how people cope after miscarriage
Just wanted to post as dont really have many people I can relate and talk to about what I've been through, basically me and my partner have been trying for a baby for 3 years, last year in September I got my first Bfp and as many women know seeing that line just makes your heart stop for a second and then it sinks in and your the happiest you have been! Well in my case that's exactly what happened, i have pcos so each month trying and getting a negative crushed all hope so when I took the positive test exspecting the worse like every other time and seen two lines come up I was overjoyed as were my partner! We was just so excited and as the weeks went by we started to get a few bits for the baby☺️ And started to tell family and friends, about 6/7 weeks in I started to get bad pains and went up to A&E and got treated like an abslote idiot while we was fearing the worst, we ended up walking out after the staff spoke to us with no respect and wouldn't perform an ultrasound sound to see if our baby was okay, we then went to see an out of hours doctor who only did an pregnancy test and told me that because I haven't had any bleeding that pains are normal so we didn't think anything else of it, we went to the midwives apointment and was booked in for our Dating scan all this time thinking that our baby was fine! It came to the day of the scan and we found out our baby was gone😞👼🏼 We were devastated and found it hard to deal with and would argue and snap at the tiniest of things, we split for awhile until we realised that we should be there for each other and be strong! we found it a little easier to cope with by hiding the things we bought for the baby for a little while until one day I wanted to show our angel of and made a memorial shelf in the living room for everyone to see, we both got tattoos and for a little while seemed a lot better, but then I see babies everywere I go people getting pregnant, bumps, baby adverts on the telly and my heart pulls and I feel so alone and that it's not fair to keep bringing it up to my partner so I suffer with it on my own! im sorry for the long story just needed to get it all out somewere, if anyone needs to talk or even shed a little hope please do! Because I'm going out of my mind with all this trying to consive and baby stuff and just feel a massive pressure building up! Thanks for reading if you managed to get through it all!❣
Replies
No one? Never mind I'm just going to delete it
I hope this works - come and join is on this thread http://www.madeformums.com/forum/trying-to-conceive/trying-to-get-pregnant-after-a-miscarriage-part-11/285063-24.html
I had my mc in April. I still find it so hard when I see people getting pg etc. You are not alone. The thread I've posted a link finish full of lovely ladies who you can chat to at any time. We've all been through mc and all support each other xx
Thanks for the reply! And I will deffo check it out and sorry to hear about your miscarriage it never gets easy I know that!xx
Lovemyangels, so sorry for your lost we have all experienced the hardship of losing our precious babies. The link to the group that you were given is where we all go for support rather it be venting because you feel like your emotions are all over the place or telling us your journey in ttc again. I do hope to see you chatting soon with us as I know the road ahead won't be as rough.
Sorry for your loss lovemyangels:( I'm on the thread above too after 4 consecutive miscarriages at 51/2 months , x2 at 6 wks and another at 12 weeks:/
Im now on cycle 16/17 after my lost D&C and seeing bumps is the hardest thing ever!
come join us we are a very friendly bunch 😘
I'm sorry got your losses. I just wrote on the other section fertility one. I was given methotrexate last week for an ectopic. 2 nd one in a year. I got a tattoo for the last one. I'm just numb now. Cried 3 weeks ago when we were first told. Then that's it. Just numb. Hoping I'm not going to be an ice queen forever x bumps are everywhere here. Next door has a massive one. I seem to get more angry than upset which I find wrong for me to do but can't help it. X
Sorry for your losses too Mickey it seems so unfair eh:(
wishing you lots of luck for a rainbow baby very soon 😘
Ps id love a tattoo aswell but need that deign when you look at it and just think yes perfect! I just want a small personal to me one:)
I'm so sorry for all your losses!😞It's such a cruel world we live in! And I know what you mean mickey85 I feel the same now I don't cry for awhile not because i dont want to just the fact I can't and then it will a build up and I just get in a bad state were ill cry for hours and just want to be left alone and that puts a strain on my relationship as my partner wants to comfort me and I just push him away!! And I will deffo have a chat on the post, just been a little busy at the moment, me and my partner breed African cichlids(fish) so not had much time to come on, but will deffo have a look and have a little comment! sending lots of baby dust to everyone and hope for sticky beans soon❤️
