Me And Bf Havin Some Space :(

Hey Ladies.
This is probably the lowest iv felt in a long time.
me and partner had a chat last night and decided we need to have some space to think about what we want. weve been arguing so much since i lost the baby. he also wants to wait to try again where as i know that having a baby is what i really want. im just gutted he doesnt feel the same. image weve been together nearly 3 years and to let him go is so hard but we have to have this time apart so we both can decided what we want.
the only way i can relax right now is to come on here and tell you ladies how im feeling cos i know youll listen. i cant talk 2 my parents as im not very close to them and so i just keep it all bottled up.
Sory for the depressing post i just needed 2 let it out image
claire xxx

Posts

  • Hi yummymummy. Sorry to hear you're feeling so low.

    Has your bf said why he wants to wait? Could it be that he's worried about you and doesn't want to see you go through this again so soon?


    When I had my ectopic I wanted to start again asap but couldn't due to the treatment I was given. But when I spoke to hubby he said he was glad in a way as he'd been so frightened seeing me in so much pain and the emotional effect it has on me.

    Could it be this rather than him not wanting a baby?

    We're all here to support each other so don't say sorry hun x x
  • yeah i think it is why and i do respect that its jus hard to accept cos its what i want and im sounding so selfish saying that but he doesnt know the feeling off being pregnant and having your baby growing inside you if you know what i mean???
    the arguments in the last 3 weeks since we lost our baby has been tooo much! were making each other unhappy but i just dont want to lose him aswell as our baby and he said he understands that but just needs time on his own to think what he really wants... iv just got to respect him and what he wants i spose. jsut really hard!
    you ladies really do keep me going! he got annoyed the other day cos he saw me logging on here and starting saying your not pregnant anymore so why go on there.. he doesnt understand that this is a website for not just pregnant ladies but for the women who have lost them too... hes not happy with me going on here but it really does help me so im not bothered what others think...
    im not myself at the minute anyways cos im stressing out about when my AF will arrive and i took a test couple days ago and its still saying pregnant cos my hormones are still high!.. yet again my bf doesnt understand all this even though he is nearly 30!!! i want to be back to my normal self
    xxx
  • yeah i think it is why and i do respect that its jus hard to accept cos its what i want and im sounding so selfish saying that but he doesnt know the feeling off being pregnant and having your baby growing inside you if you know what i mean???
    the arguments in the last 3 weeks since we lost our baby has been tooo much! were making each other unhappy but i just dont want to lose him aswell as our baby and he said he understands that but just needs time on his own to think what he really wants... iv just got to respect him and what he wants i spose. jsut really hard!
    you ladies really do keep me going! he got annoyed the other day cos he saw me logging on here and starting saying your not pregnant anymore so why go on there.. he doesnt understand that this is a website for not just pregnant ladies but for the women who have lost them too... hes not happy with me going on here but it really does help me so im not bothered what others think...
    im not myself at the minute anyways cos im stressing out about when my AF will arrive and i took a test couple days ago and its still saying pregnant cos my hormones are still high!.. yet again my bf doesnt understand all this even though he is nearly 30!!! i want to be back to my normal self
    xxx
  • Hi hun,

    Sorry to hear you're having a tough time of it, I agree with MP, perhaps talking to him will help you to understand why he feels he wants you to wait.
    It is stressful what you have been through and please remember we are here to support you through times like this.
    My hubs doesn't always understand the need to be on here but I always tell him the same thing, that I couldn't have got through our mc without the love and support from the wonderful ladies on here who have been amazing.
    Hugs xxx
  • Hes not the easiest guy to talk to. he had a bad childhood so he keeps himself to himself... he prefers not to talk about whats happened and jsut wants to forget it whereas i need to talk about it cos it helps me.. we both deal with it differently!
    i know what you mean by the support on here! your all lovely ladies and deifnately keeping me going right now image reading all the postive posts puts a smile on my face too image just waiting for this month to be over to be honest... hopefuly AF will turn up this week sometime and i can get back to normal image
    thanks again ladies image xxxx
  • heyu hun,
    Im kinda the other way around me and my bf are still together but he wants to try again now ( i had a miscarriage at 12+3 on monday-it was twins) but im just too scared atm. I already have twin girls who are 15month but they arent my partners biological children though he is in the process of adopting them hes been there since they were 4 weeks old. We have just had an offer accepted on a house so i can get out the lil flat im in but thia is all in prep for another baby this year which i dont know if i could want or handle. It's not that i dont wanna be pregnant again or to have a baby with him its just the sheer fear of losing it again it puts me off completely cos i feel so down and i feel its affecting my girls too....i said this to bf but he didnt get it and i dont get why waiting is a problem so i can see your bf's point if thats what it is thats stopping him fear is an awful thing as is grief and it comes out diff sm also likes to not talk about it and move on as theres nothing that can change it so just move on and forget it but how can i they were inside me and they made me ill not that i minded and being pregnant isnt easy or glam but its amazing and so so worth it in the end. i do want another and i guess nows as good a time as any since we made provisions when i found out pregnancy wasnt planned but still wanted....but im so so so so scared which i never was before i naively thought being young, healthy and having one healthy twin pregnancy that i would be totally fine and i think im in shock a lil bit that it happened to me.
    xxxxxx
    Hope you can sort your differences....Sam knows this site helps so hes not fussed on that luckily....
    xxxxxxxxxxx
  • Im so sorry to hear about you and your BF arguing. My hubbie doesnt talk alot and at first he wasnt keen on me coming on here but I explained how much it helped and after he had thought about it for a while he realised that it was a good thing.

    Your BF might be scared of going through the pain of losing a baby again and seeing you having to deal with it, men tend to put a brave face on it and carry on like normal but alot of time they are hurting deeply inside. My hubbie would listen to how I felt but would never talk about his own feelings but I have gone to bed early and heard him crying downstairs. He cant cry in front of me though, he is one of these alpha male types who NEVER shows his feelings. If i had gone downstairs to try and comfort him he would have turned away from me. I hurts sometimes that we cant share the pain but I understand he just cant do it. Maybe your BF is similar. Perhaps just dropping the subject of having another baby for a few weeks and promising not to talk about it might just help to clear the air between you. I know how desperate you are to start trying again but maybe some time out will do you both good. There is nothing worse than constantly arguing.

    I am waiting for first AF too. I am on day 37 and no sign yet but im hoping it will turn up soon

    Take care and I hope you can sort it out

    Jacqui
    xx
  • Hi honey

    Just wanted to say that my hubby also tends to deal with things by not thinking about them, and found it difficult to understand why I was still upset about the mmc months after it had happened. Infact one day he said to me "when are you going to be over this?" - he wanted an actual date!!

    So what I am trying to say is that perhaps some space is just what he needs to be able to make sense out of what has happened. Sometimes I think it must be hard for the men in our lives cos they are meant to be strong for us.

    I hope you are both able to sort out how you are feeling and come back together all the stronger for what you have been through.

    xxSara
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