Am I Wrong? *LONG*

i'm almost at a point of screaming at the moment, as most of you know LO had a bad reaction to his injections and has been poorly for weeks...anyway, the past few days he's almost 100% apart from a slight cough which is fab! Also, as most of you know, the weather isn't that great and at night it's like -100 (well obv not but u get the picture lol!)...

OH's mum wanted us to WALK round to hers (25-30 mins walk) last night for tea and saw her arse when we said no because he was due a bath and feed at 7 and it's far too cold to take him out late when he's just got over being so poorly! His family never bother with me, it's not that we particularly don't get on but we're too different, his mum and sister are really into designer clothes and make-up etc whereas i wore makeup a few days ago which was the first time since a christening in the summer and i think before that it was last years works xmas do and unless new look/primark are designer labels then i don't own any designer clothes lmao!

anyway...

it turns out they only wanted us round because OH's sister (who hasnt seen us for weeks since she got a new boyfriend) decided she wanted to see LO because she wasn't seeing her boyfriend! I said to OH 'tell her to get her f*ckin coat on then and get round here or will the cold make her makeup run?'...I was sooo mad!! So then i got the 'she only wants to see him, she hasnt seen him for ages blah blah blah' speech off OH to which i went mad saying 'well whos fault is that? shes got legs, you know how poorly he's been etc etc'...we sat in silence for a bit then and i started crying and said 'why am i always made to feel like the bad person for looking after my child?'...it's soooo much easier for them to come to us and they have a car!!

Anyway, as it happens, her boyfriend decided he was free afterall and they both got dropped off at ours...LO had just been fed and changed so was all smiley and happy! OH's sister couldnt get smiles out of LO but her boyfriend could so she screamed 'OMG' and made LO cry and he wouldn't settle then til he had his bath and bottle at 7...i was so mad!

This happens ALL the time, his mum asked us round for tea 2 days after his reaction to the injections when he was REALLY poorly...she just doesn't understand!! When we do see them all they do is pick him up when he's asleep or just generally upset him, they are so childish and argue over him...the best was 'is it my turn?' HELLOOOO he's not a toy!!

Am i a bad person? i'm made to feel like such a bitch all the time, i said to OH they are welcome here all day everyday if they want but DON'T make us drag him out in icey weather...is that wrong?

There was an issue about a week or so ago where i put a picture of my sister feeding LO on facebook, OH's sister went mad saying she always gets left out and she's never fed him and that next time she sees him she's feeding him whether he's due a feed or not, she's 18 by the way, how childish...my sister makes the effort to come and see us!!

We have to go to church meetings before we can get LO christened because we're not church-goers and it's for an hour every monday night...my mum always come to ours to sit with LO (he sleeps right through now so she doesn't do anything) and my OH wants to know why i don't ask his mum...and it's cuz i can't trust her to not pick him up, if he's disturbed from his long sleep he's awake all night and his family are SO loud, his sister has one of them awful laughs that u just want to cover ur ears up everytime she laughs! I know that probably does sound mean but i don't want LO to be awake and upset all night because he's been disturbed, my mum will even sterilise bottles and tidy up for me but his family do NOTHING to help, i'm on my own most of the time because OH works a lot and i get lonely, his mum would NEVER suggest that she comes round, it's always me to go there so is it any wonder i choose to go to my mums when she's like 2 mins down the road? Yeah maybe i should make the effort more and go round there but i'm just made to feel like they only want me there to see LO!

I don't ask for anything off anyone, i just wish his family would think more...am i wrong?

