Middle Names
Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and wondering what other people's thoughts are.
Neither H or I have a middle name, and he's said many times he's not bothered about giving one to baby. I'm a bit wobbly on the subject and just don't know what I think or what I want to do. We have one of the most common surnames in the country, and I'm conscious of the fact that whatever name we give baby they'll be one of potentially zillions of people with that name across the world - I certainly am since we got married, and H recently met someone with exactly the same name as him. So, I'm kind of thinking that a middle name would help in certain situations to differentiate them from others with the same first name/surname combo. My best friend, for example, told me about when she was in hospital last year and there was another lady with the same name and the only difference between them was their middle names - yet their notes still kept getting mixed up!
If we did go down the middle name route, I'd like it to be something meaningful, but there's nothing really that jumps out. Would it be easier to agree with H and say we won't bother? I just don't know.
How did/will you decide on whether to give a middle name, and what were your considerations when picking out what to go for?
(Sorry about the rambliness, I'm very tired and not all that coherent today!)
Replies
We are going to give a middle name despite me not having one. We are using it as an opportunity to use names of family members.
They are names I really like but don't want to use them as first names iyswim?
However, if we didn't have these names and reasons I wouldn't give one for the sake of it. Is there a family member's name you could use?
Firstly, I am loving that I now 'know' two other people who don't have middle names. Apart from my sister I've never met anyone without one before. No-one ever believes me, they just think it's something embarrassing!
S does have a middle name which is my I'd name. In his family, the eldest boy always takes hos dads name as his middle name so we stuck to the tradition. For this baby, we will have a family name as the middle name - my dads if a boy and Ellen if a girl which is prominent throughout my family. If we didn't have family names, I wouldn't hesitate to not have one though.
If we have a third baby, we may ditch the middle name in honour of me!
Popcorn people say that to me too! I've even had to show my driving licence to one idiot that wouldn't shut up!
People always thought I was lying too! My dad didn't have a middle name either, my mum does and it's the same as my grandma's but she decided not to pass it on to me because my dad was so set on my name and the middle name starts with the same letter. That's the only tradition there is really with middle names in either of our families.
Family names wise, anyone we would possibly want to use the first name of its either already been done or the names aren't names we like. There's one surname in H's ancestry that we both love for a first name, but a friend of name gave the same name (albeit a variant spelling) to her LO which puts me off a bit. If she hadn't, there's a strong chance our baby would have had it as a first name. If we don't end up giving a middle name, I'll only end up making one up for telling off purposes anyway - I did for H!!
Ladies you can add me to that list as I don't have one either!
My older sister does though. Apparently my dad was convinced I was going to be a boy and then when I was born they couldn't pick a name, I was going to be a Louise and then my dad didn't like it so they had a change of heart for my name and given they were pushed to get a first name I don't think there was much chance of me getting a middle name!
My H on the other had has 2! O has a middle name which is my H's grandfathers name middle name and a sort of tradition on his side of the family and he really really wanted to use the name and sort of honour his grandfather.
ST I have married into the most common surname too so I know exactly what you mean! My old boss at work had the same name (first and surname) as my H (although the obviously have different middle names) so I wanted O to have a middle name. Not really sure why but I just did!
We gave E a middle name as we wanted him to have the option of using it if he didn't like his first name. I work with a few people who go by their middle names even though their first names are perfectly normal and nice. Plus it meant he's actually ELF so we had to go with it ;-)
Like Mrs Penguin said, I know a few people who were or still are known by their middle name as they don't like their first name. My mum included although she reverted back to her first name after her teenage years. I wanted to add a nod to family too. We have a few family names that are used a lot Jane (which we used) Jean, James, Anthony, Richard, Stephen. It was nice to carry on the tradition and we also wanted to give A as many options as possible for her name, her first name can be shortened in lots of ways and she can even use her initials if she likes.
If the name is really common I would go for a middle name.
We used the names of family members (my grandmother and H's godfather) but we only call them by their first names.
I don't have one and H has 2!
We didn't give E one in the end. A lot of people use the middle name to honour a relative but she is named after her great granny so we didnt feel the need to ad another relatives name. plus there wasnt another name either of us loved so we decided not to bother.
i can understand you wanting to to make their name a bit different though.
My mum doesn't have one either (yet her sister does). My H was insistent we only used middle names if there was a family relevance. So O has Christopher which is his name. We still didn't have a middle name for A until the registrar asked us when we registered his birth. He wanted both of our Dad's names but a)they're not good names and sound horrific together b)it didn't work with A's name. (Arthur Barrie Trevor anyone??!!! ;-):') ) We decided to go for John as it turned out this with both our Dad's middle names, as well as being my grandads name and H's grandads name!
If you don't want one that's fine but completely understand on the common surname front. My maiden name was common and the only saving grace was I had a more unusual first name for a person my age x
I know of quite a few people through work that go by their middle names, it surprised me when I moved up here how common it was! At school I knew one girl who did, but that was the only person I'd met before moving up here that did.
I'll have to scrutinise the family trees again and see if there's anything that sticks out I think. The first name we're pretty much settled on isn't overly common so it's not like I'm desperate, just totally unable to decide! But that's just me all over!!
We chose my H's nana's first name for Amethyst's middle name. If we have any other children we plan on using relatives names as middle names again. Personally I do have a middle name but my husband doesn't.
I wanted M to have a middle name as my first and middle initials were what my dad used to call me when I was little so my middle name has meaning to me and I didn't want her not to have the option of it being there. Like some of the others I know a surprising number of people who go by their middle names as well. The name I chose doesn't have any special meaning but it was the only one I liked in combination with her first and last name. Until she was 2 weeks old she actually only had a first and middle name as I still hadn't decided whose last name she would have. She has mine and her initials actually spell MET even if it is a very long name (9 syllables total)