Please tell me this is a phase! So close to breaking point :-(

Liv has just turned three months, and over the last couple of weeks has turned into the devil! She has gone from fairly laid back and easy to read to a screaming bundle of fury - hating everybody and everything. I feel like I am failing her but I just don't know what I am doing wrong image

She used to be able to amuse herself for about 15 mins while I made a cuppa - but now as soon as I leave her side she starts crying. Nap times have turned into a total battleground - she screams until her little face is beetroot and she lunges from side to side in my arms, often smashing her head into me. She arches her back and generally works herself up into such a state I can barely comfort her. She used to be easy to read but now I don't know what is going on with her cos everything I try during the day seems to make her worse. She will sit on my lap for maybe a couple of minutes then the flailing arching and wailing starts, so I try her on the floor thinking she wants to kick her legs but the screaming continues (and it really IS screaming - not just grouchy grumbles). Its making going out really tricky cos she is a slippery fish so after I feed her or if she wants out of her pram I can't do anything with her when she starts flailing other than battle with her which then kicks the screams off again.

And now to top it all she is fighting and screaming at the boob, which is really upsetting to watch. Family members (even my mum!!!!!) have said that it is because she is hungry or that there is something wrong with my breast milk - but I have tried to give her the second breast and she never wants it. They say that I should give her rusks but she's only 3 months!! That obviously upsets me cos I have been boob feeding exclusively since day one and very proud of that, but now I feel like its ME making her like this.

I have thought that it could be related to her having had her first set of jabs a couple of weeks ago - can it take this long for the after effects to become apparent? The other thing I thought it could be is her gums hurting her, so gave her some calpol this morning which did seem to work for a while but then she was back to the arching flailing and screaming, even after the second dose. The other thing I thought was maybe she is overtired or perhaps it is because of our trip to visit relatives last weekend that has thrown her out of her pattern. I just don't know what is wrong so feel so out of control and just don't know how to make it better, which makes me feel like I am failing her. Or is it colic? But what the hell is colic anyway?? Or reflux? Or a tummy upset? See, I am just constantly clutching at straws.

Please please tell me this constant screaming arching of back and flailing of limbs is just a phase - I want my lovely placid little baby back :cry:


  • Hi hun,

    Firstly, you are doing a great job!! Babies are hard work, so don't let anyone tell you this is down to something you are or aren't doing.

    My little one is 20 weeks, so I'm no expert! However, the fussing when eating could be down to teething. My LO fusses when her gums are sore. She will rub tieback of her head too. Does you little one do anything else that would be a sign of teething?

    I woulfd have thought if it was caused by the jags, then it would have started the day of the jags, or the day after.

    Maybe give your HV a wee call in the morning, and just have a chat with her? She might get you to bring your LO in for a check over. I done this when my LO wad 2 weeks as I just didn't know what to do, she was screaming for hours. Turned out that she had problems with trapped wind.

    Sorry, this has turned into a ramble! Xxx
  • Thanks Ruckie its kind of you to reassure me. Other teething things she does is dribble loads, rub her face/ears, get very red cheeks and also produce a truly awful smelling nappy.

    I have thought it could be trapped wind too (clutching at straws again) so have been doing loads of winding and cycling of legs. She is certainly very farty at the moment and when she did eventually poop yesterday it did calm her down for a while.

    I suppose there's not much else I can do if it is either of those, other than ride it out. Good tip about the hv, mine is actually really very nice, I might give her a ring tomorrow.
  • You are not alone.

    Finley is nearly 10months now and I clearly remember him going through a stage like this.

    He has always been a layed back baby and then all of a sudden it was like all he ever did was cry. I was so upset that he never ever seemed happy and I could not comfort him at all. Like you nap times became a nightmare and I would dread having to put him down

    I also eclusively breast fed and suddenly he was not interested. It would take me forever to feed him because he would arch is back and not latch and when I did eventually get him to he would be off and on every 90 seconds

    The good news is I kept with it and it was a phase. It probably lasted about 3-4 weeks (sorry) the bad news is I am still none the wiser to what was causing it.

    I know it is hard work and you are probably feeling like you are doing everything wrong but trust me you are not. You are doing a fab job. Chin up

  • Wif you don't know how nice it is to hear another baby has gone through this! And ok, 4 weeks might be a long time but at least it ended, which gives me hope.

