Pregnant after miscarriage, when to tell husband

MeganV · Jan 17, 2020 6:38PM

Hi All,

Last year, my husband and I had a baby but lost it around week 6. We wanted the baby so much and got really heart broken. Yesterday I did a pregnancy test and got a positive. I was excited for 5 seconds and then got anxious immediately. The sad memories are still fresh, and I am not confident that this time it will be different. I know I will not tell families and friends until 4-5 months. But I am not sure when to tell my husband. The reason is I know he would probably react the way I reacted, happy but scared. I kinda want to wait til after first doctor appointment to make sure it is not a chemical and the baby has a heartbeat, so in case things don’t go well my husband doesn’t have to experience all the joy and then desperation. Anyone has similar experience can give me advice? I really appreciate your help!

MadDoda · Jan 17, 2020 6:42PM

I have been through this many times, and it's a hard decision, but I always tell because I can't imagine going through a mc alone. So I think it's personal, depending how you feel. I know it's scary and u want him to be happy, but as u said ur anxious. Maybe u need his support?

RememberToBreathe · Jan 17, 2020 7:09PM

Personally I’d share the news. You are in this together x

90schick · Jan 17, 2020 7:48PM

@meganv hi ,I could if wrote this ,had a miscarriage last june at 6 weeks this is our 7th cycle of ttc and I too got my positive yesterday at 10dpo , I understand sometimes you feel its safer to keep it to yourself etc and I too am anxious but I do think you need to share with husband soon if not straight away xx

MrsD90 · Jan 17, 2020 8:00PM

I couldn't imagine not telling my husband! We had a miscarriage and then successfully conceived and I didnt think twice about telling him when I got that BFP! You're in this together, it's both of your journeys! If god forbid something did happen again are you just going to keep it to yourself and carry on to protect your husband? I wouldn't be able to hide it! I would need my husbands support and think he would feel put out that I hadnt told him of the BFP. On the flipside, if it is a successful pregnancy this time (which I so hope it is for you!) Will your husband not be sad that he didnt know sooner? I think what I'm trying to say is how would you feel if it was you that wasn't told of the BFP?
Good luck to you I hope it's a happy outcome this time 😊

MeganV · Jan 20, 2020 3:22AM

Thanks ladies for all the kind words and support! I told my husband as you advised. He was so happy and excited. Unfortunately, I started to have cramps and spot since yesterday. My experience told me this is either a chemical pregnancy or an early miscarriage... Husband gives me such comfort by telling me he believes in me. He says he knows our turn will come and I will carry a baby to full term. I don’t regret telling husband I was pregnant, even though we got heart broken again together. It’s impossible to go through this alone. Sending all of you love~

Pregnant after miscarriage, when to tell husband

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