I dont see what the problem is if people use dummys (when used correctly) my daughter who is almost 3 had one-she had colic and after months of sleepless nights we found a dummy that would settle her (joy!) so i had no problems with it, when she was one ish we simply took it away from her day and night, job done! however my son who is 17months would never take to the dummy and started sucking him thumb for comfort, and now he never stops sucking it, which i personally find much worse as i cannot take his thumb away from him and hes actually given himself sores inbetween his thumb and fingers xxx
hello, when I introduced my lo's dummy it was because I didnt want him sucking his thumb or fingers, my neice has just turned 4 and still sucks her fingers, and I personally think dummys are easier to take away then fingers and thumbs!
As i said before I successfully weaned my lo off at 18 weeks. As for teething I would suggest a sophie the giraffe, an excellent teething toy, and also an amber teething necklace. My lo has both of these and he is a much happier baby, he cut 2 teeth recently without too much grumpiness. x
my view for babies is that for things like dummys rocking to sleeps all the 'bad habits' anything that can be done can be undone??! My ds didn't have a dummy however he used bfing as a tool to go to sleep which I have just weaned him off this week, it's all how you use it, my cousin has a wee girl almost a year and if she peeps the dummy is stuck in her mouth, its more to shut her up than actually act as it should do, like some others have commented you can wean your baby off it again while theya re still very young or keep it to sleepy times, night time or day time, just go with the flow xx
Bella has a dummy we were told to introduce it when we were in hospital as she has a sucking issues. shes 13 weeks now and teething she wil only taking it when she wants it normally when her teeth are bothering her or really over tried. she sucks her hand instead sometimes. i'm hapy for her to have it but only when she needs it. i don't put her to bed with it at night i want to wean her off it at about christmas.
Toby has a dummy for naps and bedtime. To be honest - we are going to avoid letting another baby of ours have one - unless they too are a very sucky baby like T was. Because annoyingly Toby is now obsessed with his dummy!!!!!! At 16 months he'd suck on it all day every day if we let him. If for any reason he "accidentally" sees a dummy in the day he'll go nuts as he wants it. he sleeps ALL night with it in (well until I take it out when we go to bed but sure enough he finds it again!!!) Its doing my head in but hubby thinks its cruel to wean him off it as he doesn't understand what's happening. So he's keeping it until he's old enough to know he doesn't need it. Groan.
We didnt use one at all, and she wasnt a great sleeper until 6 months so the temptation to try a dummy was there but we just persevered and she is now very good at settling herself as she has never had to rely on anything else.
When teething we give her Sophie giraffe, and thats all she needs.
She has also never sucked her thumb - the only child i know who does suck her thumb is one who had a dummy when she was smaller. Dont mean to cause offence but it drives me mad that people justify using a dummy by claiming it is to stop thumb sucking as its not the case, and if you use a dummy dont use thumb sucking as an excuse as you dont have to justify your choices!
all mine have had dummies, regretably my oldest was 5 when i got rid of hers and my son was 4 with his, but i wanted the quiet life and the dummy gave me that.(but they did only have them if they were going bed or ill, certainly didn't walk round the streets with them like that) my third lo didn't have a choice he would only have one specific sort of dummy which got discontinued and after buying some on ebay (??25 for 4, then again ??10 for 2, the second lot were pink ones as the blue ones were ??32 for 2 and i weren't paying that!!), he was down to 1 left, and whilst i was in hospital having my daughter, he went to stay at my sisters and the dog ate it so that was that lol, skye has one and relies on it alot in the day, but come bed time isn't that bothered about it so i'm hoping she comes off hers a lot easier.
my pet hate is children that drink juice out of bottles past the age of 18 months.
as for thumb sucking, DONT, i started sucking my thumb when my mum took my dummy off me at the age of 3, and regretably i still suck my thumb when i go bed now 25 yrs later lol
DS doesn't have a dummy - well he had one once for ten minutes, as I went to a concert when he was 7 weeks old and as he liked to breastfeed to sleep at that stage, I bought one for DH to use to try to settle him in my absence. Didn't work, and I still had to whip my boobs out when I got home so we chucked it!