As for the tattoo idea I was exactly the same wanted one for awhile but never knew what to get, I saw an idea and changed it around and I absolutely love mine! its deffo helped with the emotional side x
Hey, I've just recently joined Made for Mums and came across this post. You aren't alone, I feel the same way you all do. I was with my ex for 6 years and we had been TTC for 2 years, nothing happened, we ended up spliting up for other reasons. I then started dating my now lovely partner (we're together three years) and nothing happened with him for 2.5 years either. I had spoken about this with my doctor on multiple occasions and because I'm in my 20's they kept telling me that it would "happen naturally", although they eventually agreed to do my day 3 and day 21 blood tests. On 10th May 2017, before I had any blood tests done, I had the heart stopping moment of doing a pregnancy test on the day my period was supposed to come and there it was...my first ever BFP! I literally started shaking and burst into tears, I never thought it would happen to me. Cut to 5 different brand positive tests later and me sitting in my doctors surgery on 12th May 2017 as I just couldn't believe it - my pregnancy being confirmed. I was the happiest I have ever been, although part of me was terrified in case my happiness was short lived. On 15th May 2017, I started spotting and having stomach cramps, so my boyfriend brought me to A + E. I had the cruelest doctor I have ever met who was so un-empathetic and un supportive. He didn't do an ultrasound, he took me into a room for 2 minutes to say there was nothing he could do, he told me to cancel my first booked midwifes appointment which was booked for 19th May because "another mother to be could use this appointment as I no longer needed it"...he never said the words miscarriage until my partner and I were walking down the corridor, in front of others and he causally said "it happens to one in four women".
The point of my long post is I understand everything that you are all saying. It seems like I'm getting angry at all happy pregnancy stories, why can others get pregnant without any fight? Without even trying hard? I was fighting with my boyfriend over the smallest things, although it's getting better as we have discussed everything openly. I haven't cried from the day the miscarriage happened because I don't want to spiral down that road again, I just want to hope and pray that our BFP happens very soon.
We have started TTC (wanted to have one period before trying due to midwifes recommendations) and have both started taking pregnacare pre conception tabs this month. I really hope that we all get positive news, especially after going through our miscarriages. I may of only been 6 weeks when it happened, but that was still 6 weeks of a miracle that I never believed would happen.
xx
Sorry for your loss Nicola:( I hope you get your sticky bean very soon 🍀🍀🍀
Ive got 3 children but I'be lost 5 it's a horrible stressful journey that ladies take for granted whom haven't experienced a mc! I hate hearing people moan about being fat, swollen ankles etc and I'm thinking I want to be fat with swollen ankles!! Stop bloody moaning and enjoy the fact that you are indeed preggers and not experiencing the stress of a loss!!
we will get there:)
Thanks you! We will get there, we have to stay positive
! I'm the same as you, it makes me so angry when people are complaining about morning sickness etc and all I can think is, I wish it was me! It's horrible being jealous and getting angry, I know it doesn't help anyone. It's something I need to work on, but hopefully, as you say, sticky bean will happen when they are ready!
Absolutely:) even my hubby says he wants me to be really sick and every symptom to be thrown at me so we know things are ok 😂
Hi Nicola I'm sorry to here that you went through that and I completley understand about the doctors at a&e because that's exactly what I got! he put me on a bed and started pressing on my swollen sore stumache then went out and shut the curtain and was talking to another member of staff and me and my partner could here everything he was saying! Saying that I hadn't been on my period for 3 weeks even tho he hadn't asked me a single question making me out to be deluded saying my pregnancy test wasn't convincing😑 So I got angry went to a female nurse who confined my pregnancy test was positive and he then contunued to try and make it out I was never pregnant so I walked out with my parter and ended up going to an out of hours doctor who did a test and told me that bleeding and cramps were normal in pregnancy so carried on thinking everything was okay only to find out at my dating scan that the baby was gone!! and i am the exact same I see people in the streets shouting and threatening there kids and I get so mad and feel like saying your so lucky to have the chance of being a mum and your child should be cherished!😑 and it's devastating seeing pregnant people walking about and seeing newborns everywere I go and I hate feeling like that! I just hope that it happens very soon and I get my miracle baby! And same for all you lovely ladies out there who deserve it more than anything in the world!! Thankyou for commenting❤️