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fed up :cry:

Hi there,

Sorry girls but I really need a moan and don't have anyone else to land it on...

I'm currently on CD39 of my second cycle since my D&C. I know some people have been waiting much longer but my first cycle was 31 days and I hoped I might be back to how my cycles used to be. I'm so fed up of waiting for it to arrive. I know I'm not pregnant for many reasons - a BFN a week ago but mainly because I just don't feel pregnant. Last time I KNEW, even before I took the test. I went for a smear yesterday afternoon and the nurse told me I should wait till af arrives as I could be pg - even though I know I'm not that sort of upset me as it gave me hope...I feel like I don't want to have any hope as I'll just end up disappointed. Not the nurses fault I know, I'm just being ridiculous.

I've just had a stupid row with my partner too which has upset me. He's drawn a line under the mmc and is back in the frame of mind of -it'll happen when it happens' (as I was before I got pg the first time) but I'm so far from being back there. I feel like I'm losing my motivation to do anything at the moment. My oh's family are over from SA and so we've got family stuff on with them for the next 3 weekends - I just want to crawl into bed and hide. They've brought their 2 kids over with them (1 & 4) and I was so looking forward to telling them I was pg when they came over, then even after the mc I hoped I might be pg again before they arrived but nothing. Not even af so no chance of getting pg till she arrives.

Argh.

Sorry to moan, I feel so frustrated, I don't know if I want to scream or cry or punch something.

Apologies again for moaning,

Kristen x

Replies

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    Aw, I just read this and am sending lots of big hugs your way! It's so difficult, I really feel for you. I had a bit of this last week and it really did help to let it all out, and get some BE PMA messages back... so I hope this helps in the same way. You're not being ridiculous, you're being normal. It's hard when you row with OH too, because it's like the last straw when you're trying to cope with everything else. But I'm sure he's just trying (in his bloke way) to be positive and keep your spirits up. Sometimes they get it wrong....
    Your time will come for sure and it'll be amazing when it happens! xxxx
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    Oh hun, I really feel for you! The waiting game is just awful isn't it- especially when mc has mucked up your cycles- it really makes you feel like you're getting nowhere fast!!
    And as for men- they are on a completely different planet to us aren't they!! My husband is exactly the same- Mr Laid back- it will happen when it happens! But having a mc does all sorts to us ladies physically and emotionally and lots of men just don't get it! I have developed a TTC obsession since my mmc, but try not to tell OH too much because I know he'll think I've lost the plot and it will put him off trying!!!

    Anyway, try to stay positive (I know it's hard) and AF will appear eventually- worrying about it will not help it to come any quicker! Just make sure you keep coming on here to have your PMA boosted, and remember , there are loads of us on here who feel exactly the same as you so don't apologise for moaning- thats what we're here for!!

    I'm sure you will have your bfp very soon hun, just hang in there- it will happen!!! xxx
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    Hi. I feel for you - I am sort of going thro the same at the mo. I am waiting for my second af after ERPC. Cycles before mmc were 30 days so AF was due today and it hasn't turned up. I also got a BFN. I am not over my mmc but everyone else seems to have forgotten. Everyone is getting pregnant and having babies all around me. I still cry loads - often at silly things. I cried myself to sleep last night. My poor DH doesn't know what to do with me. He doen't mind if it takes a few months to get preggers again cos he likes the trying lol! but i NEED to get pregnant NOW! ARRGGGGHHH!!!
    I know how you feel - you are not alone.
    Big hugs! x
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    Hi Kristen, sending u a big hug...
    I soo know what you mean... i had my d+c in April but luckily my 2nd af was back to a 28 day cycle.
    I relate about the waiting game... saw my gyne and she adviced me to take my 2nd shot of the mmr jab... (cant ttc for a month after jab) neither her nor my oh understood how absurd it was to me to put ttc for another month... so here i am waiting!!! aaarrgghhh it could drive you mad!!
    So hang in there my dear, we're all kinda in the same boat. I dont think it'll be easy to go back to before the mc so dont rush, just take each day as it comes....
    big hug
    xx
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    Hi Kristen,

    So sorry you're feeling down hun. Have big (((((hugs))))) from me.

    The waiting is so frustrating. AF will come soon hun. Try and immerse yourself in the family visit, who knows in 3 weeks time you could have a little bean on its way. Hold on to that PMA.

    Inlaws can be hard work. Here is a funny story about my FIL to take your mind off things......

    My FIL is a little on the clumsy side. He used to work in London a few years ago - he never quite got the hang of the train.... he was on his way to work one morning and got on to the busy train as usual. He found a seat next to a woman and sat down. Then my FIL bent down to open his briefcase and take out his newspaper. Unfortunately, when he closed his briefcase, he inadvertantly trapped the lady's skirt in the case. She was not very happy when my FIL then proceeded to lift the case up (along with the lady's skirt) to put it in the overhead shelf!!!

