Hello, can I please join you.

Hello ladies.
I am not actively ttc at the moment but would like to join you if i may.
I had a 'natural miscarriage' on Sunday night at 7&1/2 weeks. It was my first much longed for pregnancy and i am devestated at the moment.
A few of the ladies in DIS advised me to join you in here as you are all very supportive and from what i have read so far they are right.
At the moment i just want the bleeding to stop, luckily since yesterday it seems to have settled a bit. I then want to get pregnant again ASAP. Do you think this is wise or is it just a reaction to loss. I don't think i have ever felt this low in my life and i have been through a lot in the past. Does it ever end??
Balou Bear x.


  • Balou Bear,

    Firstly I am very sorry for your loss. It's an awful thing to happen - so unfair!

    It's natural to feel like this now, and it will be hard but it does get easier to deal with although you will find you have up days and down days. All I can really say is go with your feelings. Don't try to hide how you feel. This is a devestating thing to happen and you need time to grieve and come to terms with what is happening.

    Unfortunately a mc is not something that happens quickly and you need to give yourself time. When I had mine ( I had a mmc, found out at my 12wk scan) I really, really wanted to be pregnant asap. I still do! Although I waited for my first AF to come before 'trying properly'. I'm now on CD6 of my first cycle since my mmc and I feel 'okay' most of the time.

    Do you have an OH or anyone you can talk to?
    Have you been to your GP?

    Sending you lots of hugs hun

  • Hi Baloubear, I had a missed misscarriage which I found out about at my 12 weeks scan last thursday, I had an EPRC on Saturday and I am still bleeding too which I hate. I cant wait for the bleeding to stop and every morning am hoping that that day it will start getting lighter and end. I too am desperate to try again so i know how you feel, it seems to be an all consuming thought at the moment. Im very confused as to start trying or wait a while.

    This has been the worst time of my life and also feel really low. Sometimes it is hard to talk to people who have not been through it. I had a text today from a friend asking if 'I was better now' as if I had just had a routine op and needed some recovery time. I know she meant well but it is not something we can just get over like that!

    Take care of yourself and know we all understand where you are at here, everyone here all really supportive
  • Hello hun

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I would echo what Opalfruit has said, it does take time & it's something I think you never get over but it does get easier in time. You do need to be kind to yourself & give yourself the time to greive for you loss.

    I agree anyone who hasnt been through this cant begin to imagine how hard it is but obviously mean well.

    Trying again is a personal choice, with our 1st mmc I didnt even think about ttc again straight away as was in such a state & I just wanted to be close to my oh more than be actively trying, we have sadly had 4 mc & have gone frm wanting to try again straight away to waiting for test results etc I must admit the break from it all has done the world of good. You'll know when you feel ready & strong enough hun.

    Do come & talk to us the support here is amazing & I dont know what I'd do without these ladies. xxxxx
  • Hello sweetheart,
    I read you posts in DIS and I am so sorry for your loss. We are a lovely bunch of ladies so please lean on us whenever you need to.
    I too had a natural mc over xmas and 8 weeks later it is getting easier, I have been back and forth to EPU as it was a suspected ectopic, it wasn't thankfully but have bleed for much of that time after the found a cystic area.
    As Opal fruit said take your time hun, we are also desperate to try again but have had to give my body time to get back to 'normal'
    Sorry you had to join us (in a nice way) but please feel that you can rant/scream/cry/ask a million questions as the lovely ladies on here are wonderful xxxx
  • HELLO first i would like to say sorry for your loss....

    its normal for you to feel this way, I couldnt stop crying for the first few days and i felt so abnormal but believe it is normal and it will get better....

    I am the same as you with the ttc as soon as possible and this is only natural too... i wanted to try again straight..

    I hope things go well for you... let us know how you get on ...

  • HI Balou Bear,

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

    Like a lot of ladies here I can understand how you feel after my own MC.

    I'm not sure I'm in a great place to give you advice right now, but this board is so supportive and you are not alone. Sometimes it seems like the friends I make on here are always with me, holding my hand and helping me to cope. They and I will be there for you too.

    BS xx
  • hey, sorry you have had to join us image
    we are all here for you.
    my reaction after my miscarriage in dec was that i just wanted to be preg again! i have had 1 AF since and am now trying again image
    i know our next babies wont replace the last one, but i just want to be preg again!
    good luck when you do ttc again image
  • Hi hun, I'm so sorry you had to join us. I just want to echo what the other ladies have said, we are all here for each other so anytime you need a chat, cry, rant or just a virtual hug you know where we are.
    Time does help ease the pain and I know how you feel about just wanting to be pregnant again, I had my natural mc in December and it's all I've wanted since, I started trying again immediately but it's really up to you when you start ttc again, only you know how emotionally ready you would be for it all.

    Sending big ((hugs)) to you hun xx
  • really sorry to see you over here baloubear. i am in a very similar position to you. this was our 1st baby. we had been lucky to conceive in our 2nd month trying. but found out at 6+5 that the heart beat was only 66, and then at 7+5 that the heart had stopped. i didnt have any bleeding so 1 weeks ago i had a d&c (ercp). with the d&c i havent had much bleeding, but when i do bleed it is quite painful. i want to ttc again asap, although i know deep down that i am not ready emotionally for that yet - it has only been 1 week. i have a r/v appt at the hospital next week so will see what they say about ttc. have you got any kind of r/v? at the start (which for me was when we found out the heart rate was 66) i had mostly bad days, but since my d&c, i have had a mix of good and bad so i am sure this must get easier in the end. you do what you feel is right for you with ttc. im sure your body wont let you conceive until it is ready, so just make sure you are emotionally ready first.
    thinking of you,
    *hug* Jen
  • Thank you everyone for your kind replies.
    I'm sorry to see the amount of people who have been through this heartbreaking time but it is nice to know i'm not alone.
    I feel a bit better today. I think it will be so much easier when the bleeding goes as I will feel i am able to move on then.
    I havent had a scan or anything. Apperently it is usual for everyting to go and if the bleeing settles you can consider everything is passed.... how long it is supposed to take to settle i don't know!
    Anyway i am hopefully gong on holiday next week so if it all settles i will have a relaxing time, time to recover and then try again.
    I am struggling with work- only had 2 days off and no-one except my boss (who is now on holiday) knows what has happened and apparently i look really well so everyone thinks i was skiving. Makes me want to sout at them and shake them Grrrr!!
    Oh well, weather the storm and look forward to a holiday image
    Thanks again and for letting me rant and moan.
  • So sorry to hear about your loss. Your in the right place to have a good old rant and moan..... it is all well accepted here.

    We just booked a holiday too, going to Lanzarote at the end of April. Just what we both need after this awful experience.

    Glad your starting to feel better, I am still having good and bad days, being back at work has helped alot, keeping me busy. Im sure we will both be on here soon TTC and going through that together too.

    Take care x:\)
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