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fed up :cry:
Hi there,
Sorry girls but I really need a moan and don't have anyone else to land it on...
I'm currently on CD39 of my second cycle since my D&C. I know some people have been waiting much longer but my first cycle was 31 days and I hoped I might be back to how my cycles used to be. I'm so fed up of waiting for it to arrive. I know I'm not pregnant for many reasons - a BFN a week ago but mainly because I just don't feel pregnant. Last time I KNEW, even before I took the test. I went for a smear yesterday afternoon and the nurse told me I should wait till af arrives as I could be pg - even though I know I'm not that sort of upset me as it gave me hope...I feel like I don't want to have any hope as I'll just end up disappointed. Not the nurses fault I know, I'm just being ridiculous.
I've just had a stupid row with my partner too which has upset me. He's drawn a line under the mmc and is back in the frame of mind of -it'll happen when it happens' (as I was before I got pg the first time) but I'm so far from being back there. I feel like I'm losing my motivation to do anything at the moment. My oh's family are over from SA and so we've got family stuff on with them for the next 3 weekends - I just want to crawl into bed and hide. They've brought their 2 kids over with them (1 & 4) and I was so looking forward to telling them I was pg when they came over, then even after the mc I hoped I might be pg again before they arrived but nothing. Not even af so no chance of getting pg till she arrives.
Argh.
Sorry to moan, I feel so frustrated, I don't know if I want to scream or cry or punch something.
Apologies again for moaning,
Kristen x
Sorry girls but I really need a moan and don't have anyone else to land it on...
I'm currently on CD39 of my second cycle since my D&C. I know some people have been waiting much longer but my first cycle was 31 days and I hoped I might be back to how my cycles used to be. I'm so fed up of waiting for it to arrive. I know I'm not pregnant for many reasons - a BFN a week ago but mainly because I just don't feel pregnant. Last time I KNEW, even before I took the test. I went for a smear yesterday afternoon and the nurse told me I should wait till af arrives as I could be pg - even though I know I'm not that sort of upset me as it gave me hope...I feel like I don't want to have any hope as I'll just end up disappointed. Not the nurses fault I know, I'm just being ridiculous.
I've just had a stupid row with my partner too which has upset me. He's drawn a line under the mmc and is back in the frame of mind of -it'll happen when it happens' (as I was before I got pg the first time) but I'm so far from being back there. I feel like I'm losing my motivation to do anything at the moment. My oh's family are over from SA and so we've got family stuff on with them for the next 3 weekends - I just want to crawl into bed and hide. They've brought their 2 kids over with them (1 & 4) and I was so looking forward to telling them I was pg when they came over, then even after the mc I hoped I might be pg again before they arrived but nothing. Not even af so no chance of getting pg till she arrives.
Argh.
Sorry to moan, I feel so frustrated, I don't know if I want to scream or cry or punch something.
Apologies again for moaning,
Kristen x
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Replies
Your time will come for sure and it'll be amazing when it happens! xxxx
And as for men- they are on a completely different planet to us aren't they!! My husband is exactly the same- Mr Laid back- it will happen when it happens! But having a mc does all sorts to us ladies physically and emotionally and lots of men just don't get it! I have developed a TTC obsession since my mmc, but try not to tell OH too much because I know he'll think I've lost the plot and it will put him off trying!!!
Anyway, try to stay positive (I know it's hard) and AF will appear eventually- worrying about it will not help it to come any quicker! Just make sure you keep coming on here to have your PMA boosted, and remember , there are loads of us on here who feel exactly the same as you so don't apologise for moaning- thats what we're here for!!
I'm sure you will have your bfp very soon hun, just hang in there- it will happen!!! xxx
I know how you feel - you are not alone.
Big hugs! x
I soo know what you mean... i had my d+c in April but luckily my 2nd af was back to a 28 day cycle.
