How long have you been in this forum?

Hi Girlies,

Just wondering how long you've been in this forum?

I had a m/c in June 09 @ 5wks, but it was the month before my wedding so, it really didn't phase me that much at the time, I then got preg again and m/c in Jan @ 10 wks, which was the worst experience of my life!! I then had another BFP at end of March 2010 and m/c @ 5wks :cry:

So, it feels like I've been in here forever. I know there are some ladies who have been here about the same length of time as me and some who've been here even longer and I totally admire there PMA. :\)

We all have off days and no offence but it's getting a bit disheartening seeing new ladies jumping the BFP queue and I want to leave this forum! :\(

Don't get me wrong I am thrilled for all the ladies who've had a recent BFP, but it just makes me feel twinges of pain and I am sooooo jealous. I want one too! imageops:

I just feel like I've served my time, come on fairs, fair. Please can God wave the BFP stick in a systematic order of first in first out! :roll:

Anyone else feel the same? :\?


  • I am here since end of oktober, beginning of november 09. We had a mc at 12.5 weeks and it was the worst experience of my life. We tried straight away but had a mc at 4.5 and 5 weeks in february and march. Tomorrow my af is due and I know it is coming. (have been feeling hungry and can eat everything which is my only sign normally it is coming)

    On to the next month. And I know what you feel. A mc is hard for everyone, but can't help feeling jaleous of people getting into this forum and out before me. I know it is stupid and I am extremely happy for everyone with a bfp, but a part of me can't help but feeling jaleousy.

    The worst part for me is that with my lo I got pregnant first month. (we started on cd17, which should have been after ov, but still managed to conceive) It took us two months after he was born to fall pregnant again. (against all odds with breastfeeding and such) and now it seems to be taking forever. We started in july last year, so we are almost trying for a year and I am here for 7 months. Just feels unfair.
  • Hi girls, I believe I am one of those girls you are chatting about.I am truly sorry for the heartbreak and torment you are feeling right now.I too felt upset and disheartend when I read peole who are having healthy pregnancies. But yes I got a BFP 4 weeks after but can I guarantee this will be a sticky bean, no. I've had 1 miscarriage which hurts like hell. I cannot imagine going through what you have and I hope I won't but you never know. Please don't make me feel that i shouldn't be on here coz I was a newcomer, I came for support a nd that's what I have got from you lovely ladies. I am extremely nervous and paranoid about this one too. I hope that we all have healthy babies one day,I want to stick around on this forum as who knows what might happen. I understand that you need to vent xx x
  • Sorry jen, but this thread isn't about you or any of the other ladies who have had a fabulous BFP. I wrote on your thread the other day, what wonderful news your BFP was and congratulated you.

    It is very unfair of you to say

    ...Please don't make me feel that i shouldn't be on here coz I was a newcomer...

    I can't make anyone feel anything?? Newcomers are always welcome and supported, just as we were when we arrived.

    The thread is about the frustration of miscarriage AND long term TTC and how it feels painful when others have a BFP. How it feels like everyone else is getting preg except us. These feelings, in no way shape or form mean that I or anyone else doesn't want you to have a BFP?? It just means we want one too, and feel disheartened.

    Maybe you are feeling over sensitive because of all the preg hormones!! I too hope your bean is a super sticky one! xxxx :\)
  • Same as Fairyhalia. I am happy for everyone who has a bfp, I am sorry for everyone who ever had to go through a mmc or a mc. It is not fair for anyone, it is hard on everyone. Man, female, young, old and even relatives. (my MIL is devestated that we had a mmc)

    But besides being happy I am also jaleous of everyone who manages to get a bfp. The girls who where here when I joined are almost all moved over to pregnancy after mc, even the girls that joined at the same time. |Every day I see new people coming in and it breaks my heart, but at the same time I see people leave every day and it gives me a little bit of hope. At the same time I have the feeling it is a bit unfair. Nothing against anyone who got a bfp, it just feels like I am in the back of line for another child. And yes eventually we do get our baby, all of us will. Doesn't make the journey towards it easier though.

    Again, nothing against anyone who gets their bfp straight away. It willl be an anxious time. And that is not what this is about. It is about the feeling of slightly left behind everyone else. And every month you have hope that it is gonna happen and every month af arrives it is crushed again.
  • Wow how weird. I dip in and out of here precisely because I get upset and disheartened by the BFPs!!
    I have 2 DDs who were conceived within 2 months of trying and last year we again conceived within 2 months but sadly lost it at 11 weeks. It was truly awful but the support from this forum helped enormously and I hope I was helpful to people in the couple of months after before I felt I had to leave for a bit.
    For me age isn't on my side as I'm 42 now (my girls are 15 and 7 so I was quite a bit younger when I had them!!) but it is still frustrating that I fell so quickly 3 times and now after mc in December it hasn't happened image
    AF appeared early this month which has obviously been really frustrating especially as it seems that every week another mum at the school announces their pregnancy image I came on here to have a bit of a selfish rant about how crap I feel and this thread was top of the page!
    So yes, Fairythalia and Breighlin I totally feel the same!