He's now just shy of 5 months, has been teething for ages and likes to chew his knuckle. Babies just like to put stuff in their mouths, it's what they do, and I think even if they find their thumbs it's a rare child that doesn't knock that habit by the school years - plus, they tend to remove thumbs to talk whereas toddlers trying to talk through a dummy is my pet hate!
ooh yeah trying to understand a child through a dummy is horrid, i also think it impairs their speech, since my youngest lad hasn't had his (must admit he did have it nearly all the time when at home, i just didn't take it out the house as didn't want to lose it) his speech has come on brilliantly, he always has been good at talking but in the past 6 months hes gone from just being me and immediate family being able to understand to everyone he talks to. xx
I was anti dummies prior to ds (because of seeing toddlers running around with one hanging out of their mouths) but ds was a very sucky baby and when we were still trying to bf would comfort suck on me for hours which just added to our problems so we introduced a dummy. At first he wasn't really interested then became obsessed now (19weeks) he has only had his dummy at bed/nap time unless he gets whingy when we're out. I never put it in his mouth now he's old enough I hold it just infront and he pushes it to his mouth if it's what he wants. I am dreading when we decide it's time for the dummy fairy to come but for now it works for when he needs it x
Just wanted to give the point of view of a dentist coz some of you have mentioned the development of teeth. Yes a dummy does generally prevent a thumb sucking habit and for that reason we recommend dummys. You are not in control of how much a thumb is sucked whereas you are with a dummy so u can limit the use whereas a thumb is always to hand (so to speak!!) I can't get over how opinionated so many people are over children with dummies!! My daughter is only 5 weeks but definitely wanted her to suck on a dummy whenever I saw her fingers going in her mouth. I have seen so many children with proclined teeth due to thumb sucking. Never due to dummy sucking as a dummy is not still around when the adult teeth are through. Just my advice on the matter but seeing as this is such a controversial issue I'm sure lots will disagree! Xx
its interesting to hear different experiences and opinions...
its not that i see a 'problem' with dummies its just that i really dont like them personally which is why i was determined not to use them with my lo and having come this far i really dont want to start..
the purpose of this thread isnt to have a debate on dummies as everyone has various opinions and while the thumb/finger sucking doesnt perosnally bother me (as i think its partly teething related and that she should grow out if it) i know others prefer dummis to this...its just i wanted opinions on ways of comforting through the terthing more than anything from those mummies who dont use dummies either...
my dentist actually recommended not to use dummies from an oral health point of view so it just shows the conflicting advice thats out there....
i find dummies more unsighly than thumb sucking (especially in children over a year - im the same with bottles over a year old) i prob sound hypocritical as my little one is bottle fed and still has an artifical teat but she needs to be fed (and i dont want to start a 'breast is best' debate on here either) but she doesnt 'need' a dummy....yes i can take a dummy away and not a thub but i think taking a dummy away which she became reliant on e.g for comfort all the time or sleeping would be more taumatic for her (and me) rather than letting her grow out of the thumb sucking herself and thats dependant on whether it becomes a habit or not in the first place as like i said she doesnt do it alot and will most often self settle really well without it...
anyway as i said any non dummy mums have tips for teething?
this thread isnt meant to offend anyone (that does use a dummy) cause as i said its just that i persoanlly dont like them and we all have differing opinions about everything when it comes to our little ones.../.
