When to start ttc?

I am a bit in a dilemma and would like some advice.

99% of me wants to be pregnant again. (small part says that it will happen again and that I should take some time away from it, but at the moment I just want to be pregnant again) I had an ERPC last friday and I feel physically fine. But the nurse who discharged me was saying that I should wait atleast 3 weeks with intercourse. (the information booklet said as soon as you feel comfertable with it, but to wait a period before trying for baby) Bleeding stopped, or atleast it is very lightly and only little bit ends up on a pad. (really really little)

How many people did wait for the following period? How many people did try straight away? Nurse was saying it was against infection and such and to be carefull. She also mentioned not to go swimming for three weeks. (information booklet said as soon as bleeding stopped you can go) If it was just for myself I would not go swimming, but my lo has baby swimming and I need to be there and I it is one of the things I look forward to and not doing it might make me feel even worse about myself. (already feel a terrible mum for being so self centred at the moment)

I have not yet discussed this with my oh. I mentioned trying for a baby again, but that was just after the ERPC and he wanted to wait around 6 months. He is really scared I will get depressed and wants me to grieve. Although I know he would nothing else than me being pregnant again, he is just trying to protect me. He is afraid of mentioning it to me.

Why do they advice to wait a period? is it just for dating purposes? Or is there another medical reason. Is there anything I need to know? I know I should have asked it in hospital, but it was the last thing on my mind that time. I just interested in others opinions.

Posts

  • Hi Breighlin,
    I remember you from the may board, I'm so so sorry for what you've gone through.
    I had my mc 4 weeks ago now and although was completely distraught, really wanted to just be pregnant again. I didn't however have ERPC so didn't have any restrictions with starting to try again other than waiting for the bleeding to stop.
    I think they advise waiting for a period for dating reasons. As I was advised by the lovely ladies on this forum, just take it easy and wait until you feel ready. I felt ready pretty quickly I think, and have started trying again even though I've not had a period in the meantime. But I think it is all based on you and your husband and how you're both recovering from your loss.
    Hope this helps a little,
    Big hugs xxx
  • waiting is just for dating purposes and BD'ing should def be avoided until after the bleeding has totally totally stopped! We decided to ttc again straight away but now starting the 3rd cycle after my mmc. you have to decide what is right for you. Everyone is different! xx
  • I have the feeling being pregnant might help me get over this loss. The hardest part about hearing about our mc was that I still felt pregnant. I still had morning sickness and after we found out I actually thought I felt flutters.

    I know it happens and such. I am just wondering if there is an increased risk of another mc when you start without waiting for a period. I don't think we will be trying trying, with both we just stopped using protection and just let nature take its course. I like that approach rather than needing to have intercourse on specific times.

    I know my periods are regular and come probably quite quickly. When Michael was 10 weeks (4 weeks after I stopped bleeding from birth) I had my first period and from that moment it was 28 days. Strangely enough I was still breastfeeding and was hoping my period would not return that quickly.
  • HI honey

    Firstly, you are not being a bad mum because you are having a hard time and thinking about yourself. By allowing yourself to work through your feelings you will become a stronger person and so a better mum. So don't beat yourself up about that!

    I had an ERPC at the end of September. I didn't even read the leaflet they gave me as I was in such a daze. I had a little bit of a bleed which stopped after a couple of days. Then a few days after that I had a period (I think it was a period anyway) which lasted a little bit longer than usual. So we had sex again about 2 and a half weeks after the procedure. But then I got the most painful bout of cystitis I have ever had - I had to have a course of antibiotics to get rid of it. So I imagine that that is why the nurse advised you to wait a few weeks before having intercourse (perhaps I should have read the leaflet!).

    When my mum had her miscarriage (about 25 years ago) the advice was to wait 6 months to allow the lining of your womb to recover, but now the advice is different. Most doctors advise waiting for one real af, for dating purposes, but lots of midwives say that you don't have to wait at all. I have read on the internet that you should wait 2-3 cycles before trying again, to allow yourself to recover physically and emotionally.The advice doesn't seem to be different for those of us who had an ERPC or D&C. On the swimming front - you could give NHS direct a ring, they might be able to help you.

    But I think that it is all down to personal choice, and there is no "one answer fits all" to this question. Some ladies feel ready to start again straight again, but that wasn't right for me so I have given myself time (we will start ttc again in December). Like you I am desperate to be pregnant again but am also really worried that it may happen again. This was my first pregnancy so I have no concrete proof that my body is able to carry a child to full term, which is a massive worry for me. There aren't any answers I'm afraid, but I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone and that we all have the same worries and fears.

    Look after yourself
    xxx Sara

  • I have no proof my body will be able to carry full term. Michael was 6 weeks early, waters broke 7 weeks early. So I already felt quilty about not given him the best start in life. Fortunate he only was jaundiced for about a week, but it was quite bad. (we had three peads on his case and he just did not want to drink enough)

    The leaflet does say you can resume intercourse whenever you feel ready, but to use a condom when you are still bleeding. To me that means when you stopped bleeding you can just have intercourse again. The nurse that discharged me on the other hand told me to stay clear of intercourse and swimming for 3 weeks. But don't have to wait longer than that.

    So it is in fact conflicting advice. I might give NHS direct a call when my oh is in from work. Looking after a lo and the phone don't go together.
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