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Did your birth experience affect your baby?



  • I had a long and traumatic forceps birth I was induced and cut lost 2 litres of blood Reuben was 10lb10 then after the birth I had a seizure in the bath (3 days later) which the neuroligist believed to be a result of the exhaustion of the birth. I went to see the GP to ask if he thought if I had another baby it would happen again and he said not to let it stop me (altough we would need ivf again), he said that they would look into my notes but didn't offer me any councelling which I would like as it def plays on my mind and still makes me tearful. As for Reuben I think he def felt the trauma of the birth he cryed constantly for the first 3 months wanted to be held constantly. He is fab now but can still get very upset if ever left to cry x
  • What an interesting question and I have loved reading all of the comments!

    However for me my 1st labour was difficult, I got to fully dilated mega quick (4 hours) but the shock sent my body into shut down and everything stopped. I was put on a drip and started pushing 4 hours later. ds1 had been stuck for 4 hours. It then took 1 half hours to push him out, mw had the forcepts out ready, although I didn't need them in the end. DS1 was swollen and had a massive bruise on his head from being stuck. However he was such a laid back baby. had few early bf issues, but he weaned easily, slept through at 8 weeks, could be put down...... GREAT!

    My 2nd labour was 6 hours, the last 2 being in the birthing pool. Gave birth in the pool and had an amazing experience. DS2 was 10lb1oz and I lost 3pints of blood as well as having a retained placenta, so ended up with a blood transfusion and a spinal. He is the polar opposite of his brother. He was a horrible newborn, could not out him down, he cried constantly until 16w didn't sleep through until 7m and is generally very very highly strung and demanding!!

    So not sure what that tells you!!! Births were very different....children very different. Hope no 3 (in 3 years or so) is nicely in the middle! lol

  • I had a bit of a dream labour and like Calleigh, it was at home. I had done natal hypnotherapy before the birth and this got me through the whole thing - no gas and air or anything - just breathing and concentration. I had what dh called my 'whale music' in the background, but I have no idea whether the music was still going during the final stages or not; I was very much 'in the zone' !! lol
    After the birth lo latched straight on and didn't drop any weight at all during the first week. I realise this was all down to luck. I have two sisters - one has had 2 fairly traumatic births and one striaght forward birth and the other had two very fast and fairly painless births, I got the same as my second sister - pure fluke.

    Anyway this 'perfect' birth didn't mean I got an angel baby by any means. T was quite demanding to begin with and has only just started sleeping through at 8 months. She used to cry and cry in strange places or with strangers, never wanted anyone other than dh or I to hold her and was a nightmare if we didn't get her to bed early enough. When I got together with my ante-natal group she was always the baby who cried the most and I had to leave things ear;ier than planned on several occasions as she was so unsettles. My mw suggested cranial osteopathy when she was about 6 weeks old, but we never got around to it - so obviously not as bad as some babies! These days she's an absolute angel and is always smiling with no problems sleeping, eating or anything. Bit late for that to be down to the birth though! She also had talipes (mild) at birth, developed an umbilical hernia early on, and had baby acne then cradle cap on head and in eyebrows. This all cleared up on its own at about 12 weeks.
  • my little one is only 11 weeks and i didnt have a very good labour....long, failure to progress, traces of meconium, constant monitoring of baby due to heart rate dipping constantly and a few failed epidurals and then i needed an episiotimoy which still hasnt healed and doesnt look like it will on its own....

    i had a very straighforward pregnancy though (tiny bump which caused me worry but she was 8lbs 4oz) and she is a very content baby and sleeps well throught the night and very rarely cries...only when hungry, over tired or a dirty bum sometimes and while young and i know this could change at any time based on my experience so far i dont think her birth has affected her in any way now as it wasnt a particularly nice experiene but obviously it was still the best one of my life...


  • i was induced and had to have an EMCS after her heart rate dropped alarmingly so pretty traumatic but she is a really chilled out little lady who self settles, entertains herself and has smiles for everyone xx
  • I had a great pregnancy that was very relaxed and with no bad side effects, and a wonderful water birth at home using hypnobirthing. It was all very calm and relaxed which made me hopeful that this would result in a calm baby. My son was born very relaxed and calm but I have to say after 1 day this all changed dramatically and the next 4 months were the toughest Ive ever experienced with bad trapped wind (I dont like the term colic!!) and reflux (which continued til he was 8 months but was managed with meds). The only easy thing was that he was a good sleeper for the first 4 months. He developed terrible tantrums and anger at 6 months which took a bit to get under control. Since 8 months he has become a very easy wonderful baby who is so very happy and content.
    I do feel that the birth experience, particularly the use of implements of drugs, can affect your baby however I think these effects are shortlived (ie the drugs will leave their system and things like cranial osteo can help where their body may be out of alignment etc). As I had no interventions after a pretty much perfect pregnancy, my son is testament that many other factors can come into play to have an effect on your baby's behaviour or physiology - some which are simply unavoidable. My hubby had terrible wind and reflux and it seems my son inherited this from him, and this resulted in it being a very difficult first 4 months, so no matter how my pregnancy or birth went I dont think it had much impact.
  • Ok I loved my labour, but it wasn't what anyone would have wanted or planned bar that he arrived safely.