This is so hard and I have been tormenting myself for weeks as lo (11 weeks now) has always sucked right from birth, mostly his hand/thumb/fingers but now he is bigger toys and bits of my clothes/body..anything he can find. I am in the early stages of giving in as he had a terrible cold and I thought why am I depriving him of comfort? so I finally gave it to him and three sucks and he was asleep! but then it seemed it kept him awake...I dont think he could relax as he just kept sucking! so h didnt have it an now today I gave it to him for a nap as I couldnt settle him and he went happily off to sleep and spat it out when he was asleep. I am still not sure if I want this to become a habit or not but mostly from a selfish point of view...I dont want to have to shove it back in if he is one of these babies who wakes when it falls out! Lauz, as a hv what is your view on dummies reducing the risk of SIDS? x
it is tough - one of my main reasons for not giving Megan a dummy was that i didnt want her to become reliant on it and from the selfish point of view if she woke up looking for it - but i have been lucky in that she is very good natured and has always self settled really well...and i figure as i never gave her it she didnt know any better...
when i started this thread it was as she seemed to be having a strong suck which i think was related to her growth spurt looking back now i;ve come this far and dont really want to give in but last night everything has gone to pot..
she had her 1st lot of vaccines yesterday so needed 3 as she is over 12 weeks - she was upset for about half an hour then settled with paracetamol and i had my smiley chatty girl back then last night she was awake literally the whole night and is now overtired and a bit gurney today - she has also woken with a cold which is horrible (i'be just got rid of it so feel guilty) and her mouth is hurting her and im soooo tired i feel terrible...so i think i could give her a dummy and then i think no thats back to selfish reasons for myself - she isnt particularly looking to suck she is looking for pain relief and is struggling to breath- i hope tonight is better so i can catch up with sleep but to be honest im expecting a rough few days while we rid eout the cold (and months with the teething) i just hope it doenst disrupt her completely and that she settles back into a routine again as she was going 8.30-8am before this....
as for giving dummies to prevent SIDS there is some reason to suggest this can help but most of the research says in 'adverse' cases e.g households with heavy smokers...they say its because babies suck and it keeps the airways open so they are less likely to suffocate on something like a blanket but like you said said many babies spit the dummy out when they drop off anyway which in my mind sort of degeats the purpose and the research only advocates dummies use at sleep time and recommends removing them from 6 months....in my opinion the reseach isnt significant enough and i think following the other recommended points is more important but its like everything - people disagree with dummy use but co-sleeping isnt recommended yet many mums do this and do it succesfully and will argue their babies are perfectly safe, sleeping bags arent really recommended either but look hwow popular they are as long as correct size is used and baby cant wriggle down (and they arent too warm) babies are fine and also there is the issue of being in your room or not - reseach states babies should be in with you for the first 6 months as this is safest but many people move their babies much sooner than that and again have no problems - all the 'research' does is provice guidelines and its up to us as parents to chose which of these (if any) to follow or not to follow..
i wouldnt try to influence mums in anyway - if i believed they prevented sids then of course i would use one as thats the most important thing (and i almost did use one for this reason until i weighed up my reasons for not wanting to use them) howver. my personal opinion is that the research isnt sufficent nor is in conclusive...
i have megan in my room, i put her on her back to sleep, i make sure her feet are against the bottom of the cot, that any blankets are securely tucked in and not near her face and i use one of the movement monitors (these arent particularly recommended either and i got to 6 weeks then decided i wanted one) my 'professional' opinion on many things differs from my personal one e.g on something like breastfeeding but on dummies i just have a dislike for them and thats that - i think they are often used wrongly, look unsightly (Especially in toddlers and older babies) are not great from an oral health point of view and can affect speech development....
again not trying to start a debate on any issues here as like all decisions we make as mums its based on the information available to us and what we think is best for our babies.
im waffling away now arent i? if you want to give james a dummy for comfort then by all means do but if you think it isnt necessarily having any benefits then dont lol - as i said megan has a cold now and im a bit liek you - why am i depriving her of comfort but if she was that desperate to suck she has her thumbs but as i said she only tends to do this when hungry or tired or sore mouth and she bites on it then so i dont think she is necessarily looking for a suck for comfort - only you know your baby and his cues...
