The Birth Month Dilemma
Hi ladies,
My lovely H is convinced he doesn't want any of his children born in June, July or August, as he believes summer born children have a disadvantage at school, and as they are generally smaller than their classroom peers have a physical disadvantage as well. There have been lots of studies on this reported in the papers etc.
This obviously poses a bit of a problem as we come towards the end of the year - he doesn't want to TTC during Sept, Oct and Nov (and depending when my cycle lands in Dec, it could be heading towards the end of the year or the start of next year before we're back on the TTC train).
It concerns me, as I turn 34 in September, so I'm not getting any younger. While I have no evidence to prove otherwise, there is always a chance that things might not happen quickly for us, and limiting TTC to 9 months of the year presents a bit of a challenge.
Do any of you have this problem?
Replies
Hi kiwirose, had to write back to you, as i have 2 summer babies - one is 6 (born end of July) and my other is nearly 2 - end of August.
Thing is, what your husband says is kinda right and also wrong - my 6 year old never ever struggled in Reception - or Year 1 - sure, some of the older kids looked much bigger, but when it came to the education, all kids learn at their own pace. My daughter was never left behind - while some kids understood rhyming, mine took a lot longer to get it - but then she could read before some of the older ones in her year - you find when you have kids, everything comes in it's own time, you know?
Also, i really didn't want a child born sep/oct/no cause then you end up having to pay SO much more for childcare. It's like a whole extra year to fork out for.
So, i would say, convince your hubby - it's not something to stress about, promise!
Hi Mrsg, yes everything you say I agree with. I think all kids do learn at their own pace. and that it's dangerous to box them in a group according to birth month. One of my best friends, for example, is born in June, has a PhD and is a Scuba diving instructor. I think that is a good example against his theory.
He won't be budged though. I'm actually quite surprised he hasn't come up with the childcare argument for autumn babies - he is an accountant and saving money is important to him! I probably won't bring that one up though, as he might end up suggesting that we cut those months out of contention too!
Wow...I never really thought about the time of year any of my babies would be born so in depth! I believe conceiving a child should be fun and exciting...spontaneous almost when you are in a loving relationship trying to conceive (I am not niave enough to think that all children are made this way though). Your husbands method seems so planned and prescribed...I am not saying for a minute it's wrong it just seems almost clinical to me when you could have fun ttc and it will be amazing whatever time of year your baby arrives.
My eldest daughter was born on July 7th she was the last in her class to turn 7 this year. She is academically beyond all of her age group - she reads at a level of a child starting secondary school for example...she was never behind socially or in any of her milestones in her early years..she started school full time just 2 months following her 4th Birthday. My middle daughter was born in May and I don't believe it puts her anywhere in a different position to her sister or classmates who were born later in the year...my 3rd child is due in October and when you look at it on paper he/she will begin school a year after their older siblings did so they will be a month from turning 5 when they start school...I see it as a whole other year I get to hold on to my baby before they head into the exciting chapter of education...early years are so precious and I seriously often wonder how my older two were ever my babies as it's gone by so quickly.
Good luck ttc.
Me and my partner are in the same boat we don't want to have a baby in July or August as with his work as a farner hes right in the middle of harvest and we don't want him to miss birthdays. Every year as unless there is rain he works. So we're going to stop trying October and November we get married in October though so it might just happen who knows lol
Kiwirose,
I'm sorry if this offends you, but I'm quite shocked!! I think your OH is being a bit unreasonable! My birthday is 24th July (I joke that my birthday is 24/7 - my life is one long party!) and I'm ok. I was actually very gifted at primary school and moved up a year. I got nothing lower than a B at GSCE and A level and got a good degree. I now have a successful career. I think your OH is missing the most important point for any child / person - the most important thing is to be happy. That doesn't depend on when you're born. My son was born 2nd June and he's lovely and really happy. He's not the brightest in his class but he could ride his bike without stabilisers by the time he was 4 yrs and 4 months. Also, I loved that my birthday was ALWAYS in the school holidays. My birthday never fell on an exam, or mock exam, or school day - I could always do cool stuff.
There are advantages and disadvantages to whenever you're born. I liked being young because I felt the pressure was off. If I was the eldest in my year and not the best I would have felt under pressure.
Good luck in ttc whenever that happens for you xxxxx