What is going on??

Hi Ladies

Well I was told to come here as I will get more response then over the miscarriage/ectopic room.

Anyway here is my story

I found out I was pregnant two weeks ago tomorrow and it was out first month of TTC so was over the moon but on the Thus I started having a light bleed(not much at all but there when I wipe) so I rang docs and he saw me and said I may be miscarrying :cry: and see how I go.
The next day I was not bleeding but I had a bit of pain so I rang doc and he sent me up the hospital where I they tested my urine(said I was not drinking enough) and gave me a blood test and was told to go back in few days for another one.
I went back and had another one on tTues at my docs as I could not get to the hospital Sunday and got the results Thus which said my HCG levels had lowered and I would miscarry and to do a test in two weeks time to see what the result is.
That afternoon I did start to bleed and had some cramps :cry: I rang the hospital yesterday and told them and they said if bleeding or pain get worse ring up if not as they said before do a test in two weeks. I bled a bit yesterday but nothing since yesterday evening so what the hell is going on?? I have tried ringing hospital but always busy :roll:. I am so angry the way I have been treated by them, I would of thought they would of least scanned me or something I would of been 6 weeks Thus :cry:
If I have lost my bean already then I need to know!! I am in limbo at the moment as I do do not know what is happening to my body! :\?
I have a pain when I try and go to the loo(number two)???

Gem x

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Posts

  • Hi hun, im really sorry that this is happening to you, and also sorry that you are being treated like this. I also had the same experience when I miscarried, I was told to just stay at home and if bleeding gets heavier than a period then to go in. The midwife had basically written me of without even examining me.

    it sounds like you may be miscarrying but without them examining you then you wont know.

    I know it feels horrible and you must be feeling alone right now. it does get better.

    if the bleeding gets heavy or painful go straight to hospital.

    xx

  • Hi hun,

    I think if you don't start bleeding heavily within the next week then definately go back to a&e and find out for sure whats going on.

    It's a terrible thing to go through but you're in the right place here as everyone is so understanding and lovely.

    I hope this ends for you soon hun!

    Lots of love and hugs
    xxx
  • I know I am miscarrying but I just want it to be over with now this is just so painful :cry:


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  • Gem,

    I am so so sorry to hear about the way you are being treated and for what you are going through. M/c is treated in such a cold way, It makes me furious every time!! :evil:

    How dare any medical professional tell you, you're going to miscarry, go home and wait!!! No support, no advice, no follow up!!! It's cruel and bad practice (I am a nurse) and it makes me furious

    Phone your hospital EPU on Monday morning! The reason I say Monday is because most hospitals have an early preg unit, and most operate Mon - Fri / 9am - lunch time. If you phone them or present at A&E first thing Monday, chances are they will scan you that morning. Tell them you have been told that your hCG is dropping and that you need confirmation of a missed miscarriage, tell them you are heartbroken and in despair and you need to know what is happening.

    If they don't offer you a scan, be firm! Tell them you want one. Tell them you need confirmation because if your baby has no HB, then you are entitled to be offered an ERPC as soon as possible. Ask for the nurse's name and say the words to them -Are you refusing to offer me a scan?' This will make them nervous. Tell them if they are refusing to see you and offer the ERPC operation then you will seek legal advice about medical negligence! You could also go to your GP Monday morning and have the same conversation if you prefer. Your GP also has the power to phone EPU and order and early scan for you. Again use the words -Are you refusing to offer me a scan?' even better take your OH with you and get him to say -Are you refusing to offer my wife a scan?' These words really get them thinking!!!

    Every woman has the right to choose how her miscarriage is managed, once it is confirmed, you generally have three options. You can choose an operation, medication to speed things up naturally, or just go natural and wait (This is called conservative management). The point is you should get to choose, not the hospital and it is proven by the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists that women who take control of that decision recovery better from the m/c emotionally than those who aren't given options.

    I know all this seems harsh but, I had to kick up a stink before I got the treatment that I wanted and being polite and trusting the professionals got me nowhere and having trust put me through undue misery. It is up to you what you choose, and you can choose conservative management, which is to wait and miscarry naturally, but in MHO the waiting is cruel and every time you have a heavy bleed you are left wondering if that is it? Is it finished? Is there still more to come? There are some ladies who do have just one very heavy bleed and it also depends how far along you are. I was 9wks 5 days, but I would advise an ERPC, it is quick, easy and you know at the end of it, everything has gone and your body will get back to normal in a few weeks.

    I was pushed down the conservative management route, in spite of the fact I'd requested an ERPC. The hospital said because I'd started to m/c naturally I should continue that way. This was a lie, I was still entitled to my ERPC. It was horrendous, I was bleeding so heavily that I ended up at A&E twice loosing so much blood and in agony, both times they gave me morphine and sent me back home, both times I thought it had finished, it hadn't. After 3 weeks I got an infection, I had to have loads of antibiotics, then they scanned me again and found I still had thick womb lining and some placenta left. I had to have an ERPC in the end anyway!! 2 weeks after that my cycle commenced again. It makes me so angry to think I went through my m/c for 3 weeks more than necessary, because of medical incompetence!

    Sorry for the long post, and I hope I haven't scared you, I just hate the thought of another women spending what is a sad, stressful time being angry, rather than feeling supported and being able to grieve. Just reading your post made my blood boil! I wish you lots of love and you never know, you could find out your bean is still strong and fighting!

    Good luck and feel free to ask me anything you want! FT xxx

    [Modified by: Fairythalia on July 04, 2010 12:07 AM]

  • Gem,

    Are you ok?? I'm worried I've freaked you out!

    If you read my m/c story (link below) you will understand why I feel the way I do about maltreatment of ladies having m/c. It is in a few parts so you have to scan through the thread to read the whole thing. Sorry if I upset you :\?

    http://www.babyexpert.com/chatroom/topic/157030

    I really hope your ok. ((((Hugs)))) xxxx
  • Hi gem, sorry to hear you're having no help from the medical profession, I think it's wrong they've left you to just get on with it. Although after finding our my hcg had begun to lower on Friday I was told to stay home & expect the bleeding to start & to do a pg test in a fortnight, but I think the way they told me was much nicer. Incidentally my bleeding started on sat morning.

    It's horrid and I hate that we have to go through this but we will come out the otherside of it! If your bleeding doesn't start in a day or two I would go to the epau for sure. Personally I feel like I can't start the emotional healing until the physical bit is over as every visit to the bathroom is a visual reminder.
  • I have wrote a update FT xxx
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