be inundating you all with questions soon.

thanks again xx

Hello, and is/was anyone else not ready?

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