Totally Fed Up

I'm so fed up today. Feel really low as would have been 12+1 today and it's just hit me really hard as it's such a big milestone.

Don't feel myself. In laws have invited us round for dinner but I can't face it as every word out of their moth is how wonderful our nephew is, what a joy he is, what he has done every minute of the day ect! I feel like a total bitch as I love my nephew so much but i'm just in no mood to have a running commentary on the joys of parenthood when my baby didn't even make it to 8 weeks.

To make matters worse I've had a real go at hubby as he's just so useless with money it drives me mad. Don't get me wrong he doesn't spend it recklessly, he doesn't even buy himself a pair of socks, it's just he's so bad at managing it.

We have a joint account for food and as he drives he does the shopping and mainly uses the card. I went to cash point so I could buy some fruit from fruit stall as it's important I eat well after ectopic and it's overdrawn by about ??10, 3rd month in a row. He just does food shopping woithout checking there's cash in.

I organise all teh savings, all the bills, all the direct debits and have even tried to get his finances in order and he can't manage this one thing. And he forgot to take the wheelie bin out this morning and has the cheek to say he'd show me how to do it!

I love him dearly but it's like having a little kid. God help us when i do get pregnant and don't have my salary!

Sorry for the rant girls, just had to get it out!! x x x

Posts

  • Hi Hun

    Im sorry you are feeling so low. it is very hard when the milestones come round so its totaly understandable.
    I sadly had my second Mc last week & i would have been 12 weeks exactly on christmas day! so im absolutely dreading it this year.

    Dont worry about the rant, it helps sometimes just to get the frustration out.

    Hope you are feeling better soon hun & you are able to feel more positive. We are all here for you. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Aw hun, it's a tough tough life isn't it? I'm dreading xmas becus of everything that's happened this year image would've been due at the beg of Feb. and i really really hope to be pg by then but my one proper cycle following my first AF after the mmc has been 50 days long!!! GGRR

    As for the hubby and money situation mine used to be really really bad! i too manage bills etc but i also organise the food shopping, we have a joint savings account but thats it, he has slowly gotten better though but still goes on odd sprees every now and again. i too feel like ranting every now and again so don't worry, Isn't it soon that you get to start ttc again? xx
  • Oh Mafia, so sorry you are feeling down today. It's only natural though - as you said, today is a milestone for you. My advice would be to acknowledge how you feel and allow yourself to have these feelings - it's the only way you will be able to start to move on. It's totally understandable that you would want to avoid company this evening - especially company that involves talk of little children. I'm sure they will understand if you would prefer to stay in tonight.

    Don't worry about ranting to us - we all do it and we are all here for each other when we do! You have helped me in the past, so now it is my turn to help you.

    Take care

    BIG KISS Sara xx
  • Thanks girls! I did reply earlier but don't where it has gone!

    Hubby gone to get the roast dinner from them to eat here! I haven't spoken to him about how I feel yet. Just texted to say all new words nephew can say, I can't escape it!

    I'm such a cow as I love my nephew so much but they are all obsessed by him to point where they can talk of nothing else, v suffocating at times. I know it's just me being v sensitive today, they're just happy and I'm not!

    x x x
  • Mafia you're not alone on that front! My niece is 3 years old and from the moment my sister in law conceived she has been all my outlaws can talk about. I have always found it suffocating, right from the start. The way they talk you'd think she'd given birth to the next step in human evolution. My mil is especially bad. She will go on and on and on for hours about some trivial thing my niece did that day, like it's the most profound experience of her life. It is soooooooo boring! And of course she meets every milestone quicker and better than any other child, and is soooooooo clever, and soooooooo advanced for her age. Poor child will end up stressed out before she is 5, the amount of pressure that is put on her!

    So don't worry about that one - I think it goes with the territory of being grandparent!
  • Hi MP,

    I hope you're feeling a bit better now. Just wanted to share with u something my husband & I are trying re money as we kept going into our overdraft. We both have a ??100 float in our accounts and joint account which we are not allowed to touch if we go into the ??100 then we have to repay it from the following month's living expenses. It's been really hard but we take out enough money to last 2 weeks and use this for food etc & I'm trying to use my card only in emergencies. We've been doing it for a few months and it's making me much more aware of what i'm buying. As for the in laws it's written in the marriage contract that they're supposed to do your head in!!! Just smile nod and then come on hear to vent,

    Pam
    xx
  • I had my ERPC on the day I would have been 12 weeks.... MC is cruel and the sense of loss never goes away even with a BFP. It's so hard when people talk non stop about their LO's. My SIL is 6 weeks ahead of what I would have been and all we heard about after our MMC was about her 20 week scan. People just aren't sensitive if it hasn't happened to them, they just don't understand.

    Hugs x
  • I hope you feel better soon huni

    The milestones are incredibly hard, we could've had either a 4 month old, been due on the 17th Feb or be 20+3 today & due 27th March!!

    Dont know how we all cope but we somehow find the strength even after a bad day or two.

    It wont be long till well be ss together everyone else will hopefully have migrated as much as it would be nice to do it with them.

    My oh can be similar with money dont get me wrong he's good but sometimes he likes to splash out a bit too much when I would rather save.

    Hope you enjoyed your roast & have had an evening of cuddles.

    Love & hugs to you sweetie xxx
  • Im sorry you are feeling this way MP!! Big hugs!!

    I know how you feel about milestones!! I would have had a 7 month old now if it hadnt of been for ectopic. I dont think you will ever forget, it will just get easier as times goes on.

    I can sympathise about money situation!! My OH never checks b4 buying things which always results in being overdrawn!! MEN!!! xx

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