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I'm back, I think soooooo confused ?????.........
well hello ladies some of you will know me others wont but all advice from anyone is really welcome!!!
Just to recap had an ectopic last october waited 6 months to ttc again then hubby said no wanted a health issue of mine sorted first which it is now. All the while since before the ectopic actually i have been thinking about fostering. Eventually talked to OH about it who is as keen as me to do it, we have met with the social worker for our initial info session & we both still want to do it but the urge for another baby just wont go away!!!! i know we cant do both as we have 3 already & have been told by the social worker if i were to get pg then the application will be put on hold until a good while after bump is born. The whole fostering application can take up to 12 mths
by which time my youngest will be nearly 4. I wanted all my kids close togetherish & there is 2 years between all 3 of them. I feel that to have another baby when my youngest is off at school is kind of like starting again & it will end up being kind of like an only child which is exactly what i DONT want.
I am so bloody sick of reading about these poor kids left in abusive homes & fostering is the only way i can think i can help do anything about it, if there were more foster carers then kids in danger would probably be removed from abusive/neglective homes quicker, so now im thinking we have our own little last bean & then apply for emergency fostering where kids in danger that need to be removed quickly will be placed with us short term rather than taking on 1 child long term id like to help as many as i can. Does all this make sense/??? sorry its a very long post!!
Im so confused do I stop being so selfish & be grateful for my 3 & give 1 kid a chance of a normal life & loving family if i do that will i end up blaming that child for not having had my last baby??? or go ahead have bean no. 4 & go for emergency care??? I dont know what to do please help!!!![:\](https://forum.madeformums.com/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
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KJ.x
Just to recap had an ectopic last october waited 6 months to ttc again then hubby said no wanted a health issue of mine sorted first which it is now. All the while since before the ectopic actually i have been thinking about fostering. Eventually talked to OH about it who is as keen as me to do it, we have met with the social worker for our initial info session & we both still want to do it but the urge for another baby just wont go away!!!! i know we cant do both as we have 3 already & have been told by the social worker if i were to get pg then the application will be put on hold until a good while after bump is born. The whole fostering application can take up to 12 mths
by which time my youngest will be nearly 4. I wanted all my kids close togetherish & there is 2 years between all 3 of them. I feel that to have another baby when my youngest is off at school is kind of like starting again & it will end up being kind of like an only child which is exactly what i DONT want. I am so bloody sick of reading about these poor kids left in abusive homes & fostering is the only way i can think i can help do anything about it, if there were more foster carers then kids in danger would probably be removed from abusive/neglective homes quicker, so now im thinking we have our own little last bean & then apply for emergency fostering where kids in danger that need to be removed quickly will be placed with us short term rather than taking on 1 child long term id like to help as many as i can. Does all this make sense/??? sorry its a very long post!!
Im so confused do I stop being so selfish & be grateful for my 3 & give 1 kid a chance of a normal life & loving family if i do that will i end up blaming that child for not having had my last baby??? or go ahead have bean no. 4 & go for emergency care??? I dont know what to do please help!!!
?KJ.x
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Replies
Roisine OMG i certainly am no saint let me tell you its just something i'd like to do & I hope noone takes it up that i think anyone who dosent want to foster is selfish i re-read that & it didnt sound great so be assured girls that is NOT the case AT ALL!! fostering is for some & isnt for others. Im veering (sp?) more towards the have another of my own & then go for emergency as thats what we both want to help most with you know? somewhere safe they can bring any child to at any hour of the day or night without having to think gosh who have we available.
Adoption although great in theory isnt that easy in reality, not here anyway, it takes years to get a small child & there are way more childless couples more deserving than us waiting for a baby, there is no shortage of couples looking to adopt small kids. To go abroad costs thousands which we dont have & older children would not suit us i think it would upset the apple cart far too much with my own kids,but emergency care of an older child would be fine. Thanks for the suggestion though hon appreciate any replies.
Hubby just thinks im a nut!! Im a terror for chopping & changing my mind im so indecisive its not funny!! i think though i've made my mind up i run a maternity wear website & we have a big sale at the mo with very little stock in some styles & without even thinking I took a pair of jeans off because there was only one pair left & it was my size & i thought gosh i'll have them
KJ.x