    Jencan'tdecide - hun nobody was having a go at those lucky enough to have a BFP and imo your post was a little rude and defensive for no reason. This part of the forum is for people who are ttc after loss and if we can't share our thoughts, fears and opinions here with those who feel the same, where else is there? It is totally scary and overwhelming to feel anything negative towards others and personally I think it is much better to get it out in the open and find you are not alone and indeed normal for feeling that way than to bottle it up and feel like a monster. Do you see what I mean?
    I am always so happy for my friends that fall pregnant but I still can't help feeling why not me? Then I feel like such a horrible person image

    My 'confession' is that I am absolutely terrified of getting BFP as there seem to be so many people having more than one mc. I'm not sure I could cope with it happening again. I know that plenty of you have (Fairythalia for a start!) and I think you are so incredible and brave and wish I could wave a magi wand of sticky baby dust for you.
  • Hi everyone! I've been here since January and every month that goes by feels harder and harder. I too fell disheartened when I read about everyone's BFP, I feel that my turn will never come. I'm so pleased for everyone that does get a sticky bean but it's hard to push the jealousy aside. I guess all we can do is keep trying....

  • The witch arrived a few hours ago, so am out for this month too. On to month 12 now. One positive thing is that I can go out next week and have a few drinks when a friends comes over. (trying to look at the bright side of things) But I much rather was pregnant. Glad I am not the only one who feels the way I do. I wish I could switch the green eyed monster off on occasions.

  • Hi Ladies,

    I know how you feel- not this forum, but the TTC forum-I have been in there for a year now. I had a chemical in August last year and should have been the first in the May 2010 forum (I remember after getting a BFP I was going to post in there and didn't want to be the first one!) and they have mostly had there babies now. Then I had a mc in April. My DD was concieved without even trying-on a one off without contraception it took my a while with my older ds-but even that was only 6/7 months and we weren't trying as such-we just stopped contraception. I had no idea when I was ovulating or anything. So...stupidly I thought it would be easy this time as well and it has been far from easy! I have seen some people appearing in planning and TTC who are now planning #2 and I remember them the first time round.

    So ladies I feel your pain as well to an extent.

    I hope we all get our super sticky BFP's soon. Serephina I feel the same as you...terrified about getting another BFP even though I really really want it!

    Lots of love ladies xxxx
  • Hi girls

    Sorry to G/C but I just wanted to say, I totally understand how you feel, I know I've only been on the forum for 5 months since mc in Jan and I count myself really, really blessed to have just got my BFP. I think you are all brave and wonderful, and I truly wish all of you every success in getting your BFPs too, don't give up and personally I think a bit of frustration and green eyes is 100% natural - after all I still can't go into DI Sept cos that makes me sad and jealous.

    Anyway, hope I haven't offended anyone, just wanted to say I understand xx
  • Hi ladies,
    I SO know how you feel. I've been here since Jan, when we first found out our baby may not have survived. I really try not to, but I do feel really jealous of people who have got their BFPs. It doesn't seem fair sometimes, and it isn't fair. I want a baby so much.
    It also feels unfair that my body is in no way back to normal, and so I don't even have the hope of TTC again successfully at the moment.
    Big hugs to all of us xxx
  • Hey girls,

    Its good to know we can all relate to each other and we must stay positive. :\)

    Breighlin, I so sorry your out mate :\(

    I'm really not offended by anyone :\) and equally hope no one has been offended by the thread.

    Feel the love girls!! ;\)

    We're a strong bunch and I am confident that one day, we will all get a little baby (or two!) in our arms to hold xxx image
  • I have been here since jan and the closer I get to my edd in July the more disillusioned I become! One thing that keeps me going on down days is all you lovely ladies!!! cd2 it will be this month!!!
  • Hi,

    I absolutely understand how you are feeling. I joined here in Jan after my mmc and the support I received got me through some very hard times. I am still waiting for my BFP and don't expect it just yet. Since my ERPC my periods are twice as long and much, much more painful but each month they get more and more like they used to be. I still don't feel back to normal yet.

    It is only natural to feel jealous of other's BFPs even though we are also thrilled for them. I wouldn't wish this pain on anyone - including myself!

    I have taken a big break from here because the pain of others BFPs were getting me down - not because i feel I deserve it more, just that I deserve it TOO!

    I am sitting at work now crying because I've just seen a card the children have made for a woman starting maternity leave on Friday. Again the wave of jealousy got me but not because I'm not happy for her, because I truly am.

    It's hard girls , but we'll get there in the end.

    Keep strong, and for those who are growing a little been - keep sticky!

  • I completely relate which is why I don't come on as often as I used to. I had my ectopic is September and onto month 5. Today is my due date too.

    Jen, I think you misunderstood the post. Feeling devestated about other peoples pregnancies when you have been ttc a long time is uncontrollable. It is A reminder you are not pregnant not that you wish that other people didn't have their bfp.

    As you see we have all been on this amazing supportive forum for a long time and not once have I seen a post looking for an arguement. There is ttc and pregnancy for that!

    Fairythalia, I completely understand what you mean and I think the bfp fairy should give us a bloody break and give us our babies!x x
  • There is a BFP fairy out there?? Where is she and how do we catch her!!
  • Hi, I'm quite a newbie, joined a week or 2 ago and have been lurking a little bit since!!

    I just wanted to say what a touching post this is, we all want to have babies so much and its just heatbreaking that people have been here so long waiting for their bfp.

    I really hope you all get your bfp's very very soon and super sticky beans!! xx
  • Just to say I got AF on 28th so I'm out. Over to June which will be month 18 of TTC! Grrr! x
  • Oh balls fairythalia! Christ, this ttc is just crap isn't it? Next month will be a year for me with an ectopic and a 3 month break to show for it. Very tempted to move over to lttc as I agree with your op totally. Maybe we should have our own group "ttc after mc/ectopic and getting a bit posses off!" catchy hey!

    Big hugs, I'm not going to say PMA as I'm beginning to despise it as muh as relax and it will happen! x
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