Ah thank you for that. I am a social worker and have been paticularly interested in finding out what the actual SIDS research was - that makes more sense now. Yes I am still undecided on the dummy debate and dont know if i will ever make up my mind but i have used it a couple of times when i have become exhausted xx
The WHO recomends a dummy from 4 weeks to 6 months to help prevent cot death so this is why I gave my son one. And he had also started sucking his thumb and I can wean him off the dummy but I can't cut off this thumbs! lol! My sister is 25 and still sucks her thumb so wanted to avoid that. It comforts them and they are born with such a strong need to suck - I can't understand at all what the problem with it is. A baby having a dummy and a toddler having a dummy are two really different things.
if you want to give James a dummy then just do it chick and dont feel guilty...
the guidelines i go by (and im in Scotland) is that dummies 'may' prevent cot death but in the circumstances i said. the researcs is all over 2 or 3 years old as well....in my opinion its not strong enough and if i believed it did then of course my dd would have one...
my 'problem' with dummies is that i think they look unsightly (im talking about older babies and toddlers) they are often used wrongly (im not saying everyone does this) and can hinder speech development (from what i have seen and from liasing with the speech therapists but again its in older children and with prolonged use)
at the end of the day i dont like dummies and im glad my dd doesnt have one stuck in her mouth all the time and again im not reffering to individuals on here just as a 'general rule of thumb' she was v.unsettled on monday night after her vaccines but has since gone back to sleeping through and doesnt look for a dummy not does she need one to nap - she's in a great routine which she self established and hasnt needed a dummy once but i dont have a grumpy or unsettled baby maybe if i was exhausted with her crying i would giver her it and as for the thumb sucking i am sure she will grow out of it (despie some people not) and seen as you see some parents allow their kids to have dummies at 3 and 4 etc that to me is much worse than a thumb in her mouth and ther are ways to wean from that to but my dd doesnt suck her thumb alot just occasionally and in the circumstances i mentioned...
each to their own especially on this subject lol...
Just wanted to say i dont have a problem with dummies, like it has been said its a lot easier to wean from a dummy than it is a thumb.
DS has a dummy, he is now 6 months old. He doesnt just have it to shut him up so to speak, its for comfort, and especially now he is at nursery 4 days a week i would feel awful taking his dummy away from him.
When he comes to about 12/18 months then i will be weaning him off it.
DS is a very cuddly/comforty baby and i'd rather give him his dummy than him rely on me to cuddle him to sleep as there will be times i cannot do this, and believe me i made the mistake of doing this before, when he was a newborn and thats when i changed to his dummy.
Like you said Lauz its always a controversial subject and it really doesnt need to be, you either use them or dont. We all have different reasons, go with your instincts i say xx
question...if you were out in town and saw a baby with a dummy in their mouth (say 0 - 6 month old) would you look at it as disapproval or would you not mind/have an opinion?
Replies
when I introduced my lo's dummy it was because I didnt want him sucking his thumb or fingers, my neice has just turned 4 and still sucks her fingers, and I personally think dummys are easier to take away then fingers and thumbs!
As i said before I successfully weaned my lo off at 18 weeks. As for teething I would suggest a sophie the giraffe, an excellent teething toy, and also an amber teething necklace. My lo has both of these and he is a much happier baby, he cut 2 teeth recently without too much grumpiness. x
To be honest - we are going to avoid letting another baby of ours have one - unless they too are a very sucky baby like T was.
Because annoyingly Toby is now obsessed with his dummy!!!!!!
At 16 months he'd suck on it all day every day if we let him. If for any reason he "accidentally" sees a dummy in the day he'll go nuts as he wants it. he sleeps ALL night with it in (well until I take it out when we go to bed but sure enough he finds it again!!!)
Its doing my head in but hubby thinks its cruel to wean him off it as he doesn't understand what's happening.
So he's keeping it until he's old enough to know he doesn't need it.
Groan.
xxx
When teething we give her Sophie giraffe, and thats all she needs.
She has also never sucked her thumb - the only child i know who does suck her thumb is one who had a dummy when she was smaller.