    So want to stick with the breast feeding but sometimes it is so hard, not just the physical act of feeding but also the doubt it can create cos of the old "you don't know if they are getting enough". Although rationally I know she is cos she is on the 75th percentile and will probably grow out of her 3-6 month clothes way before she is 6 months.

    Thanks honey.xx
  • Hey chick. Just want to echo what the others have said about you doing a fab job and that this is nothing that you are / are not doing.

    My LO is about the same age as wif's LO and mine goes through phases like this maybe every 6 or 7 weeks (although not so much the arching of back). If I'm honest, each time I look back on them (some last a couple of days, some a week or two) they are usually related to bl00dy teeth! Quite often, the tooth in question pops up a few days later! It could be all manner of things though - maybe a growth spurt that's making her unsettled?

    It probably won't hurt to get her checked over incase it is related to digestion but, other than that, hang on in there! She might just wake up tomorrow all back to her smiley little self!

    Take care xxx
  • is there any history of intolerance to dairy in the family (I only say this because you mention foul nappies?!) or does she have any rashes/eczema? if this could be a possibility you would not have to stop BF, just switch to a dairy free diet yourself?

    Also my boy had terrible probs (bottle) feeding, they tried all sorts for reflux but nothing much worked - the most common thing to try is gaviscon sachets in the feed or before the BF - you can buy it over the counter or ask HV/GP to prescribe. Like you say, prob clutching at straws but thought may help.

    No way would I say to give any solids yet, carry on BF - you are doing great and that is all your LO needs right now.

    Hope things improve for you. x
  • I found the "is he getting enough?" thing really hard too but like your LO his weight gain was fine so I assumed he must be.

    I cant tell you how many times I nearly gave up BF, I would say every feed that it would be the last one but then after that I would think well I got through that one so I will try one more image
  • have u tried any tummy massages? the arching the back sounds very much like trapped wind/gripe pain (maybe even try gripe water)...i would agree that now is definately not the time to start solids, and even if it were definately not rusks! so u've done the right thing there, it's so hard not to give in when everyone around u is pulling u in one direction and ur not sure if ur right or not, but rusks are not good for babies, they are loaded with sugar and contain gluten, which should not be given until 6 months always baffles me that if a bf baby is upset/crying/ going through a phase that everyone around u puts it down to not enough milk etc, grr, if a ff baby was doing the exacyt same they wouldn't suggest upping feeds all the time there is a good weight gain...argh! she could also be hitting her 16weeks(ish) growth spurt early if u find she's wanting to feed little and often, or has she had a develpmental spurt lately? often sends them a bit crazy for a while lol...and teeth, they can aggrevate baby a long time before they actually come through, so quite a few possibilities......also agree with starry eyed, if u suspect a dairy intolerance etc (any other signs? green poos? hard/solid tummy? rash/eczema? crying/screaming when farting) then u don't ahve to give up bf, my ds is cows milk intolerant and i mixfed him until he was 7months, i cut out dairy from my diet and replaced with soya alternatives, but u do need to eat like u have the allergy/intolerance, ie checking labels for hidden dairy rather than just the obvious cheese, yoghurts, milk etc

  • Thanks everyone for being so supportive.

    There is no dairy intolerance in our families, but I HAVE been eating a hell of a lot of petit filous so I'll cut back on those!

    And it could be a growth spurt you're right - she has deffo got considerably heavier lately, almost over night. And she has started deliberately grabbing things now - so do things like that make them grouchy too?

    On the farting front - she's really not bothered by them at all, infact I think she rather enjoys them!

    Thanks again xx
  • Poor you and little one...

    Might be worth seeing the nurse practitioner or GP to check she hasn't got an ear infection?

  • hi huni - don't rteally have any advice to add to that already given but wanted to say I hope Liv is back to her normal self soon xx
  • Hiya

    When Ty was littler (14 months now), he had reflux which was undiagnosed until around 13 weeks they just kept saying it was colic, wind etc. But the arching of the back is a big symptom of relux, when the acid is coming back up and its uncomfy for them. Ty was only diagnosed after we had to see a paed about something else. he was then given gaviscon and ranitidine which really seemed to help.

    I would go and see your GP, it might be nothing more than a phase.

  • Its a growing spurt.Sorry for the quick message. Izzy has suffered the same and usually lasts 7 days. It will pass

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