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Marriage over for protecting baby? Husbands family have herpes and insist on kissing my baby

So I really need some advice. My husbands family have the herpes ex virus and she's already been kissed 3 times by family members with herpes in her 2 month little life. I have asked him to please tell his family members not to kiss her until she's 6 months and her defences are strong enough for the virus not to be fatal. I think that's a compromise cause quite honestly I don't want my baby daughter getting a coldsore but instead I've said to just wait until she's old enough to be safe to infect her. 

Here's the crazy thing. Instead of understanding this huge compromise he's told me that he won't be with me unless I let his family kiss her now. He's seen all the medical advice and the stories of babies dying from contracting herpes and he says its not his opinion and he won't be with me if his family can't kiss her. I understand grandparenrs want to kiss their baby but when she's already been kissed 3 times by herpes I think that telling them 'be careful' isn't working. Many stories takk about babyies who have died or nearly died because a family member kissed the baby on the cheek without realising they had a coldsore coming up and that poor little thing died of meningitis or got severely ill. I can't understand his lack of basic paternal instinct. What would you do in this situation? 


  • It is a completely unfair situation you are in. However you know that regardless of who you may hurt protecting your child comes above all of that everytime. Don't feel bad for being a good mother! Your partner must back you up and tell them himself to stop. But I would actually go and see the midwife/nurse/health visitor/doctor and reassure yourself you are doing the right thing and get their support. Your partner has no choice but to reinforce what he the nhs is saying. If they don't like it tough! If they are not treating your child the way you want her to be treated they don't get to see her at all until they do. Otherwise you have set the tone for the future when they disregard your wishes everytime and your partner chooses a quiet life over the welfare of his daughter based on what you say. 

  • your partner is being totally unreasonable n if I was you I would send the info to the grand parents myself. I'm sure like my family they would be horrified to learn what could happen. I just outright told my sil that she cannot kiss him as he's to vunerable yes I sounded crazy at the time but I would do everything to protect my child like you x x good luck with this i tottally support u 

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