    There were two very red faces on the train that morning! ;\)

    Hang on in there sweetie. It will happen for you!

    Love,
    Edie xxx
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    i'm so sorry you're feeling down. i know how horrible the waiting is. moan as much as you want, you're not being ridiculous you're feeling as anyone would be feeling in your situation. sending you a big hug and hoping you are feeling better soon xxx
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    oh girls, you are all so lovely. i'm going to send individual replies, but i have to go buy pressies for the relatives that have just arrived and then hit the m6 to go visit them, so I will reply properly tomorrow. af arrived today - finally. although it is what i wanted i am still a bit disappointed...new cycle time fresh chance i guess and at least something is happening!
    thank you again, it really means a lot.
    kristen xx
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    So glad AF has shown up for you! At least you're moving in the right direction now! Lets hope this is the month!!! x
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    Hi Kristen
    So sorry to hear you are having a rough patch, its so frustrating having to wait and however hard you try its impossilbe to ignore, men really don;t get it
    Dont; feel bad about moaning thats what we're here for and we all feel like it sometimes - I keep crying in my car and feel worse than I did in April - I was beginning to feel like I was going mad but having read replies I feel better that its not just me!
    Don;t be too hard on yourself, some days are better than others
    Daisyx
    ps meant to say thanks for the link to netdoctor re folic acid - very helpful
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    Sending a hug sweetie, you sound like you need it. I know you must be disappointed af has shown up but if you knew you weren't pg at least you can move on with the next cycle. Moan as much as you like we have all done our fair share. Maybe a distraction will do you good and you might end up with a surprise bfp when you least expect it xx I got very caught up with when I should have been telling people and then wanting to be pg by x date, it just applies unnecessary stress, hope you are ok, keep your chin up and as much as it annoys me too when my husband says it, they are right it will happen xx
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    Hey there girls,

    Well, after an eventful weekend (still can't believe MJ's died, unreal), I'm feeling a bit more PMA'd up - not least thanks to all of the lovely notes you've left - I appreciate it so much, especially when I know that you are all going through your own issues too.

    Lille - like I've already said - you are totally right, BE certainly is fab at topping up your PMA when it has hit rock bottom!

    Joesgirl - having a laid back OH definitely has massive benefits - if we were both like me I think we would have imploded by now...haha! And yes - if I told my OH all of my thoughts surrounding ttc he too would be on the phone to the men in white jackets!!!

    Newbiemum - has AF turned up yet? I'm sure everyone hasn't forgotten about your mmc but I totally understand what you mean - my OH is obviously still sad about it but he has managed to put a line under it and move on, whereas I am still struggling to do that at times. Please make sure you come on BE and tell us when you are feeling down.

    Shyro - it's all about the waiting isn't it!! And I've always been bad at that ever since I was a child!! It's obviously important to get your mmr jab done but I don't even think that knowledge will the waiting much easier...at least you know that once you do have a little bean snuggled inside then you will have done your best to make sure he is as safe as can be (or she!).

    Edie - I loved that story!!! Brilliant!! Your poor FIL!!! Have you got over the shock of discovering your holiday bean?!!!! So pleased for you!x

    Millie - 49 days - you legend!! I don't know what I was moaning about!! So pleased AF has arrived!! We must be testing around the same time this month?!! Assuming that we both have lovely 28 day-ish cycles...!!!

    Daisy - so sorry that you are still feeling so sad about things - you are totally right, some days are better than others and we just have to wait until the bad days get less and less. Again, please post when you are feeling down about things. BE PMA is the BEST!!!

    Socks - I think you are right - a distraction this month will be good (and I certainly have that, July is jam-packed already...will have to sneak in some baby-boom to the calendar - everyday from CD8 I've decided - the OH will be happy!!). And make sure you remember your own words - it will happen..x

    Thanks so much girls, you really have cheered me up and I truly hope that all of us (other than Edie who is already there but happily still posting here!!) gets our BFPs this cycle!!

    With lots of love and thanks,

    Kristen xxx
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    Also, sorry after a long one - here is a really good website - http://www.frompregnancytobaby.com/blog/pregnancy/how-many-days-after-ovulation-do-you-get-your-period - the gist of it is that you ovulate 12-16 days before AF, regardless of cycle length - some of you will probs already know that but i didn't and thought it was very interesting to know when abouts I ov'd last cycle as i'm not charting!!xx
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    Hi - thanks for your reply. Yes my af turned up on saturday (a day late). I am always emotional around the time of my period and so that is not helping things. I am gunna do a post in a mo...I am feeling down today.
    Hope you girls are ok.
    xx
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    Hey, only just seen this thread, not sure how i missed it before?!). I'm glad you are feeling a bit happier about things and that AF has turned up, so at least you know where you are. Sending lots of PMA your way and seconding you on hoping we all get our BFPs! xxx
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