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too scared to start trying for #2

I always imagined having 2 children, but after baby number 1 arrived 2 1/2 years ago I am petrified at the thought of having another.  I had an emcs and the whole experience was awful...........#1 didn't sleep well until the age of 2 (I was getting a couple of hours at best), I dreamed about being one of those mums in the magazines that seem to be supermum..........the reality of parenthood for me was very different.  I love my little one more than anything, and 2 beautiful children would be amazing.........BUT............how will I cope?? I just made it through with 1, how do I do it again with a toddler.......how do I ensure my firstborn does not suffer.........its tearing me up!! I never imagined only having 1 child, I am scared I will mess up the decision for them.......is having a brother or sister whats best even if it means mummy struggles for a year or so after.  I have realised I haven't even mentioned my husband...... whoops......he feels exactly the same! We have no family local so no-one to help out  at all.

Thanks for reading......... x

Replies

  • I would suggest you to wait for another 6 months . Since there is nobody to take care of you in pregnancy or during delivery, then let your first baby reach a stage where he or she can carry him/herself properly and you can take care of the who is about to come.

  • Well i can completely relate to u hun. My first was a nightmare the pregnancy the birth an im having trouble with him now. I ended up getting pre eclamspia through labour they nearly lost us both i then ended up with a very near 3rd degree tear, an ended up being rushed back into hospital having a fit because of a very nasty water infection. My son was born with severe silent reflux i had half hour sleep in the day an hour of a night if i was lucky it took me 6 weeks to actually get the drs to lsiten to me about Daniel by then hed burnt all his oesphagus an was put on 2 meds i ended up with severe post natal depression with which i took a paracetamol overdose with. An it broke my 6 year relationship up with his dad an i thought NEVER again!!

     

    BUT after 3 years my son is 4 in august ive just had my second and i couldnt be happier! The pregnancy was great the birth even better an i couldnt be more in love with my daughter an shes sleeps fantastically she goes 4-5 hours of a night between feeds an sleeps through the day, no child is the same an they really arent! An please dont think ur a crap mum! no one is perfect an anyone who thinks they are, are just lying or just diluisional the whole parenthood thing should be called guilthood! because thats all u feel is guilt an wondering if ur good enough an u compare urself to everyone else or the way ur parents were an ur not ur parents an ur not everyone else ur u an thats what ur child will love about u! 

    If ur not ready ur not ready i never thought id ave anymore but i did an i knew wen i was ready yes i still panicked through out the whole pregnancy wondering if i could cope if i was going to end up ill again if my daughter would be like my son etc an honestly its the best thing ive ever done! If u feel as bad as u do ave u ever though that u could be suffering with a little bit of post natal depression? Yes it can happen at any point of having ur child or even just a little bit of dperession? I would speak 2 someone about how ur feeling an if u want to message me an talk i dont mind image xx

     

    Just remember ur child love for you is unconditional the same way it was for u an ur parents xx an i can guarantee that ur the best mum ur child will ever need an ur that childs world! x

  • All babies are different huni! My little boy is a total angel!! Slept right through since he was 8 weeks old, so I have had it SO easy! If your worried, leave it abit longer until your lo is abit older xxx
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