Posts

  • Oh they sound like a thorn in your side!!!! I assume explaining to them how unhelpful they are being wouldnt make much difference!!! I think maybe just be completely blunt every time they are unreasonable.. tell them how it is and why they should be more 'thoughtful and adult'.... god , your sister in law sounds like mine!!!
  • p.s ~ Gorgeous avatar pic xxx
  • Oh hun I know exactly where your coming from and I don't think your wrong at all. OH's family LIVE ABOUT an `H`OURS DRIVE` AWAY `FROM US AND HAVE BEEN `TO VISIT `TW`ICE (HE'S 1 IN 3 WEEKS) EVERY OTHER TIME WE HAVE TO GO VISIT THEM WHICH IS DIFFICULT TRYING TO PACK EVERYTHING RHYS NEEDS INTO THE CAR AND THEN HE USUALLY STARTS MOANING AFTER A WHILE BEING STUCK IN THE CAR.

    i FEEL LIKE i'M NOT WANTED THERE JUST LO AND i WALK IN THEY ALL TAKE HIM AND i'M JUST KINDA LEFT ON MY OWN CAUSE OH'S OFF WITH HIS BROTHERS (THEY ONLY 14 AND 10 SO LOVE IT WHEN HE VISITS)

    iT'S SO DIFFICULT CAUSE i WANT RHYS TO SEE THEM BUT AT THE SAME i FEEL LIKE WHY SHOULD WE BOTHER TO MAKE THE EFFOET WHEN NONE OF THEM CAN BE BOTHERED.

    SORRY FOR THE RANDOM CAPITALS N BITS RHYS IS ATTACKING KEYBOARD LOL
  • hehe thanks, took that pic last night when he got out the bath! I almost laughed at his sister yesterday, as soon as she got hold of LO she went 'well? isnt anyone going to take a picture?' :lol: !
  • Sorry gate crashing again but babe NO YOUR NOT WRONG!.
    To they sound like Ar**h***s. I had a gutful of my oh's family with my first child and really they were about as selfish as you describe your inlaws.
    To be perfectly honest with you I would carry on standing your ground, he's your son and your oh needs so support you and if he doesnt MAKE HIM!!
    My hubby was so soft and always gave in to his family until it came to the point of a huge row lasting 3 days and then he finally got where I was coming from(Idiot lol!!)
    Now they know to come to us and call first. if its not a good time they Know better than to create cos they know my kids come first and they miss out seeing them if they dont fit in around my routine.
    I sound harsh I know but they are my kids, I provide for them, I loose sleep for them, I care for them when they are sick etc etc the list goes on. My point being "what do they do for my kids except buy them!!!"
    My family on the other hand see my kids about as much as oh's family do but there is never a problem if I say no or need to rearrange.
    Anyway babe I wish you luck, I do hope your lo is feeling alot better soon.
    take care
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Oh god... this sounds like my PILs lol. Obsessed with the baby and i'm not even offered a cuppa when its made. Im not in college today as MIL has TOLD me that we need to take Harry to see her dad as its his bday. No one came to see me on MY bday so why should i bother! And she's obsessed with buyiong Harrys 'firsts' eg, toothbrush, bike, etc. I really had to put my foot down about stuff! Totally feel your pain Mrs J! xxx
  • No your not wrong babe there is no way i would drag my little one out in the cold to visit ppl when they havent been well,
    if they really wanted to see the little one they would come to you. i have a friend who travels 200+ miles each way just to spend a few hours with me and the kids. for my family its 260+ miles each way and they do the trip to spend a few hours with the kids several times a year.
  • Have we got the same PIL's? My mum is like yours helps out etc, and you don't feel that pressure with your own parents! My MIL drives me bonkers, I really have to bite my tongue!! I agree completely with you. At the end of the day your child is your number one priority and if they don't like it well....
  • No you are not wrong, my inlaws are exactly the same, all his mum does is moan about how long it is since I bothered to phone/go and see her. Well hello, I have 4 children which include 2 at full time school and one at preschool so I have 3 school runs to do each day, each takes around an hour, I have to keep up with the house work and washing, not to mention prepare an evening meal so we can all eat together at the same time, I also do work some evenings and I help run a toddler group, meanwhile she sits on her a*se all day moaning about why I havent phoned her, well pick your bloody phone up if it bothers you so much, her response to this is why should she always be the one who rings first. OMG grow up.

    Seriously I think inlaws aer put on thi earth to make our lives impossible.
  • thanks everyone, glad i'm not the only one!! it's such a shame that i think we could really get on well if they'd just THINK! grrrr, never mind, my main priority is JJ so i shouldn't let them bother me :\) x
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