Dont mean to cause offence but it drives me mad that people justify using a dummy by claiming it is to stop thumb sucking as its not the case, and if you use a dummy dont use thumb sucking as an excuse as you dont have to justify your choices!
my third lo didn't have a choice he would only have one specific sort of dummy which got discontinued and after buying some on ebay (??25 for 4, then again ??10 for 2, the second lot were pink ones as the blue ones were ??32 for 2 and i weren't paying that!!), he was down to 1 left, and whilst i was in hospital having my daughter, he went to stay at my sisters and the dog ate it so that was that lol,
skye has one and relies on it alot in the day, but come bed time isn't that bothered about it so i'm hoping she comes off hers a lot easier.
my pet hate is children that drink juice out of bottles past the age of 18 months.
as for thumb sucking, DONT, i started sucking my thumb when my mum took my dummy off me at the age of 3, and regretably i still suck my thumb when i go bed now 25 yrs later lol
He's now just shy of 5 months, has been teething for ages and likes to chew his knuckle. Babies just like to put stuff in their mouths, it's what they do, and I think even if they find their thumbs it's a rare child that doesn't knock that habit by the school years - plus, they tend to remove thumbs to talk whereas toddlers trying to talk through a dummy is my pet hate!
I can't get over how opinionated so many people are over children with dummies!! My daughter is only 5 weeks but definitely wanted her to suck on a dummy whenever I saw her fingers going in her mouth.
I have seen so many children with proclined teeth due to thumb sucking. Never due to dummy sucking as a dummy is not still around when the adult teeth are through.
Just my advice on the matter but seeing as this is such a controversial issue I'm sure lots will disagree!
Xx
its interesting to hear different experiences and opinions...
its not that i see a 'problem' with dummies its just that i really dont like them personally which is why i was determined not to use them with my lo and having come this far i really dont want to start..
the purpose of this thread isnt to have a debate on dummies as everyone has various opinions and while the thumb/finger sucking doesnt perosnally bother me (as i think its partly teething related and that she should grow out if it) i know others prefer dummis to this...its just i wanted opinions on ways of comforting through the terthing more than anything from those mummies who dont use dummies either...
my dentist actually recommended not to use dummies from an oral health point of view so it just shows the conflicting advice thats out there....
i find dummies more unsighly than thumb sucking (especially in children over a year - im the same with bottles over a year old) i prob sound hypocritical as my little one is bottle fed and still has an artifical teat but she needs to be fed (and i dont want to start a 'breast is best' debate on here either) but she doesnt 'need' a dummy....yes i can take a dummy away and not a thub but i think taking a dummy away which she became reliant on e.g for comfort all the time or sleeping would be more taumatic for her (and me) rather than letting her grow out of the thumb sucking herself and thats dependant on whether it becomes a habit or not in the first place as like i said she doesnt do it alot and will most often self settle really well without it...
anyway as i said any non dummy mums have tips for teething?
this thread isnt meant to offend anyone (that does use a dummy) cause as i said its just that i persoanlly dont like them and we all have differing opinions about everything when it comes to our little ones.../.
Lx
it is tough - one of my main reasons for not giving Megan a dummy was that i didnt want her to become reliant on it and from the selfish point of view if she woke up looking for it - but i have been lucky in that she is very good natured and has always self settled really well...and i figure as i never gave her it she didnt know any better...
when i started this thread it was as she seemed to be having a strong suck which i think was related to her growth spurt looking back now i;ve come this far and dont really want to give in but last night everything has gone to pot..
she had her 1st lot of vaccines yesterday so needed 3 as she is over 12 weeks - she was upset for about half an hour then settled with paracetamol and i had my smiley chatty girl back then last night she was awake literally the whole night and is now overtired and a bit gurney today - she has also woken with a cold which is horrible (i'be just got rid of it so feel guilty) and her mouth is hurting her and im soooo tired i feel terrible...so i think i could give her a dummy and then i think no thats back to selfish reasons for myself - she isnt particularly looking to suck she is looking for pain relief and is struggling to breath- i hope tonight is better so i can catch up with sleep but to be honest im expecting a rough few days while we rid eout the cold (and months with the teething) i just hope it doenst disrupt her completely and that she settles back into a routine again as she was going 8.30-8am before this....