    I was induced at 41+2 due to high bp, my labour was 31 hours long, during which time they were concerned he was in distress and em sec discussed, I threw up constantly in later stages and after the birth. Then afterwards I couldn't move due to epidural and 1 of my arms didn't work due to tumour on my spine (I didn't know reason at time) so felt unable to look after Dee and this I found very hard. However, he is the happiest little man ever, everyone comments on it I would do it all again for him and im glad the experience didnt upset him.

  • i had failed forceps followed by a em sec, after a long pushing stage of over 3 hours, LO has always been quite difficult at times esp the first few months and i never really thought that might have impacted, hoping the next is easier"
  • My waters broke early and after 72 hours I was induced via drip. I had a very speedy delivery (2 1/2 hours from drip being put in to her arriving). We also had issues with her HB dropping a lot and she had the cord around her neck. I had to push her out very, very quickly.

    For the first 10 weeks Lyvi wouldn't sleep anywhere but on either myself or hubby but personally I think this was because she was premature and very, very tiny and she needed that extra comfort like she was still inside.

    Lyvi also suffered from silent reflux but again I think that was because she was early. We had some cranial osteopathy which really helped with this and helped to 'straighten' her out - often babies who have the cord around their neck can be quite 'curled up' after the birth.

    She has never been a baby who cries or has any sort of sleeping or feeding problems. We have always followed her lead and she is a very happy baby - this is the first thing EVERYONE says to us!

    I believe that being born is just one day in their lives and how they are treated and looked after each day has much more effect on them. That's not to say that a traumatic birth might not have some effect but I think this can be overcome by a lot of love and nurturing in the weeks/months after their birth.

    Just my view on things!

    Love NN xx
  • Hello Mrs, good question! I would say that I had a reasonably easy labour (start to finish was 16hrs, no pain relief and at home), but I wouldn't say that Jacob has been an easy baby. I know there are worse, but he has definitely tried us with regards to sleeping and feeding. In fact I'd say he's just becoming more content now he's six months. I guess adjusting to life on the outside world is a big thing. The main thing for us is to make sure #1 is settled before #2 arrives.
  • How interesting.

    I had a really easy birth, from 1st contraction to delivery was 4.5 hours with no pain relief and only an internal tear but I wouldn't say lo is an easy baby at all. Happy, smily and giggly most definitely but easy no. He's never slept through, and at 6 months still feeds at least twice a night and won't self settle at all, and if he doesn't fall asleep on the boob he goes into meltdown at bedtime and screams the house down! He is also quite demanding of our attention and can't amuse himself for long.

    I'm holding out for the difficult first, easy second theory, its my new mantra!
  • This has really made me think. i dont really knw with my two. DS 3.5yrs was 2 weeks overdue and a 26 hr labour. pregnancy was severe sickness and very stressful. labour was hard work he was back to back. he was a very difficult baby until 4 months or so but has been a very very hard work toddler.
    DD was born at 34 weeks after waters breaking at 25 weeks. nightmare pregnancy, very bad labour/induction 3 days long and difficult. BUT she is an angel baby, was a difficult feeder to start but due to prematurity. she is so laid back and calm, very unlike the pregnancy hehe. quite the opposite to what i thought she would be like!
  • I had an awful birth with my first, and that made me change my views on how I would do things second time round.

    I had a dream labour 2nd time round. I went into labour early afternoon, I was insistant I wouldnt go into hospital until the last minute!! Once I got to the hospital I had an aromatherapy massage, music, went in to birthing pool, all very relaxing! Then just as I was about to push they lost lo's heart beat so I had to get out. He was born within minutes of being on the bed! A complete contrast to my first (25hr labour)!!

    My baby is so content and happy, he went straight to the breast and we took him home that evening, within 3 hours of giving birth.

    I had the loveliest midwife too image
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