Thinking about number 2
Hi,
I wanted to introduce or re-introduce myself. I used this site in the run up to the birth of my son in September 2011 and am now back contemplating number 2!
My husband and I are thinking about number 2 and are quite excited but we have 'probably the usual' niggles and questions about choosing the 'right time'. At the moment we are thinking maybe ttc June/July but this means choosing to stop my pill in a month! 
I guess the factors that are stopping us at the moment are:
1. Our son is 16 months old and ideally we want him to be almost 3+ when a new baby arrives so he is a bit more independent and we have enjoyed him
2. We have a large loan which will be paid off early 2014. We can't survive a maternity leave with this still hanging over us. (We're working to pay it off faster)
3.Our house is 2 bed and whilst baby could fit in with us for a while (with some furniture reshuffling!) I worry about doing night feeds downstairs (I'm liable to have a c section unfortunatel so difficulty getting downstairs for first 6-8 weeks). Not fair on hubby to feed in our room when he is back to work althogh he might take 4 weeks off due to c section etc. Also general lack of space for 2?
4. My job is taking off again and it would mean putting it all on hold - but maybe in the long run this is ok.
5. DIY - Our house could use some TLC so in a way it would be good to save some pennies to have the garden turfed/seeded for our ds and other repairs. I guess we know once mat leave begins it is difficult to have any spare cash.
So overall I think we feel ready but worry how we would cope with 2. We don't have family nearby and able to help. Do we wait until things are perfect or better or is this never going to be the case?
Hubby is 37 this year and I am 31. I also suffered ICP last pregnancy which they tell me I will get again and this causes risk of still birth and severe itching so the last 8 weeks of the pregnancy were no pic nic - I wonder how my ds would cope with Mummy pg and most likely sick at the end. There would also be lots of additional bloods and scans so could raise the worry stakes.
So confused!
Replies
Ps: I should say I am really interested to read other people's feelings on ttc number 2 especially with complications.
Hopefully we might all be ttc together.
If there are factors that stops you of having another child, then that's enough reason why you shouldn't have. If it comes, it will! There is a perfect time for that. You just have to enjoy first your first baby which is 16 months old. Your first born needs all the love, care, affection and support from you. If everything is okay and settled well, that's time to forget your doubts and have one! Good luck and enjoy parenthood.
Hi Tuliprose, good to see you back after all you went through in 2011.
You have pretty much summed it all up in your opening post, ideally you want everything to be perfect for your growing family but then you also want the right timescale for you all. Normally one gives way to enable the other though which way around comes down to your choice.
We were fortunate in that we already had 3bedrooms so knew we had the space. A 21mth age gap has worked well for us (even though Samantha is under paediatrics for speech delay & is yet to be potty trained, it just means I'm teaching two at once). I was 32 when I had Hannah & DH is 13yrs older than me (it was more his age that he became anxious about determining sooner not later).
So you could start TTC knowing that you could conceive 1st time around or several months down the line (knowing your baby will be born 9mths later from that point) or you could put your home first (though 2beds is plenty to begin with as baby should be in with you for 3-6mths after birth). If you have planned on June/July as your time to TTC then I say go with that plan & let the rest fall into place around it. Best wishes and good luck (there are other DIS2011 mums on here both expecting and TTC too)
I know nobody can decide for me and there isn't right or wrong advice.
Re reading my post I realise that the space issue and most of the house tasks can wait. The difficult bit is whether my son is ready and how an icp pregnancy affects him but all of us.
I would feel awful if I was very poorly and he suffered. Perhaps I can get some family and friends on board to support us if it came to that though.
I think I really want to try for a baby but given our situation it might be easier on us if we wait til ds is a bit older. Maybe if we waited until sept he would then be closer to 3 at the end of the pregnancy/birth.
Lots to consider x
Hi TulipRose
I remember you from last time. My dd is 14 months and we are planning to ttc in a few months - hoping for something around 2 1/2 year gap.
Thankfully I did not have any of the issues that you had during pregnancy but we do have the same issues with a 2 bedroom house, diy and finances in general.
Personally, I think that with your obvious determination to give your ds the love & attention that he requires, you will makesure that you will succeed in doing so regardless of when you have another baby. The fact that this is a consideration in your decision only goes to show how much you are determined.
There are pros and cons of both. Financially, if you wait until you've decorated or moved etc then it may be another 5 years before you have another baby because priorities keep changing. Whereas if you have a baby sooner, the diy will get done eventually but in smaller doses and you will already have your new baby.
With regards to the icp, although it might be likely you have it again, you cannot know for sure and you cannot know the extent, whether it be better or worse.
You and your dh can only be the ones to decide but I would say go for it and you will deal with whatever happens as it happens.
Good luck and sorry for waffling!
GP x
hey hun, my second was born in september 2011, but he was a premmie so wouldnt have been in your due group. we are thinking of number 3 x