as for giving dummies to prevent SIDS there is some reason to suggest this can help but most of the research says in 'adverse' cases e.g households with heavy smokers...they say its because babies suck and it keeps the airways open so they are less likely to suffocate on something like a blanket but like you said said many babies spit the dummy out when they drop off anyway which in my mind sort of degeats the purpose and the research only advocates dummies use at sleep time and recommends removing them from 6 months....in my opinion the reseach isnt significant enough and i think following the other recommended points is more important but its like everything - people disagree with dummy use but co-sleeping isnt recommended yet many mums do this and do it succesfully and will argue their babies are perfectly safe, sleeping bags arent really recommended either but look hwow popular they are as long as correct size is used and baby cant wriggle down (and they arent too warm) babies are fine and also there is the issue of being in your room or not - reseach states babies should be in with you for the first 6 months as this is safest but many people move their babies much sooner than that and again have no problems - all the 'research' does is provice guidelines and its up to us as parents to chose which of these (if any) to follow or not to follow..
i wouldnt try to influence mums in anyway - if i believed they prevented sids then of course i would use one as thats the most important thing (and i almost did use one for this reason until i weighed up my reasons for not wanting to use them) howver. my personal opinion is that the research isnt sufficent nor is in conclusive...
i have megan in my room, i put her on her back to sleep, i make sure her feet are against the bottom of the cot, that any blankets are securely tucked in and not near her face and i use one of the movement monitors (these arent particularly recommended either and i got to 6 weeks then decided i wanted one) my 'professional' opinion on many things differs from my personal one e.g on something like breastfeeding but on dummies i just have a dislike for them and thats that - i think they are often used wrongly, look unsightly (Especially in toddlers and older babies) are not great from an oral health point of view and can affect speech development....
again not trying to start a debate on any issues here as like all decisions we make as mums its based on the information available to us and what we think is best for our babies.
im waffling away now arent i? if you want to give james a dummy for comfort then by all means do but if you think it isnt necessarily having any benefits then dont lol - as i said megan has a cold now and im a bit liek you - why am i depriving her of comfort but if she was that desperate to suck she has her thumbs but as i said she only tends to do this when hungry or tired or sore mouth and she bites on it then so i dont think she is necessarily looking for a suck for comfort - only you know your baby and his cues...
Lx
the guidelines i go by (and im in Scotland) is that dummies 'may' prevent cot death but in the circumstances i said. the researcs is all over 2 or 3 years old as well....in my opinion its not strong enough and if i believed it did then of course my dd would have one...
my 'problem' with dummies is that i think they look unsightly (im talking about older babies and toddlers) they are often used wrongly (im not saying everyone does this) and can hinder speech development (from what i have seen and from liasing with the speech therapists but again its in older children and with prolonged use)
at the end of the day i dont like dummies and im glad my dd doesnt have one stuck in her mouth all the time and again im not reffering to individuals on here just as a 'general rule of thumb' she was v.unsettled on monday night after her vaccines but has since gone back to sleeping through and doesnt look for a dummy not does she need one to nap - she's in a great routine which she self established and hasnt needed a dummy once but i dont have a grumpy or unsettled baby maybe if i was exhausted with her crying i would giver her it and as for the thumb sucking i am sure she will grow out of it (despie some people not) and seen as you see some parents allow their kids to have dummies at 3 and 4 etc that to me is much worse than a thumb in her mouth and ther are ways to wean from that to but my dd doesnt suck her thumb alot just occasionally and in the circumstances i mentioned...
each to their own especially on this subject lol...
Lx
DS has a dummy, he is now 6 months old. He doesnt just have it to shut him up so to speak, its for comfort, and especially now he is at nursery 4 days a week i would feel awful taking his dummy away from him.
When he comes to about 12/18 months then i will be weaning him off it.
DS is a very cuddly/comforty baby and i'd rather give him his dummy than him rely on me to cuddle him to sleep as there will be times i cannot do this, and believe me i made the mistake of doing this before, when he was a newborn and thats when i changed to his dummy.
Like you said Lauz its always a controversial subject and it really doesnt need to be, you either use them or dont. We all have different reasons, go with your instincts i say xx