I relate about the waiting game... saw my gyne and she adviced me to take my 2nd shot of the mmr jab... (cant ttc for a month after jab) neither her nor my oh understood how absurd it was to me to put ttc for another month... so here i am waiting!!! aaarrgghhh it could drive you mad!!
So hang in there my dear, we're all kinda in the same boat. I dont think it'll be easy to go back to before the mc so dont rush, just take each day as it comes....
big hug
xx
So sorry you're feeling down hun. Have big (((((hugs))))) from me.
The waiting is so frustrating. AF will come soon hun. Try and immerse yourself in the family visit, who knows in 3 weeks time you could have a little bean on its way. Hold on to that PMA.
Inlaws can be hard work. Here is a funny story about my FIL to take your mind off things......
My FIL is a little on the clumsy side. He used to work in London a few years ago - he never quite got the hang of the train.... he was on his way to work one morning and got on to the busy train as usual. He found a seat next to a woman and sat down. Then my FIL bent down to open his briefcase and take out his newspaper. Unfortunately, when he closed his briefcase, he inadvertantly trapped the lady's skirt in the case. She was not very happy when my FIL then proceeded to lift the case up (along with the lady's skirt) to put it in the overhead shelf!!!
There were two very red faces on the train that morning! ;\)
Hang on in there sweetie. It will happen for you!
Love,
Edie xxx
thank you again, it really means a lot.
kristen xx
So sorry to hear you are having a rough patch, its so frustrating having to wait and however hard you try its impossilbe to ignore, men really don;t get it
Dont; feel bad about moaning thats what we're here for and we all feel like it sometimes - I keep crying in my car and feel worse than I did in April - I was beginning to feel like I was going mad but having read replies I feel better that its not just me!
Don;t be too hard on yourself, some days are better than others
Daisyx
ps meant to say thanks for the link to netdoctor re folic acid - very helpful
Well, after an eventful weekend (still can't believe MJ's died, unreal), I'm feeling a bit more PMA'd up - not least thanks to all of the lovely notes you've left - I appreciate it so much, especially when I know that you are all going through your own issues too.
Lille - like I've already said - you are totally right, BE certainly is fab at topping up your PMA when it has hit rock bottom!
Joesgirl - having a laid back OH definitely has massive benefits - if we were both like me I think we would have imploded by now...haha! And yes - if I told my OH all of my thoughts surrounding ttc he too would be on the phone to the men in white jackets!!!
Newbiemum - has AF turned up yet? I'm sure everyone hasn't forgotten about your mmc but I totally understand what you mean - my OH is obviously still sad about it but he has managed to put a line under it and move on, whereas I am still struggling to do that at times. Please make sure you come on BE and tell us when you are feeling down.
Shyro - it's all about the waiting isn't it!! And I've always been bad at that ever since I was a child!! It's obviously important to get your mmr jab done but I don't even think that knowledge will the waiting much easier...at least you know that once you do have a little bean snuggled inside then you will have done your best to make sure he is as safe as can be (or she!).
Edie - I loved that story!!! Brilliant!! Your poor FIL!!! Have you got over the shock of discovering your holiday bean?!!!! So pleased for you!x
Millie - 49 days - you legend!! I don't know what I was moaning about!! So pleased AF has arrived!! We must be testing around the same time this month?!! Assuming that we both have lovely 28 day-ish cycles...!!!
Daisy - so sorry that you are still feeling so sad about things - you are totally right, some days are better than others and we just have to wait until the bad days get less and less. Again, please post when you are feeling down about things. BE PMA is the BEST!!!
Socks - I think you are right - a distraction this month will be good (and I certainly have that, July is jam-packed already...will have to sneak in some baby-boom to the calendar - everyday from CD8 I've decided - the OH will be happy!!). And make sure you remember your own words - it will happen..x
Thanks so much girls, you really have cheered me up and I truly hope that all of us (other than Edie who is already there but happily still posting here!!) gets our BFPs this cycle!!
With lots of love and thanks,
Kristen xxx
Hope you girls are ok.
xx