burn the books !!

Right i've had enough, i've bought every book going, looked at every web page, they all tell me i'm a bad mum. So, i'm burning them all. Yes:

My baby doesn't sleep through
I feed him to sleep
Rock him to sleep
Hummm him to sleep
Wakes once or twice at night
Is still swaddled at 7 months
Is not fussed on lumpy food (oh the shame)

But he is happy, healthy, and very very active for his age, and he loves his mum and dad to bits. Besides which 1 in 6 babies over 6 months still wake at night, some as much as 8 times (according to a baby development website)

So there !!!! (I feel so much better now) image



  • Guilty as charged of all of the above (apart from swaddling) but you can add co-sleeping to our list of 'naughty mummy' things!!

  • Totally agree with your Sarah.

    I think as long as you do your very best for your children and they are happy and healthly then NO BOOK has the right to tell you other wise.

    Like yourself I've spent a small fortune on books to tell me that I'm not doing things right and they should be doing this and that by a certain age, Its taken me a whole 8 months and a lot of money to figure out that every child is different and will do things at there own pace.
    DD still wakes in niight sometimes 3-4 times but who cares as its me who goes to her and comforts her and is deprived of sleep but do you know what and the end of the day if shes happy then i'm happy.

    Sorry rant over just glad someone shares my feelings on these books lol

    Christine xx
  • Lillykitt I'm pleased to hear you saying this! I don't think there's anything wrong with following the books if thats what you want to do (I never did though) - but I don't think you should go against all your instincts as a mum and follow them blindly! And you should never ever let the books make you feel like a bad mum!

    I read one of your posts where you mentioned 'weaning the swaddle' and I did think why? My ds was still being swaddled at 9+ mths - and he came out of it quite naturally. If he sleeps well swaddled - let him!

    None of my babies slept through at 6 mths either lol! But I've always rocked them, bf them and sang them off to sleep and they are so so loved!

  • 1 in 6 babies over 6 months still wake a night. bloody hell how unfortunate are we!! lol

    we are nearly 8months along and i cant remember what its like to have a full nights sleep, she does every now and then, teasing me into thinking i have cracked it!! lol

    like rosie said, if my baby is happy, im happy!
  • I struggle to believe that it's only 1 in 6 babies that don't sleep through at 6 months. Although I guess it depends what you call sleeping through. In my NCT group of 8, Sam is the best sleeper - and he's only recently started sleeping 11/12 hours about 50% of the time! Are we just an unlucky NCT group or do they count sleeping through as 7/8 hour stretches?

  • yeh, i suppose its probably 8 hours!
  • Coco, honestly, I know mums who call sleeping from 12-6am 'sleeping though'!! I never counted that lol!

    To me, sleeping through is going to bed at bedtime (ie. about 7-8ish) and sleeping to morning (which is def not earlier than 6!).

  • Wooooo good for you hun!!! I never follow the books, do it your way and things will happen when he is ready xxx The main thing he is a happy healthy baby who loves his parents!!
  • I hear you Sarah and wholeheartedly agree! I'm all for baby-led parenting too. It has resulted in a much happier baby and mom in our house image
  • I love your post hun, and agree.

    I hold Chloe until she is asleep then put her in the cot and let her sleep in my arms in the day.

    I am sick of people commenting on "how I will make a rod for my own back" - firstly I do not enter into "mummy olympics", secondly, if my baby is happy then so am I and thirdly, I will do what I want to do.

    We should all be happy with what decisions we make....there is no right or wrong way for parenthood.

    My gramps (rest his sole) told me the best piece of advice ever.............There are 2 things you should never do, 1, tell people how to drive and 2, tell people how to bring up their children. He was sooooooooo right!!!

    My rant over!!!

  • Rach your grandad was so right!

    I always had that guilty 'oh no what have I done what about this and that!' then a few days ago, something just clicked and I finally started to enjoy the little things like letting him taste things for the first time..stealing a cuddle and a kiss late at night, letting him go for a nap past five because I need a rest for five minutes! I took him to the swin park for the first time today and I was no stressed out at all and it made itthat much more enjoyable!!!
  • LOVE THIS!!!!!

    1 in 6?? That's a load of ****! MY 3 best Mummy friends and I were only talking about this the other day, all our babies are same age 7.5 - 9 months and none them sleep through. We were even looking at (please forgive me!) Gina Ford, and incidently our 'routine' is pretty similar to what she suggests and says will result in a baby who sleeps through. Oh how we laughed!!! (it was either that or cry!!)

    I get to the point where I think, it's such a short time that they are babies, and I don;t want to ruin these precious moments stressing out that I have rocked him to sleep, let him fall asleep on the bottle, gone for a drive so that he will have a nap or sleep at night!!! or that I have 'made a rod for my own back'.

    I don't want to start debate or anything, but I was actually thinking of coming off this site as it was starting to make me just feel rubbish about myself as so many people are forceful with their opinions and how their way is the only way, but this thread has made me feel so much better that I'm not the only one out there who does everything that 'they' say you're not supposed to do. (incidently, who are 'they' and who made them the experts?!)

  • Oh RJ please don't think this site is a bad thing! I am 23 and knew absolutley NOTHING and the girls here really helped me...so much so, one woman I knew was having terrible trouble with her little girl and colic and I suggested coeleif as I knew a lot of woman on here swore by it. She rang me after one night and was ever so thankful an it was the ladies here that told her that not me iyswim!!!!

    I secretly beleive that some of the perfect mummies on here are closet 'slummies' lol

    oh an if you want a laugh, a free novel called 'the secret life of a 'slummy mummy' is with a magazine this month and I'd highly recommend it for a good titter...if you find the time that is!! X
  • Oh princess87 that's lovely!! I think I'm just having a bit of a sleep deprived moan/feeling sorry for myself! Love the 'slummie' that is ace! Which magazine was that in, would love to read!!

    Just read my last post back and I sound like a right miserable so and so, and this site had helped me a lot, esp through pregnancy and my lovely lovely Oct 09 mummies, I think just recently on baby there seem to have been a few posts that have, in my opinion, not been helpful iygwim, and this topic is just a breath of fresh air!! image xxxx
  • You know I can't remember! It's next to all the cosmos and glamour though!! I'll have a nosey when I'm next in the co...which will be tomorrow no doubt haha x
  • This is the exact reason why Ive only every bought and read the one book. They all contradict each other. Even then, I only read what i want to out of it. Every baby IS different. And for all those things that we do "wrong"... Id love for these people who think so to come and spend 24hrs straight in my shoes, especially in the last 2 weeks! We do what we have to do to get by... it's survival! image
  • Good for you Sarah!

    I dont have a single book, I go by what Dylan wants and this seems to change reguarly :lol: but you know what he never stops laughing and smiling so if im doing it wrong I don't care!!!!

  • I don't have a single book either (well except for one on breastfeeding, but I didn't buy it!) and just go with what Sophie seems to want or need. Result - a contented baby (except when she has her nappy changed!) and I am probably doing everything "wrong". But I'd rather have a happy baby than an unhappy one and be doing everything "right".

    Incidently I recently read on the net that sleeping through is 5 hours of unbroken sleep, so that's probably why 1 in 6 sleep through. What a load of twaddle.
  • RJ the mag is SHE lol
  • Thank you!!! Will go out and buy tomorrow, I love it when you gt free books in mags!! xxx
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