Advice-please-from-you-lovely-ladies

Hi girls
I have been following your stories and pop in here quite regularly to see how you're all doing and my hearts really go out to you all.

This is s bit awkward but you all seem lovely so hoping you could help.

My friend has had 2 miscarriages, 1 no heartbeat, 2nd was embryotic(sp)
she has been TTC her 2nd child unsuccesfully since last MC over a year ago now and we are all due to meet up in less than 2 weeks when i will be 10 weeks PG.
She doesn't know yet and I am sure she will be pleased for me, (my 2nd baby), but devastated none the less.
and I wanted to tell her before we meet so she has time to digest it rather than face to face with all our other friends.
I would have preferred to wait til after 12 week scan but am showing already and they will all just know.

If this was you, how would you prefer to hear the news? Phone, email? any other advice?

thanks
x

[Modified by: emmum2b on 14 July 2010 15:34:28 ]

Posts

  • Oh your poor friend. I dont really know how I would feel so cant answer. My best friend did give birth 2 weeks after I lost mine and I didnt feel bad at all. Just happy for her (which surprised me).
    Sorry im no help just wanted to say what a thoughtful friend you are xxx
  • Babylove
    that must have been difficult but glad all was ok for you.
    I guess everyone reacts very differently.
    During my first pregnancy my husbands cousin's GF who was due a month ahead of me lost her baby at 22 weeks after going into premature labour. So that was also very tricky for her and me. She does now have a beautiful baby girl.

    I am just aware of everyone else's reactions when they are going through difficult times.

    I am dreading it to be honest but know I can't put it off.

  • Emmum, congratulations on your pregnancy. If it were me,I'd try and meet ur friend beforehand to tell her personally. I'd tell her you don't want to upset her but you have something to tell her. At least you're there if she needs a hug or a cry.

    I've had 2 miscarriages since march so I know it will be hard for her but be honest. She's your friend and she'll be happy for you. Good luck! X
  • srus2710
    thanks for your reply and so sorry to hear about your miscarriages.
    Would love to meet her face to face but she lives 2.5 hours away and don't think it'll be possible but can try. x
  • my friend got pregnant at the same time as me and i miscarried. she told me by text when she was 12 weeks pregnant as she knew i had miscarried. i appreciated that as a few hours later she'd announced it on facebook. i wouldnt have reacted well i dont think d=face to face as i was very upset. it was, for me and mc following a chem preg and it was her second baby after etting pregnant first month of trying for the second time. either email or text, then say you'll phone meet her soon, ie when she's ready. hth
  • ***Calleigh***
    thanks
    that's the one think that worried me about telling her face to face, if she just wanted to have her own personal cry with her husband and him be there for her then she probably won't appreciate it. And having to drive home after as I couldn't drive over 2 hours on my own with my DD we'd have to meet half way.x
  • a good friend of mine found out she was preg a month after our MC. i found out through my hubby as we are close friends as couples. I wouldn't go face to face if she'd have a long drive on her own afterwards. just try to time your phonecall or email so she'll be with her hubby when you tell her, as like you say, she may want to have a little cry on his shoulder.
  • Hey,

    Congratulations on ur pg!

    After my mmc in march my friend was dreading telling me how many of our mutual friends were pg but I took it very well and was chuffed 4 them.

    As the others have said I wouldnt tell her face to face if she lives so far away. Maybe over the phone would be best as its more personal than a txt or email and maybe do it when her oh is around so she has sum support if needed.

    Hope it goes ok when u tell her - dont worry to much about it, she maybe alot stronger than u think x
  • thanks everyone.
    good luck to you all
  • Hello,

    Your friend will really appreciate you putting so much thought into her feelings. I'd recommend texting her before hand and following up later with a phone call. she'd hate to cry at you over your happy news, so it would give her the chance to get her 'happy face/voice' out for you.

    Congratulations.
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