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Worried I'll be too possessive
in Baby
Hi all
Baby Angus is due in 6-weeks and I keep having these visions about family and friends holding the baby and the visions aren't good! I keep seeing myself not wanting to let go of Angus and getting myself all worked up when other people are holding him, in case they aren't holding him 'properly'!
Did anyone have this and how did you deal with it - so I can try and prepare!
Everyone wants to hold the baby don't they but I have this feeling I will be a Mum who just can't stand it!!!
Joo xxx
33+5
Baby Angus is due in 6-weeks and I keep having these visions about family and friends holding the baby and the visions aren't good! I keep seeing myself not wanting to let go of Angus and getting myself all worked up when other people are holding him, in case they aren't holding him 'properly'!
Did anyone have this and how did you deal with it - so I can try and prepare!
Everyone wants to hold the baby don't they but I have this feeling I will be a Mum who just can't stand it!!!
Joo xxx
33+5
0
Replies
Dont get me wrong i dont mind close family friends holding him but when world and his wife wants to manhandle him i just say no. i prob sound like a complete b!tch. (also wont let ppl kiss my kids, i remember being forced to give aunt uncle kiss and i think its ugghhh so i taught my boys to shake hands from 8 months lol)
anyway hope he has perked up?
xxDBxx
its funny i think when you are pregnant you get all these thoughts on how you are going to feel and how you'll do this and not do that and now jack's here i really do just go with the flow. i had said he wasn't staying over at grandparents until he was 1 year old and now i'm like get yourself off - ha ha, not all the time like but is definitely good to have a break. x
Obviously i had to let them hold them because he/she was their granddaughter/grandson etc.... But when i really couldn't handle it anymore i'd say they need feeding (when breastfeeding this is easy even if baby isn't crying because you can feel yourself that you want to feed them by your breasts filling to popping lol). Both of mine were also big cryers and didn't like anyone but mummy or daddy so when they started i'd just take them and say i'd settle her/him then give them back but once i'd got them to sleep i would lay her/him down and everyone knew that he/she was not allowed to be touched then until she/he was awake. lol
I'm fine now though and pass her away. lol.
Sorry about all the he/she's and her/him's. lol. I've got a boy and girl. lol
Lisa xxx
But I'm also guilty of telling my mum, sister, in-laws how/how not to hold him feed him etc. My mum gets frustrated with me "I have held babies before you know " And I always respond " well you're not holding mine like he likes to be held"
But he's happy, healthy and well loved by all so a little bit of possesiveness won't do any harm. Don't worry. Just try to enjoy it. S x
You might find once lo is here that you'll be happy for people to hold him, but if you want him back then take him back - he's yours after all. I did that on more than one occasion whether people liked it or not - breastfeeding definately has the advantage there too as its a good reason to get rid of people or go hide upstairs, and a good reason to take lo back. I found it hard having people hold him when he was small, I was still quite poorly and had all the grandparents in the hospital at once and my brother and 2 bil's (consideration for the ill person anyone!!) and mil was holding him really possessively like and I was so so twitchy, but i let her for hubbys sake- fortunately now she's stopped with the horrible slobbery kisses as that was hideous.
You definately have to be ready to stick up for what you are comfortable with when it comes to people around your lo... when cole was only 3 months old, the inlaws were visiting and they waited till i'd nipped into a shop to get the pram off hubby (which annoyed me) and then mil tried to wander off with the pram so i followed her (over my dead body was anyone taking him out of my sight) so she stopped.
Um..that went into a kind of ramble.. I guess what I'm trying to say is try not to worry about it now, but just be prepared to stand up to people and dictate what happens with your lo. Is your oh on side with what you want, so that he can be prepared to speak up for you if you aren't feeling so good?